Topic: How Do I Bond With My Girlfriend’s 7 Year Old Son?
no photo
Mon 11/20/17 05:26 PM
I am a divorced man in my late 40's currently dating a latina with a 7-year old son. I want to know how to impress 7-year old boys nowadays seeing as I’ve never had any children of my own.
Backstory: My first marriage ended badly because I married a woman impulsively. She had all the red flags that I should have seen right from the start. We would make love passionately and we would fight just as hard. However, all that passion couldn't save our marriage. I'm determined to make my second marriage a success.
I met my girlfriend on a sort of dating site from AFA. It's kind of a funny story. It was during a moment of weakness that I actually considered getting myself a mail order bride. I couldn't help being curious about what’s in the site. I went to find out if there was any bidding or transactions for brides. Turns it there isn't, but it did not stop me from browsing profiles.
I saw my girlfriend for the first time on the site and took to a liking to her immediately. There was something inside me that told me she and I would get along great. I wasn't wrong. We have similar personalities and priorities.
There are dozens of stereotypes about dating single mothers and a few friends tried to discourage me. I want to take a chance with this woman and I wanna do it right. That means to be a role model for her son and start by impressing him.
Her son is not into sports, but he likes video games. Back in my day, what fathers did with their sons was play sports. I'm not a sporty person myself and I'm not into computers either. How can I start breaking the ice with the son? Any ideas? Please help me.

Argo's photo
Mon 11/20/17 06:31 PM
take him fishing..

Stu's photo
Mon 11/20/17 06:36 PM

take him fishing..


That's a start.

Talk to him as a friend and find out his interests.. find a common ground, or try something he likes, let him impress you.
Don't try to be a father figure if dad is still around.

I'm sure I can think of more mistakes I made with my adopted son and my ex gf's twin boys... but there's a start for you.

no photo
Mon 11/20/17 08:30 PM
How Do I Bond With My Girlfriend’s 7 Year Old Son?

Maybe ask your girlfriend rather than strangers on an online dating site?
For all I know the son has absolutely no desire to bond with you.

How can I start breaking the ice with the son? Any ideas?

Try not to tell the same stories as in the OP? About your ex girlfriend and passion, and finding his mom on a mail order bride site?



notbeold's photo
Mon 11/20/17 09:19 PM
You could try a cheap train set, or slot car track, or build a model glider, or something like that, but kids have short attention spans, so don't over do it.

Cheap R/C helicopter races / battles; teach how to get the best out of things they already have, eg. camera, video games, and other gadgets.
What do they crave that the mother cant help with ? Eg. how cars work.
Fun park picnic, swimming lessons, nature walks, nerf ball gun.
I got a girl's kid a spud gun, and we skirmished, but I got in trouble for all the little bits of potato everywhere. The kid loved it.

mzrosie's photo
Mon 11/20/17 09:59 PM
Astonishing! All these 40 something guys from Phoenix, Arizona who just happened to have met the love of their lives from another site coming to Mingle for relationship advice these days. But what do I know, right? Must be just coincidence. Yeah that must be it.

oops offtopic sorry

happyjack1948's photo
Mon 11/20/17 10:14 PM
Take to a video arcade where there are all sorts of games play against him but let him win, just make it a close game. if play 10 games let him win 6 of them shout him ice cream and you both enjoy your selves

motowndowntown's photo
Mon 11/20/17 10:14 PM
Topic: How Do I Bond With My Girlfriend’s 7 Year Old Son?

IDK, super glue?

madnesz's photo
Tue 11/21/17 08:58 AM
always be there for him... have fun laugh,

yellowrose10's photo
Tue 11/21/17 09:04 AM

How Do I Bond With My Girlfriend’s 7 Year Old Son?

Maybe ask your girlfriend rather than strangers on an online dating site?
For all I know the son has absolutely no desire to bond with you.

How can I start breaking the ice with the son? Any ideas?

Try not to tell the same stories as in the OP? About your ex girlfriend and passion, and finding his mom on a mail order bride site?





This

TxsGal3333's photo
Tue 11/21/17 09:16 AM
Spending quality time with him doing things he likes to do with out mom and giving him the attention that he needs...Just being his buddy will make a big difference...

Serchin4MyRedWine's photo
Tue 11/21/17 09:29 AM
Aside from some serious issues with the way the OP approaches all this, I'd say don't try to impress him, just be yourself. Most important to start a relationship with him is to listen when he speaks, maybe if you are going to dinner, ask him where he would like to go. Even if it is McDonald's go there, it will show him he is apart of the equation and not feel left out.

yellowrose10's photo
Tue 11/21/17 09:34 AM

Spending quality time with him doing things he likes to do with out mom and giving him the attention that he needs...Just being his buddy will make a big difference...


At the same time as not or try to be the dad

Tom4Uhere's photo
Tue 11/21/17 11:20 AM
The same way you would bond with anyone else.
He's a person, not an object to be used to gain favor with his mother.
Just remember that at 7 years old, he is still a child and you are an adult. Children often need guidance so use that knowledge to set your rules for bonding.
If you don't know how to be a dad, try being an uncle.
If you don't know how to be an uncle, try being a big brother.
If you don't know how to be a big brother, try being Mom's boyfriend.
Just understand that at 7 years old, he probably sees you as an interloper. Treat him like a person with feelings and desires, just like everyone else.