Do you see yourself approaching the point of being undateable?....
are you already there?

I think I'm there now...it's very liberating.

What does being undateable mean max?

Does it mean you cant find anyone compatible that you would like to date ?

see people drift into one of two camps as they hit mid-life

1. no man's land or I am an island unto myself
2. grab while the gettings good


I dunno call the what you like

the first one is for the ones who have stopped trying
or have standards so high no one can meet them or
they have convinced themselves that this 'perfect' person does not exist

the second camp are the ones that jump in at a moment's notice, at every wink or flirt they are on it man..and convince themselves they have found their soulmate or they convince themselves that this person is good enough


of course those are the two extremes
many fall somewhere in between

Not really...not even sure I can even explain it properly.
It may just be the next stage of life, or it might be the beginning of insanity...

I might be falling into the first category you listed, Tmom. I'll have to wait and see.

I prefer to think of dating or finding that special person as a broad continuum instead of a rigid deadline.

I thought that I had found that special person twice in my life, and I was wrong. It just taught me that love /dating/relationships are an unpredictable journey.

I may find a compatible match today, several years from now or never , but all I can do is open my heart to romantic opportunities that resonate with my goals and values, and savor it for as long as he and I can make it last.

The rest is totally out of my control.

I've been there for a very long time.

My spirit is willing but my body isn't.
I'm barely healthy enough to sit at the computer sometimes.
Not by choice.

I have days when I am feeling ready to do some amazing things.
On those days, I sit and think if there were only someone in my life to do these things with.

Problem is I am homebound most of the time.
While I am not really bored, its not exciting enough to warrant company.

I think that if I found a woman that could be interested in the 'down time' the things we could do during the 'up times' would be wonderful and fun.

I can't take the heat in the summer or the cold in the winter.
I have to wait till the sun goes down to do outside things right now. In the winter, I have to do indoor activities.

Spring and fall are the best for me. Its difficult to find a woman that can understand. I'm not saying they don't exist, I just haven't met any yet.

I identify with a lot of what you said, Tom...some days I feel good, but they getting more sparse as time goes by.

Not really undateable but sometimes that feeling of getting tired of the process. It's like there are a thousand options on who to date u cant seem to choose for the one that fits your taste.

And the there are days when you feel you're old and grumpy and slow and ugly. Lol!

I consider myself to be undateable
Of course that is only cos I'm with him, and intending to keep it that way!

From what I read, I agree with Peggy. You should always keep an eye out, and your heart open, but finding someone shouldn't be the focus of your life.
Have something going for yourself, make yourself happy, enjoy life. Then you are far more appealing, plus you'll never feel 'undateable' either because you are happy regardless.
Simply put, no one is eager to become the crutch for another's happiness, everyone is looking for a positive partner.

*Sigh* little kid~
I, This lord, was born undate'able~

I've been "Undate'able" my whole life and I've always found it to be more depressing then liberating. How ever, after I excepted it as a fact of my existence a lot of weight fell off my shoulders in the form of societal pressures to be involved in that way with other people. Unfortunately the down side is that I now lack the desire to continue life and the only thing that gets me out of bed anymore is the fact that I do not wish to be a physical/financial burden on anyone.

Run, don't walk to a good counselor. They can help. Good luck

I'll just say don't give into thinking you're undateable! This is going to come as a shock... but I thought I was undateable. Then here lately, I've started to get my life somewhat like where I wanted to be 10 years ago. I've started gaining more confidence, and just trying to be more optimistic. Happy if you will, with enthusiasm instead of my typical ho hum blahness.
Anyways, things have been blossoming with conversations I've had with women lately. Even if we decided it wouldn't be a meet. But has given me new perspective on the whole, "who would date you Scoob?" thing to me.

oh scoob, that was wonderful! I'm happy for you kiddo

I see I'm not alone. Thank you brothers, for sharing your experiences...I see some of you have made adjustments and moved on...and best of luck and hope to those who are still struggling with this.

Couldn't add more....I totally agree

Agree on this, occupy yourself and keep it busy while doing the best you can to be happy in whatever situation you are in. Just Be Happy...No Matter What....Life Goes On.....

I wouldn't go for UNDATEABLE. "Unlikely to find the mate I need" might be more accurate.

Im happy for you scooby!