iam going threw a divorce we have been together for almost 18 years..and the last year we have just fallen out of love she said..but she had a new man the next day...me it devastated and made me sucidel and just hit rock bottom. .but now iam starting to see that I have to stand up and put myself back together it is one of the hardest things in my life...

You're not alone, trust me. Do your best to be strong but understand that you are human and it is ok to show emotion. Bottling your feelings constantly can only lead to the bottle bursting or overflowing, so don't let that happen. I know it may sound dumb but take things one day at a time and be thankful (if) you still have your health. There will be bad days, just stay out of trouble and try not to isolate yourself too much.

Keep your head up.

Never been in that situation. I hope it will help you.

Make a list of the things you enjoy doing, and try to work in one of two of those activities a week. Enjoyable tasks will help to ground you in the understanding that there is life after divorce.

Godbless

Some times bad chit happens to good people. It's life. Try to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Pick yourself up and carry on. It takes time but it does get better.

Been through it a few times myself..CAN'T LET IT GET YOU DOWN.

just keep in mind that this too shall pass and you are not alone.

Worst word in the human language=divorce.

You just have to get through it.
You never know what awaits you around every bend.

Save yourself for someone that deserves you, it is
so much better.

Plan for sad times and have something ready as standby
even if tis only a drive in a car..just something, to
take your head elsewhere.

Meeting new people gives you more chances..welcome :-)

It is unhealable hurt ! Feel for you...

Lock yourself indoor and cry for a few days, and then take a long run. Hope it will help you to feel beeter.

I've been going thru it for 3 years now. I can't seem to move on and she dates alot. don't understand it.. she once told me she would never be with another. what is the point of marriage then... I tried to give her the death til you part thing and tried to kill my self 2 time by drinking radiator fluid and rat poison. some how lived both times. alot of ICU time and mental hospitals and after all the healing didn't matter to her ... so I know how you feel

you could try to channel your negative feelings into doing some activities that you enjoy like for me it was traveling and seeing theres a whole lot more of places to see and people to meet. this after you have gone through the mourning process of course ... give yourself sufficient time...build your shattered soul and love you're self more.

I suggest counseling
were you depressed or just using those tactics as a wake up call
in the hopes she would come running back to you

that is not love
that is emotional blackmail

seek help

It's been two years since our divorce she ran off with another man, we had been together since we were 17. It hurt so bad, it was the worst feeling ever. Anxiety attacks lost my job... i thought the hurt would never end.... but one day I felt the urge to forgive her. So that's what I did I called and forgave her. I'm so thankful for the time good times we had and the two good kids we got, she is such a good mom. I'm thankful now... a year ago I didn't want to wake up in the morning. Time, forgiveness and the gym really can heal all wounds brother. Just know that every morning you wake up, is one morning closer to healing. Good luck brother, find some good friends to lean on and stay away from the bottle

The Lord is your strength

Sorry to hear of divorce miseries.

I went through it decades ago and still remember the pain. Hurts if you dump or are dumped.

But since I have yet to see that throwing your present life away over your past ever gets you anywhere I recommend just get on with getting on. Life will be different and for the ones who decide to make it better it usually does get better.

I don't recommend jumping out of the skillet into the fire but you can learn a lot making cyber friends here in Mingleland . Whether it is skills or conversation when you you feel bored or lonesome. There are some forums that are a great boost if your day needs that.
And a lot of useful information in many of the threads.

You want to keep in mind this is the world wild web when you post and that includes all your family past and present. And whatever you put up is up forever. Don't draw a target on your back.

I will keep ya all in positive thoughts and prayers for peace.

It was actually almost funny, in retrospect, how completely devastated I was, when my now ex-wife announced that she'd already hired a divorce attorney. I spent the night on the couch in tears, feeling I was as complete a failure as a human being as I have ever felt in my life.

What made it almost funny in retrospect, is that the marriage (all twenty years) had been tumultuous, painful, unrewarding more than half the time, and virulently depressing; yet when it was announced that it was over, I still collapsed. Perhaps because I had dedicated myself to taking LITERALLY whatever came, no matter what, and making the best of it...and that non-stop effort, from every aspect of my being, had proven futile in the end.

In short, I know exactly how devastated the OP is. I did have a couple of better aspects: this particular woman, my ex, had NOT run directly off with someone else, she was just thoroughly done with me. And, I was entirely certain that it WAS over, the moment she said so. I lost no time in beginning to move on, by immediately grieving. And then the next day, even through my extremely dark depression, I started the work of dealing with the separation and divorce process.

Ok, how can I approach this! First, no other human being is a reason for trying to commit suicide, no one. The first idea about trying to commit suicide, you and only you is responsible for doing it. It is not a cause for revenge, only hurt yourself and the ones that really love you.

Now, I know deep in my feelings, how it really hurts when we fall out of love, but it is not the end. The grass it is not greener on the other one yard. By this I mean, you can only take care of yourself, give love, hope you are loved too. It takes two to have a lovable relationship. If you fall out of love, trust your feelings, I always, always advise that. Feelings are there to tell you, to talk to you, how life is going.
Now, if you fall out of love, respect that and move forward. If you are a good person, good things will fall in your lap.
Does not matter what, go through the divorce with you head held high, respectful, with honor, does not matter what the other side trow at you. While taking the steps of the divorce, take good care of yourself. Finish it, move on, reinvent yourself, look at the bright side of life. Project yourself with your head held high. Be, very careful with this one, be open and mindful of what is yet to come. Learn from your mistakes and experience, learn about yourself, look for help if needed.
At the end, is your body, your soul that is bright and beautiful, be positive, stay away from the negative, stand tall, and take care of yourself. Do this and yourself will take care of you.

I am the one who filed after twenty years of trying every damn thing I could think of
he went on to remarry within a year
walked away from two kids, two dogs, a house, ten acres and twenty years of memories like it was nothing..

I was a wreck. I bawled like a baby more than once..I was angry
felt like a complete and dismal failure
why? because that formula did not work
you know the one
" if something is not working just try harder"

I had lost mom to cancer, dad to liver disease
I realized that first year after divorce
that I was grieving..grieving for all the time and effort invested
all the years gone
for all those dreams that were supposed to come true
after the kids were grown and off to college

One of the hardest things to see when relationships end are the "mistresses" we bring to failed relationships. Especially marriages.

I am not just picking on mental illness but it is a huge weight to carry into young marriages where skills are limited. The twenty year ditch is often just staying for kids they don't want to leave at the mercyof an ill parent even for visitations.

I think all too often the cruel myth that love can cure all is the to often the hardest one to let go. Someone can love you like the air they breath but it doesn't make you well and eventually partners just pour it out until the well runs dry.

Not really evident when a partner goes out and seeming "instantly" finds love but sometimes they are just just soaking up the love others are ready, willing, and jumping for the chance to pour into them the minute they do leave.

For any spouses that dessert with children it is often a matter of survival since mental illness has already bankrupted family, friends, and financials.

about 4 hours ago
Let me in your life. Then youwill feel a meaningful life.

Hey..
Can i joine as with u