I was speaking about something with someone lately and I got this response

and even though it's in quotes, I am paraphrasing

'if it doesn't impact me, why should I care?'

I think this is a dangerous and egocentric attitude, personally.
There is some saying about evil persisting because good people do nothing, and I believe most good people do nothing because whatever evil they observe is not impacting them(at the time).

I care about a lot of issues that impact me, and much more that impact others even when they do not impact me. I care about the long-term potential impact of certain cultural decisions and trends even though they are 'personal' choices.

I wonder, what is your view about when one should 'care'. Do you tend to only 'care' about what directly affects you? Or do you 'care' about things that affect others or have the potential to affect others,,,as well?

I care when I can actually DO SOMETHING about it.

I care when something affects someone I love.

I care if I believe it could affect me or someone I love.

I used to care deeply about things that I had no control over or had no influence on. It made me moody and stressed. I used to get so damn mad when I saw someone being treated unfairly. I lost sleep, argued and voiced my concerns.

9 times out of 10 if I stepped in on their behalf, it ended poorly for me, causing more stress and misery than if I did nothing. Not caring is not the same as ignoring. I am aware of those injustices but now I only act or offer advice when requested to. I know exactly who the azzholes are.

When SHTF and things get tough, I found out that those that I care about did not return the sentiment. I found myself alone to deal with my crisis by myself. All the well-wishing and concern does not help. Empathy is empty without action. Just like love.

There are a lot of things that don't personally affect me but I still "care" about, even though I can do nothing to ameliorate them; wars, poverty, hunger. Few real human beings like to see others, especially children, suffer.

There are other things that don't affect me about which I care very little but seem to put others up in arms. Gay marriage being one. It's no skin off my nose if two gay people want to get married, so I don't care.

I don't know what you mean by "care."
The term is generally used interchangeably between an immediate emotional reaction concerning a specific event, a long term emotional stance on an issue, as well as emotional ability (e.g. bond an emotional association to an idea possibly to motivate ongoing behavior).


Outside of an immediate reaction regarding an immediate change of focus to something out of the ordinary or normal, I tend to "care" about the things that either directly affect me, I recognize indirectly affect me, or that I have to (or it's expected of me to) accept responsibility for, especially if my actions can influence it.


Maybe.
"Things that affect others...potential to affect others," is pretty vague.

I read a butterfly flapping its wings in Africa can cause a hurricane in Florida.
I don't really care that butterflies keep flapping their wings, or that people want to live in Florida, or students in Florida are enslaving caterpillars in jars, or that same sex butterfly marriage in Africa is not recognized. I cared long enough to type this.

I care when I can understand the situation. If I don't understand the situation it is difficult for me to understand what I should be concerned about.

After a conversation about the situation with someone affected I'll decide whether I would feel concerned in that situation. Hearing someone's story about the situation works too. However, it does not work if the person talking about the situation has never been in that situation.

Just addressing the specific question directly: "Do you tend to only 'care' about what directly affects you? Or do you 'care' about things that affect others or have the potential to affect others,,,as well?"

The tricky thing is, lots of things that SEEM to affect only other people, do actually affect us as well. Sometimes it takes willingness and work, to understand that.

I also think that a significant number of the people who loudly SAY they only care if it's about them, are really only saying that to deflect immediate harassment. It can be exhausting to deal with an earnest person who wants you to commit emotionally (or monetarily) in their cause du jour.

One more tidbit, a sort of question coming off the edge of this one: do others have a right to SEE us show our care?

Here's the way I see it...

You're sitting in the living room watching Tv and the News comes on and says there is riots in Ferguson, MO. It affects you in the core of your being because it hints at some injustice you percieve in your own life.
All night long it eats on you and you feel miserable for the people even tho you don't know a single one and they are a thousand miles from you.

Do you care about their problem? Perhaps.
Can you actually do anything to help them? Perhaps.
BUT...Do YOU?
Or...
Do you allow your mood to be affected so it interferes with your contentment?

Now, Your child comes to your door at 2 am and says he had a fight with his wife. You act, offering to let him sleep here and to talk with him about the problems he wants to share, hoping that he gains some insight from the discussion. You DO Care! You care not only for him but for his wife, their children and their contentment.

Caring is only pertinent when it effects the outcome related to someone that is important to you. You can SAY you care about the whales, perhaps you do, but if it comes to the whales or whether you eat , eating comes first everytime.

I must ask, Are the priorities of concern for image benefit or a true sense of concern for all others? When SHTF, where will the careing concern be? In the whales, a people a half a continent away or for your own survival?

Do you care because you can or because you must?

There in lies the problem with most of the human race. Most people don't seem to care unless it impacts them personally or someone/something they care about.

How is that "The Problem With The Human Race"?

How much sleep do you lose over other people's problems?

How much of your time do you dedicate to the details 'not' reported in the NEWS?
Do you still care about Flint, MI? What about those that lost everything in hurricane Katrina? How about the people displaced from their homes by mud slides or fires in Southern California?
Have you forgotten to care because it is no longer covered in the media?

Do you use sympathy like a badge or trophy?
Saying you care and actually caring are very different.

to care: feel concern or interest; attach importance to something.


there are many things I care about,,

some I can't do much about NOW, but stay on my radar in case I am able to later

some I can do something about NOW


to care is about what we feel for others, it is not always rather we can 'do something' or not...

The way I see it...
Empathy with others is not the same as caring for others.

Caring involves care-giving. Providing care to another.
It is an action, not an emotion. It is an outward act to the benefit of another.

Empathy is the ability to identify with the emotional states of others. Empathy is an inward feeling that gives a sense of commonality.

Concern is the awareness of a condition and the understanding within yourself that a change is needed to improve the results.

I am concerned about the political unrest in South East Asia.
I have empathy for the people that are affected by the actions of immature governments.
There is nothing I can do to care for the people or the conditions. Thus, I am unable to care.
My empathy and concern could create all kinds of problems with my contentment if I let it. However, being unable to care, I can release those emotions and preserve my contentment.

understood

in issues of semantics, it is helpful for the speaker to clarify the definition they are using

my definition was not understanding or empathizing, which can be done without caring, imho

my definition was merely having concern or interest in , or to find important


as an example, in watching this cloning fiction series called Orphan Black, there was a clone who was over the program, which involved some clones becoming sick and dying,,, though she understood how they felt, she didn't care as she felt it was necessary for science to disregard 'feelings'

it was not until she became a target herself, that she began to 'care'

which I find is often the case, some people are able to not 'care' when it isnt happening to them and others care before it affects them with an understanding that one day it COULD affect them

lol ciretom I immediately thought of the butterfly effect...its a matter of perception in a lot of ways as to what's affecting you directly or indirectly... some people get bent of shape over celebrity divorces for f*%# sake...all in who u are and what u deem important enough in life

I guess I'm one of the evil people. My care usually pertains to myself, and those that I know personally or family.

There are things I care about, and times where I can be flippant and just say, it doesn't affect me in any way directly that I can see. So f@¢< it.

And this is exactly the callus response I have come to expect from the human race. Thank you so much for supporting my belief that this race is doomed to destroy its self.