In a nutshell I possess several nice qualities such as loyalty, honesty, dependable, protective, above average IQ, & humble. My favorite thing to do is make people laugh and feel good about themselves. Overall I'm a super good hearted guy. At the same time if need be I can be just as equivalent of a bad guy. My question is do women honestly prefer a bad boy over a good guy? Preferably I'd rather be the good guy and only let the bad boy out if need be. If some women would prefer a good guy my question would then be how do I advertise these good qualities oppose to just being a bad boy?
*Be easy, I'm just trying to learn*

Seems to me you should just be yourself. Playing an act is a lie. People don't like liars.

Well your pic is not exactly Pennsylvania Dutch :-)

Do you know why some movies seem to have depth and others none?
Because one-dimensional characters are uninteresting, but if
you add some bad boy to the good boys and some good boy to
the bad boys..everybody wins.

Be anything you are :-)

I totally agree, but it takes courage to show the real me, yet I am all that I am, and hopefully people accept me as I am, if not, then it's their loss. Lots of luck to us all.

OP, you touched on an interesting topic. That is... what women really want'. It still eludes even the most intelligent, 'women-savy' man. It's difficult to find that delicate balance between that cool, confident, take-charge, bad ***, guy and, that sweet, kind, considerate, cook, clean, do-the-dishes, kind of guy.

This is the challenge we men face. You'll just have to try different approaches with different women. Good luck. Report back to Mingle2 with your experiences please.

So sick of the bad boys.. but they always say, nice guys finish last.

"Bad boy" is a label like "friends."
It covers a lot of different circumstances.
Without any context it's a worthless term.

Some women like the "bad boy" because the "bad boy" is consistent in their communication, they appear transparent. Their body language, their actions, what they say, seem to be honest. They're "bad" because they don't appear to have any facade or subterfuge.
They seem to be direct with either altruistic tendencies or selfish desires.

Some women like the "bad boy" because they (women) really have no desire for a relationship, they may even be lying to themselves that they do, possibly love being a victim. They choose the "bad boy" because on some level they know it's guaranteed to fail, and since they're a "bad boy" she can blame him for all the problems, hold him responsible for all the crap she goes through for choosing him.
She gets relationship "benefits" in the short term, without long term commitment, with no responsibility or guilt for relationship failure, except commiseration and empathy from others as a victim to a "bad boy."

Some women like different guys for different reasons. Some women just happen to label the guys left in their wake "bad boys" because the guys wouldn't put up with the women's crap.
Little different than some guys labeling a bunch of women in their past "psycho," or, "clingy," or, "needy."

Some women like "normal" guys but label them "bad boys" because in comparison to some of the super betas they dated prior the "normal" guy appears "bad."

Some women date "normal" guys, but like to see themselves a certain way, so label the guys they date "bad boys" because it reinforces her image, who she wants to be perceived as.

Some women date "normal" guys who live a certain lifestyle, where other guys label the "normal" guy a "bad boy" because they don't live that way...and want to date the woman.

Some guys label others "bad boy" because they just want to date the woman and need to come up with a means of feeling superior to the guy she's with, for their own esteem.

Some guys label themselves "bad boy" because they aren't very smart.
They say things like "I'm just myself. I'm me. I don't conform to any labels. I don't put people in a box." But then look at other people, label them, put them in a box, and say "I'm not like them, I'm a bad boy," putting a label on themselves, putting themselves in a box just by doing it to others.

"Bad boy" isn't a useful term without a clear definition of use.



It doesn't matter.
At best, with this question, you are asking "how do I find women that are incapable of seeing past my manipulating their perceptions to who I really am."
At worst you are asking "what's a guaranteed way to manipulate women into seeing me how I want them to."

"Good" qualities are (relatively, pragmatically) innate. You simply live them, they (relatively, pragmatically) organically motivate your behavior and hide from your conscious perceptions.

You don't advertise them, you simply accept them as the way things "are." The things you do are the "right" things to do, you can't do things any other way.


Unless you've sat down with a psychiatrist for years and made a list together, then any list of "good" qualities you think you have and advertise is wrong.

I mean:
"protective" - as far as anyone knows that stems out of a desire for control, a lack of esteem, or a tendency towards preying upon "damaged" women by being a "white knight."
Could also be manipulating social reciprocity for control. "I protect you, you HAVE to see me as the dominant power protecting you, that's my role. I do it, you have to validate it."

"loyalty" - as far as anyone knows that stems from simple social reciprocity, a desire to control women. "I'm loyal to you as long as you're loyal to me. If I act loyal to you, then you HAVE to be loyal to me in return, otherwise you're the a-hole and I retain all judgment and ostracization rights and am better than you."

"humble" - for all anyone knows that stems from low self esteem. Fear of being proven wrong. Fear of conflict.


Unless you're going after a certain type of woman (the kind that lies to themselves about what they want, so have a shopping list of qualities in their desired short term relationship they think will make them happy).

"Good" women will figure out who you are despite what you do to try and tell them who you want them to think you are.
Those women want information, not advertising.
Information comes through communicating what you do, what you want, what you think, how you feel.
Especially about things you have in common with them, not yourself.

Nah, it's a matter of sorting out your chit and getting balanced within your masculinity.
You make it sound like a circus act where you have to do something that's likely not even you in order to appease someone.
It's about being you, the best version of you, not for her, but for yourself. Then you find this balance between cool, take charge etc and the do-the-dishes guy by itself.

Oh, and it's not that you men have to face that stuff. Women have to deal with this just the same, just the other way round, becoming empowered in their feminine energy.

On the other hand, if we are truthful and only show the "real me" and the other person rejects it, then what (other than moving on)? It's the only "real me" there is. And what if happens repeatedly?

Believe me when I say that I have been rejected by the ladies most of my life, " nice guy's finish last, " However, it wasn't until 15yrs ago that I was forced into looking at who I am. I did not like who I saw, so how can others like me. By getting honest with myself, learning to live alone, not being dependent on others to make me feel good, was the only way to get me to feel happy about who I am. It was then that I learned that I was able to accept others for who they are. Hope that makes sense. Thanks.

The thing about wisdom is that you learn from both your successes and failures in life. Being our own unique person allows us to make changes in ourselves however we wish.

I know that I stop doing things that constantly fail. Adopt new behaviors that yeild desired results. Those changes become who I am. Therefore it is not an act. Its the real me.

Of the 7 billion people on this planet there are maybe 100,000 that are a match. It only takes one. Trying to appeal to all possible matches is way too much to focus on. Concentrate on who you need to be to find the one and be that person. When you find each other, you don't need to be anyone other than who you are. Then, you become someone new with them.

Being honest with yourself is always going to be whats best for you and for the one you seek.

Well, I think most ppl over think this, whether you are male or female. It isn't rocket science... Be who you are if you click together you click.

Each and every person deep down knows what attracts them. So stay with what attracts you.

The problem arises when the "labels" start coming into play. There is no such thing as the alltime "nice guy" can't be done and be real. "Nice girl" etc....

We all have strengths and weakness's, know thyself and project it.

Don't be what you think the other person wants. Big let down for all involved.

Does it matter? Really?

I only need to appeal to one woman. She only needs to appeal to me.

People are complex and ever changing.

Noone fits only one box all the time, and different behaviors and attitudes are required for different circumstances and environments.


This woman here prefers someone with BALANCE. I prefer them to MOSTLY be mannerable and inspiring, but CAPABLE of laying down the law when necessary and protecting the people he loves.

I truly believe that most women want the strength , confidence and passion of a bad boy and the sensitivity, dependability and integrity of the good guy but its difficult to find the balance. . I actually think you did a great job of expressing that balance in your post. If you have that balance, go out there and let it shine.! And for those who dont have that balance , own who you are but keep working at getting that balance. I consider the balance to be the best version of ourselves that we should all aspire to

Hi you welcom

Can't lump all women into 1. Some look for bad boys, some don't

I Agree on that note

He wants most of the women lolzzz....every woman is different as with a man, so one would be enough, two would be complicated and three a mess.....

Personally I don't want a person in my life that comes in thinking he has a "job" in the relationship to be anything; protector, make me laugh, eben provider ect.
. Just be there and be yourself.
I am realist enough to know everyone has good and bad points so someone who tries to put a false face on I never trust and get comfortable with. And so intimacy would not developed. Since I don't do parallel role playing I loose interest fast if they by accident or subterfuge get my attention.
Generally someone who tries to rat the off a laundry of personality traits they think they possess makes think they are trying to think for me or paint on a persona that is commercially advertised but may or may not turn out to be them.