For as long as I can remember I've never fit in; not with family, with others in school or in life in general. It's as though I was born in the wrong era. I've tried adjusting and conforming to what I see around me and for a while it works; I'll make friends, meet a guy... but it's very short lived as one of two things happen, I either grow irritated and start lashing out or I try to be more of myself and people slowly back away. I'm not sure what the problem is. I'm quirky for sure but I'm not a bad looking woman. I'm articulate, talented, self analyzing, independent, caring to the best of my abilities. Yet still I haven't made not one permanent bond with anyone in life. At this point I'm starting to question if it's even possible in this life time. I'm noticing I'm becoming more withdrawn as the years go by. I'm 34 and I have literally one friend at the moment and no family. My phone hardly ever rings and I never go anywhere outside of work anymore. I mean I could do activities alone but....

Honestly I feel the same way.. you are beautiful, reading your profile you are well skilled and multi talented. Yet nobody speaks or wants to hang. It's weird man, make us feel ugly and confused inside, everyone says great thing about you but here we are alone, everyday..

I saw your post and the title caught my attention straightaway. I have to tell you that I can relate to pretty much every gripe you've made and I totally understand your pain. I have a few friends, I guess, but only one that cares enough to contact me on a regular basis, and she's supposed to be moving away in August (which is why I'm on here looking for possible new friends, lol). I, too, thought somebody up in Heaven must've mixed up the paperwork on me, because I just do NOT relate to about 90% of humanity in this day and age. I thought I was meant for another time/era like yourself. Even if I can coerce friends to go out with me, it's almost awkward how much we don't have in common. Even to the point where I'll start to question in my head, why I'm even friends with this person, hehe. Which I'm sure you can understand. But I'd just like to encourage you to not give up on people. The reason they probably back away from you when you become yourself, is because you're an honest person that prefers straigh-talk. Most people today are bouncing around from their cell-phone selfies to starbucks to their subconscious self-graciousness. It's a world of unique and special snowflakes that NEED to identify themselves with some sort of social grouping, and somebody that's straigh-forward and no non-sense like yourself, is threatening to them, because it challenges their lifestyle and world perspective. But rest assured, there is nothing wrong with you (or me), but it's really just the rest of the world that is under some sort of MK Ultra self-indulgent soap-opera hollywood incantation. Don't stop being yourself and don't give up on the rat race. Stay strong.

I wish they said great things about me. I usually get spoke of as the untrustworthy stanger. Most treat me like a threat or competition.

Maybe you need a change of location.

I know how that is. I barely resonate with any of my family since we have such different beliefs and when I do try and make new friends most people aren't interested in talking because they don't want to take the time to meditate and contemplate anything. I'm trying to find people with similar interests but I don't fit into one group really. Purely because I can't find anywhere to put it in my profile let's see ... I like knitting and making things in general, computer programming and technology stuff, reading and listening to philosophy podcasts, love animals and been vegetarian for over 10 years (wow physical time goes so quick yet so slowly) ... Oh and not that labels mean much but if I had to put labels on it I would say probably bisexual although lately wanting to find more women to be friends etc with and polyamorous. When I tell people bisexual or polyamorous they tend to run in the other direction if they haven't already.

Well well.look at all the brainy people..
Sensitive, caring, compassionate, self analyzing ,self aware.. highly intelligent and well-spoken..
Hmmm. And you wonder why people perceive you as a threat...well.. my fellow introverts... not to worry just seek out people the same as you...
And you will have friends and love interest in no time... don't try to relate or lower yourself to the standards of those Neanderthals.. those family.. and pretentious.. knuckle draggers.. that go through life.. on a superficial Shallow Hal.. level.... they're about as deep as a kiddie pool.. that is half full...lol... hold your heads up high way up stick your chest out... don't even give them a Second Glance.... and before you know it they are going to be looking at you and thinking wow!!what do they got going on pretty impressive..yup... have confidence in your Superior intellect... they are the monkeys you. Are the monkey cleaner uppers..lol..ok.. that came out wrong.. you are the organ grinder..no.. that's not it either..hmmmm.. oh nevermind! you're all pretty smart you'll figure it out

Okay I got it figured out don't B the monkey cleaner uppers..noooo.. let the monkeys clean up their own poop..

Good luck Starry.

Maybe I expect too much of people. I presume that when I make it known to other's something they're saying or doing upsets or irritates me they will make a mental note and attempt to avoid a repeat, as I do. When in fact most approach the situation as a mouse in a maze... unfortunately even that may be too pretentious as most do not learn by trial and error as the mice do. I hear all too often that I am attractive and as long as knod

smile and rarely speak I'll get attention and asked out. The second I began to express my interest, thoughts and preferences men generally stop talking to me. I laughed at your monkey bit as more often then not I am the one called on to fix others mistakes, give guidance or pick up slack. I'm rarely if ever given credit for it and I know no one contacts me unless they need something. It's a bit disheartening to understand when people contact you it's not to check on your we'll being or invite you to a planned event, but to ask for a favor.

This was ment to go with the above comment that was prematurely posted by my thumb while typing lol.

No matter how hard life may treat you now, always believe in this saying ( there is a man for every woman, and a woman for every man) what's going on with you now is never a problem, is just that you haven't come across your own man. if you have he will love you for who you are no matter how you treat him. just don't give up

While its good to put some effort into fitting in
Its more important to put effort into make sure you do't get stuck where you don't want to be.
Finding where you fit can be a lonely task if you let it.
Better to learn to enjoy the looking till you find what you are looking for.

To find like minded, look where other people who share you interests go.

Meanwhile be grateful you don't fit in where you don't want to be.


Take some time to think about whether your irritation with others is about you or them
Then ask yourself what you can do to improve your circumstance

Either that or just start a thread like this to attract other misfits and see if any fit

One sure way of getting oneself irritated is to expect others to act as you think they should.

As everyone should know you should never think or say should

One sure way of getting oneself irritated is to expect others to act as you think the should.

As everyone should know you should never think or say should

If you someday find yourself owning more than three cats, then you can start worrying...until then, don't let it bother you...nothing wrong with being selective about who gets close to you.

When you find yourself in the position you are now in,
in life, Starryhawkwing, without family and friends
there is but one solution and that is to form your own
family and make new friends.

You must learn to be inviting.
One thing I have learned in life about people is that
when time is spent learning about them, there is always
to be found interesting and unexpected qualities.

I have loathed some people on sight, only to find out
later they had many redeeming facets to their personalities.

Takes time..effort..desire, that's about it.

Starry,
Never have expectation from people, be yourself, learn about yourself and accept yourself for who you are and move on.

I don't truly fit in anywhere but I can fit in anywhere.

People always tell me "I have never met anyone like you, ever." I always ask if that is a good thing or a bad thing and they all seem to say its a good thing, yet I remain alone.

I tend to treat people with respect ~ yet I don't get the same accord.
I give people understanding ~ yet I am often misunderstood.
I do not need to lie to others ~ yet I am often lied to.
I often cheer people up and make them laugh ~ yet nobody cares if I am sad.
I do things to show love, gratitude and honor ~ yet people give me shallow words.
I help and assist others readily ~ yet there is nobody I can turn to.

When it all boils down to the nitty-gritty, the only person I can honestly trust is myself. Trust is always broken by the other? It seems like a defect in me that makes me vulnerable and perhaps it is?

Try to remember...
Its always your life. Everybody and everything else are people/things that you have in your life. As an adult, you control the things in your life.

I choose to wait for that right match. The one that is like me. Waiting for her sucks but everytime I rush into something it bites me in the butt. Experience gives wisdom.

If you are not the most important thing in your life? Why not?
Without you, there is no 'your' life...
Trying to 'fit in' will cause you to play out someone else's impression of what "your life" is supposed to be. How can that be good for you?

Great... so for some odd reason I can read all these other threads no problem but when I go to read the comments on mine it crashes every time...