I can try that, but not sure if that will work. WOW! why does this have to be sooooooooooooo hard?????

Saying, "I love you" does not have to be a trying or stressful experience. As some other posters have mentioned, you'll know when it's true because you'll have DECIDED that it's true. You'll be expressing a commitment of sorts. But even though love is not, itself, an emotion, there is an emotional component to a loving relationship. It is natural to be a little bit nervous about telling somebody that you love them. If the fear is producing this kind of a reaction in you, though, then wait to say it.

I dated a girl for almost a year and never told her that I loved her. She had told me that she wanted to hear it first when her fiance proposed to her. I respected that and ultimately, it didn't matter that it hadn't been said because I expressed my love for her just as clearly through my actions as I could have done through words.

ephraimglass

Yes! I agree!! My bf has been working allot of hours lately and so I've been supporting him by letting him have space when he needs it, by not calling except to maybe leave a message to say hi, making sure that he's not neglecting his friends too, and offering to run erronds ect. to help if I can. So far, he hasn't had me do anything for him, but I have given him space. I know things like this are important to a man, so I know I am expressing my love for him through my patience and understanding.

Thanks for your advise. I do want so much to tell him how much he means to me. It is amazing just how much love I have for him allready! All I have to do is touch the top of his head, run my fingers down his hair, and feel a tremendous amount of love! I can just lay there in his arms, listen to his heart beat, and feel so whole and alive! I have never felt all of this before! I feel so extremely blessed! and I want him to know it!!

I did something sooooo stupid! and that was only 2 weeks into our relationship, after a few drinks and feeling a little tipsy, I told him I loved him. He hugged me, but didn't say it back. Then the very next day, he broke up with me, and it took me 3 weeks of patiently waiting before I heard from him again. He gave me another chance, and that's been 5 months ago. I'm still affraid to say these words, because of what happened before, he didn't say it back, and he ran away!

What if that happens again???????????????????????????

Well, given what you've said of your boyfriend's history, you might not be able to just come out and say it. If he has baggage concerning commitment or he's otherwise afraid to escalate the relationship, then you and he might have to invest some extra special effort so that he'll be comfortable with the idea of loving and being loved again.

Maybe say "I love being with you" and see what he says.

Sounds like you are in love and he doesn't want to commit. If he is really the one for you, then be patient. If you could live without him, start looking elsewhere.

After 5 months, he should have said it to you if he did love you. Good luck to you!!

I agree with that.. I do feel that now, there's been a part of him that is ready to say it, but is affraid too. He says things like "I love how good you are to me!" or "I love how much you care about me" He never used the word LOVE at all until a week or so ago..

so what does this mean??

he is only dating me, and I am meeting his family for thanksgiving, and he's also coming to over to visit my family again (he's allready met my family once b4) but this will be the 1st time I meet his family..

doesn't all this mean that he's committed to me? or am I reading too much into things?

we are soooooo connected when together! and he's very open and honest with me about his feelings, thoughts, and dreams..

just not the "L" word... this is all so confusing!!

Just ask him....it is a question that deserves an answer!!

what if it's too soon for him to besure about?? what if he feels rushed again?

how should I go about asking him to not make him feel pressured in anyway??

btw- thanks for your advise too!

he's allready saying things like this to me.. but is that the same as saying "I love you" ??

This entire conversation is the reason why some people hate the phrase "i love you". It makes things too complicated. There are very few statements you can make to someone else that would provoke this kind of deliberation and conversation. I wouldn't worry so much about SAYING it, just be sure you are DOING it.

If you don't know it...than it's not love. You'll know it's love when you feel total security and trust and respect and feel that he feels the same for you. Love is a mutual thing...sure you can love someone and have them not love you back, but being "in love" can only happen when you know they love you too...it's very hard to find and takes a while for it to hit you, but you'll KNOW and there won't be any wonder or uncomfortable feeling about when you should say it or if you're going to hear it in return. I hope that helps...I had it once.

I do think that he loves me, because of how he treats me.. I just think he's affraid to admit it to himself, and if that's the case, and I do say it, that could scare him off again!

this is what I'm affraid of anyway...

and what if it's still just infatuation??

but we both do so much for each other, and show so much appreciation for one another too.. isn't this what love's all about??

I think it sounds like you love each other, but aren't "in love". You do stuff for each other and appreciate...but do you have lots of fun and lots in common...or maybe just get along even though you don't have a lot in common? Plus, if you think it's going to scare him away, I wouldn't even worry about whether it's real or not...I'd just enjoy it and see where it goes and let him say it first because you know that it's not going to scare you away. And sometimes you love someone so much that you feel you have to say it; in that case, I'd just go ahead and say it, and if they were scared away...that's the WORST that could happen.

Ahhh, Starla, it sounds like love to me. Some people don't use the words as feely as others.

Email me if you want to talk. You have blocks that would not let me through.

Hugs, M

I think your trying to define love, which is a tricky thing to do.

Love has many contexts, for example:

I love tea and biscuits. (Rule Britannia!)
I love my sister.
I love kittens.
She is rubbish at tennis, the score is 40 love.

To add even more confusion, love can been easily confused with infatuation, lust or eating a large amount of chocolate.

I reckon, that the definition of love differs for everyone, and it would probably help you more if people would write their definition of love (some already have, and its interesting reading - thanks).

In short, a lot of people who have posted before me are correct, if you have to ask, then your not in love.

Ta,

~C

I had that "once in a lifetime" opportunity to know real love. From my experience, you just know...there is no magic moment or event that tells you. You feel it with every ounce of your body and soul and your heart knows that this person is the one that will love you for all time.

Unfortunately, my love passed away prematurely and unexpectedly almost 3 years ago. To those who believe, he visits me quite often and lets me know he is still with me.

When I was with him, I never questioned our love, my heart just knew it was something special. It was so easy for us to communicate about anything and everything. I knew he would always be there for me, without him having to promise that verbally...and he is still there for me. Hope this helps.

Confession: Never experienced Love....not sure I truly know the meaning of it!!....so many variables...

Personally, I think it cost too much..(emotionally)..
Please don't misinterpret: I'm not cynical about it..I just know me....
and I'm ok with it..
Best of luck to all of you in finding your "true-love"...as they say, there's a lid for every pot...)ok, I read that somewhere...

i have never been in love... i have loved some guys though... but never had the feelings for them that you would expect to have if you were in love... so i dont know how to say for sure if you are in love... i have come to believe that i am never actually going to experience that...

Tameka: I agree....I'm right there with ya girl..
Sometimes I feel it's overrated...but that's just me..