Can people become too single an selfish mainly cause of past relationships

Love makes the world go around

Let's hear what Bing and Rosemary had to say

Darn and I thought a lost t-rex running around in the core made the world go round?

And some can be single and happy.

Hope is out there then

I sometimes think that two people in a relationship should have their own places to live, get together whenever they want but also have alone time. There would be no young kids involved, so this might be better for older people who are a little set in their ways.

Yes, indeed. Could/would work great if both had similar needs of wanting to be together.
Wouldn't ever work for me. LAT relationship (Living Apart Together) would drive me up the effing wall. Having to say goodbye each time, having to get used to being along / dining alone/ sleeping alone every time one goes home again.
Would drive me insane. Not for me. I wouldn't be able to handle it.
I DO need my own time, my personal freedom. But I rather get and give that whilst living together. I want to sleep in his arms every night. I'd want our home instead of your home, my home.

There's also ppl who aren't too set in their ways per say, but are afraid to risk giving up everything (again), like their own (rental) home. That would be a consideration... Getting a (council) house isn't easy.
But I'd still rather take that risk than doing this LAT-relationship thing.

IMO no.
It's not the fault of past relationships for what you choose to do and who you choose to be now.

At best you can use them as a scapegoat for something you don't want to look at in your own personality.

Relationships don't perpetually victimize you unless you had no choice but to be in the relationship.

If you're an adult, you always have that choice.

You chose that person or people, you chose that relationship, you participated in it and helped shape what it was and what it did, how it worked and how it didn't.

The relationship didn't do anything to you.
At best it helped you become more of who you are, at worst you used it as a means to hide who you really are.

But you aren't a certain way now "because" of past relationships, like you were all innocent and they "changed" you into something against your will.

The word selfish denotes bad behavior on the part of an individual.

A person isn't behaving badly just because that person desires to be single.

I have no children, By choice and then I date a man who has kids. he asks me to go see his kid in a play. I say no. That is not interesting to me at all. I guess I'm selfish, but at least I'm honest.

Selfishness is a misnomer as selfishness is a value judgement based on the idea that if you do things for yourself it must be at the expense of others. Ayn Rands book the Virtue Of Selfishness helps clarify how rational self interest would exclude taking advantage of others for personal gain and that respecting oneself is the beginning of wisdom. Hope this helps as putting others before oneself often has horrific consequences just as when a person says " If you love me you will do ..." as if a person loved you they would not ask you to do anything you did not want to do...

I've seen people that appeared a little too happy

Damn...that's cold, Cati...you are my hero.

being single can be a selfish act? i thought it was only a choice

Actually if the children are quite young it is not healthy for them to get attached to someone who is not going to be around so keeping away from young children is best as they need stable and not revolving door men/women as they cannot handle rejection and disappearing adults in their life...

Hey how r u doing I'm oh k just bored

Sounds good , I would like to meet maybe make a baby or grab a bite to eat ? Orjust

I always thought that selfish was portrayed too often as only a negative

self preservation makes it necessary for us to think of ourselves, quite often

but as you said, not at the expense of others

Im not sure what 'too' single is. I only know one level of single.
People can definitely be 'too' selfish and their past experiences can influence how open they remain to thinking of others as well as themselves.

If this is considered selfish... I'm selfish, honest, and stubborn...