They married before i was ever born
thats all thre was to know
they'd live happily ever after
build the perfect home

eight days later i was born
my father held me tight
he looked into my eyes
and i drempt into the night

but as his grip began to loosen
i could feel him slip away
and little did i know
that this would be the day

not even one year of my life went by
and all i did was cry
my father grabbed me by my throat
he couldnt, but he tried

what was going through his head
i will never know
but he layed me down in my crib
and told my mom he had to go

by the time that i was two
i would never have guessed
that my father leaving
would rip the heart from my chest

and before i knew it
it became more rough
every other weekend
just wasnt enough

but he never calle dme
and he'd never smile
he promised he'd only be gone
for a little while

on the weekends when we saw him
he had more anger than was worth bearing
then his mother told him i wasnt his
and from that day he stopped caring

he took all his anger out on me
no matter what i did
he never did realize
i was only just a kid

a few bruises later
the cops came to my house
i stayed in my room
i was too scared to come out

they gave him a second chance
to prove he was a dad
they didnt see how many chances
he had already had

so they eventually let him go
and all he did was laugh
he had escaped the system again
without even a scratch

and then he looked at me
with that decieving evil grin
and i knew from that day on
it was only about to begin

by this time i was only three
and i had more scars than i could count
i had no p[ride and i had no joy
but i definatly had doubt

its probably hard to imagine
how hard it was to cope
living through everyday
crushed at every hope

but i became the person i am today
without a dad at all
and evertime i turned around
he was there to watch me fall

he pushed me off my bike one day
and shoved me to the ground
and then he looked me in the eyes
and dared to ask why i wasnt around

well im eighteen now
i havent seen my dad in a while
he didnt even call on my birthday
and yet somehow i still manage to smile

when i look at my scars in the mirror
all i see is hate
i didnt see even as a child
he was torturing my fate

yet everyday i manage to move on
and still continue to live
even though i cant face the man
that i refuse to forgive

but everyday i wish i had
just a little more affection
that maybe could replace the hole
of my fathers rejection.

aww im sorry , very good poem

thanks

So sorry for you. Letting your feelings out, is a start to be able to heal...I dont think he deserves your affection, or forgiveness...stay strong

your welcome

Well done.

i want to be a writer so badly

they say every artist must suffer..dont let the past stop you from achieving what you want in the future..i know i too was abused..take care

TOMBS...

actually i think that past is what gave me this talent.....i had no other way of expressing myself

the man was not worthy to be called father, or dad........

You will be a writer, because you already are a writer...........never ever give up a dream that comes from inside you.........pick up that pencil, keep the thoughts flowing, submit your writings.........and keep on going........

i beleve youre right i use to write alot when i was in my room for days as a child i think by going through what we have it gives us a better ability to convey our feelings to words and allow people to feel as we do..

Follow your dreams hun...you definately have the talent

thank you

Thank you for sharing this.

It's hard to move forward when your past has been filled with so much grief, but know that there are people out there who really do care about your well-being.

I'll be praying for you. Keep on posting! Your poems are always welcome here!

I never had to bear that, but keep it up man. There is one thing that can never be taken from you and that is hope. Keep following your dreams and don't ever look back. I know you'll suceed.

thank you guys

Very good write...

Sorry you had to go through this.
Be strong... Be a good person... Do not repeat the cycle of abuse in your life.

He should of been put behind bars along time ago.
Never ever feel this is your fault.

Strong emotions and know that no one can take the fire and drive you have from within. Find that acceptance through friends and mostly from your own self worth. Some of us are given parents with many problems, we learn from the mistakes, make an effort to never repeat them and know that the heartbreak has made you the strong person that you are today.

Keep writing and follow your dream. Anything is possible.

Very Sad and horrible.. but your writing is wonderful... kept me reading, even tho it is a sad thing to go through im sure.

HUGS

Hugs to you,,,

Follow your dreams,,,shine your soul,,, oh the beauty within so amazing,,,,,,, Welcome to the Family,,,