I was in a relationship for a long long time with this woman and she was extremely cold hearted and dominating. She loved to argue just about everything. She also had very serious jealousy issues even to the point I would want to spend time with our son and she freaked out on me cause I wasn't spending any time with her.

That was the way she was normally. No matter what I was doing, it had to be what she wanted to do and who cares about what I wanted. For example she would watch TV and if I was doing anything else I would get nagged till I watched TV with her. Same thing with going to bed. If she wanted to go to bed she would expect me to go to bed with her even if it was 8pm.

If I didn't comply with her standards then we would have an all night argument so, to avoid that I basically did what I was told so my son wouldn't have to listen to it all.

She would be pissed off one minute and singing to her music and dancing the next. She even admitted that when everyone else was miserable she was happy. The only reason I even stayed in the relationship was for my son till he got old enough to know what was wrong and understand why I wanted to leave. I needed to make sure he knew I wasn't leaving him.. Only her.

Now, or for the past three years I have been single and very to-myself, very antisocial and pretty much afraid to be in a relationship with anyone in fear that I would get stuck in the same situation I was in before.

The damage that she did was extremely deep and I'm not sure if I can recover from it. I mean every time I see a girl or like my friends have their girlfriends I see bits and pieces of her in them. I am tired of being alone but I don't know how to come out of my shell. Can anyone help me or am I a lost cause?

well we arent counselors here..... so I dont know what to tell ya

seek a therapist out. they will work on your issues with you.

You aren't a lost cause hun. You just have to make the choice to realize that not all women are the same. I know that it can be easier said than done.

I was married to an abusive man and went through kind of the same thing you are going through. You should make up your mind that you won't settle for less than you deserve and really get to know someone before getting serious. Try being friends and hanging out with no strings attached until you start feeling more comfortable. Your intuition and heart will let you know what's right...just don't let your fear talk to you louder than your gut. Hope this helped a little.

Just be who you want to be and enjoy your life. What's stopping you? Get busy with something, stretch yourself.

Build yourself up and make plans...take a vacation...start a new venture, take up a hobby.

Mingle.

Trust me, not all women are psycho. You've been burned pretty deeply and you need a professional to help you work out those fears and issues, but you are not a lost cause. There are a lot of women who have gone through the same thing with men as well (trust me on that one ). Its not your fault, but you need to find a way to stop dwelling on the past. You will get there, in time. Good luck.

Man up and move on...sounds harsh but it is really what you have to do. I too was involved with a controlling woman, I walked away and made the conscience effort to pick myself up and be happy in life. Be straight with the women you date as to what you want and dont want and let the relationship develop before you get in too deep. Take some time and make sure you know what you want and set your goals. Good luck!

Ohhh my god!!!! GET OVER IT!!!!! Look my x cheated on me for six months and then left his 9 month old and me so if i can get over it i assure you u can there is people out in the world that has been through more crap than you or me both. GET OVER IT crap happens if didnt well life would be hunky dory try to get on some anti deppresents sometimes they are needed and dont feel ashamed to to take half of society is on them my x screwed my head up but i am moving on with open arms you should never give up on love just learn from your mistakes ohh and also it takes two to tango.

I think 3 years is long enough to realize the situation isn't good. Getting on a dating site is a good 1st start. But you need to be careful with showing yourself so wide open as you did here.

Like others have said, try to go out and have fun in your life. Noone will come to you and solve all your inner fears. If you want happiness and not to be alone, it is totally up to you to do that. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Even if your next relationship does not work, at least you tried and that is more important than anything else. Good luck to you!

Yeah! Start pointing out your good qualities to yourself. Have confidence in being good to others cause this will be important to any good relationship.

Don't let anyone do the same things to you.> it was a lesson so learn from it and move on.

Don't let the relationship be "you". You are your own person and when you loose yourself in a relationship you have to spend time taking it back. I'm not saying you won't have thoughts but don't talk about them to others to often and seek out new "Life"... That was a Star Trek reference.

Laugh, Love, Dance, Play Music, Read, Play the Guitar... Do something.

btw: I was burned big time..... I am a believer in myself. It's been tough but I have a faith in myself as well as in god. Prayers work for me. Not sure about others but there is strength to be found.

Good Luck, NOW GO OUT AND ENJOY LIFE.

its called being a man and say no. you should have left when you had the chance. its good that you care for your son but you could have explained it

the people above me are givin good advice

My ex-husband was the same way. He broke my heart, but not my spirit. Get back to your life. You can't change the past but at least you're out-you're free. Enjoy your freedom. Don't continue to let the past control your future.

so u were datin' my X huh

LOL @ dcrdnk!

Thanks for your advice everyone. I sifted through everything that was mentioned and some of it I will definitely put into play. I want to put out a special thanks to UWannaBSpontaneous for hit email. He gave me some personal opinion pointers. Again, everyone thanks alot :)

Your FREE frm the Bi polar wench...GO have fun do the things you want to when you want to..Spend time with your son doing the things you guys want to do and most of all find the women you deserve!

Leaves..........wrong room, sorry.......sneaks out................squeak...squeak


hope nobody saw that....

i saw that noden