So I have a problem and I can't get it off my mind and need advice. A week or 2 ago I got a message from someone on myspace. It turned out we knew eachother in high school and she just moved to this area. So we talk on IM, then phone and decide that the next day after work we would meet up and kick it. Well, things moved VERY quick and we talked about alot and had alot in common and I felt it was gonna be an awesome friendship. I didn't look at her as the type to have a relationship with though, just be really great friends. It was nice because I have no one really and needed a good friend right now.

Well apparently she was REALLY into me and wanted to be with me. She kept asking me questions basically about would I be exclusive with her. I didn't know what to say. I mean it's a lose/lose question really. I couldn't tell her I don't wanna be with her, that I'm not attracted to her, then she's mad at me and I lose a friend. So i explain everything to her as simple as I can and she seems to understand ad take it as it is. Well we were supposed to hang out tonight and play some games or watch a movie or whatever and just hang out. Well I get a call from her and she tells me she can't deal with this and she's moving back to where she came from. She admits to me that she just can't deal with wanting to be around me 24/7 and she needs to hang with her old friends or whatever.

So now I have 2 options and I dunno what to do. I can either tell her that I really care about her as a good friend, and I am gonna be really sad to see her go. In this case. In this case, I feel like it's giving her the satisfaction of knowing she's hurting me by leaving. Then on the other hand though, if I don't talk to her again and just try to brush it off, I feel like an ass and like I'm proving her right, that I could care less. So anyway, I just dunno what to do.

she is seriously going to move away because you don't want to be with her? is it just me, or is that a little over the top? i would tell her she is being ridiculous...but i'm pretty blunt, so you may not want to listen to me....

Your doing the right thing, dont lead someone astray, and lie about your feelings.. Good friends come and go, there is a bright side, there is sure to be another around the corner. Up front is honest way to be. Good for you, don't give in.

just be honest with her and let the chips fall where they may..what else is there left to say ..it is what it is...

i agree it is a little over the top....maybe she is just using this as an excuse. still be honest with your feelings though. you cant do anything about it if she chooses to react so strongly. if she really means that much to you then it looks like you will have to swallow your pride and risk "giving her the satisfaction." honestly she isnt being a very good friend in return if she is trying to guilt you into being with her like that.

In all honesty I really feel bad because the main reason I can't see her as a romantic interest is because I'm not physically attracted to her. I mean it hurts to think I'm being so superficial. We had so much in common, and I can admit if she was more attractive, I could see having different feelings for her. Is it so wrong though? Is that really messed up that I can admit looks to matter to me? I don't want that to be the issue, but for some reason it is.

However in my defense, I can admit if it was reversed, and she was GORGEOUS, but dumb as hell, I wouldn't have any attraction to her romantically either.

you cant help how you feel. Chemistry is either there or it isnt.....

be glad you ARENT attracted to her. anything that moves that quickly and she wants you to be exclusive with her -bells should be going off that this isnt quite normal. i understand you are lonely but focus on how to meet more folks. hobbies-clubs of some sort. online stuff. anything that will expand your circle. do NOT
repeat do NOT rush into something two weeks in. which you didnt...and that is good.

no need to guilt yourself over being "shallow" you are where you are. get comfortable with who you are and dont worry about pleasing others at the expense of being who you are.

We buy things we like to look at..... We become a part of things we want to wake up with.....

Physical attraction does play into it at some point. It isn't superficial it's chemistry..

Don't worry about that part. I'm sure there is a range of attraction that you allow.

Maybe that's meant to be that way so you are freinds.

I saw a comment about moves to quickly....

Haven't many of us had some cool whirlwind romances and you can't slow them down.

If it moves fast and it seems okay I'd say go for it. You can blame a failure on "moving to fast" but really it can always be slowed down a little.... I've done it. ie had sex within a couple of weeks and then took a 2 week break to court and then back to sex when we really did like each other.... happened.