Topic: Guys help me out...
Sweet_Dreams's photo
Sun 11/11/07 09:23 PM
I don't know. When my dad met my mom, he told her he wasn't interested in kids (she was a single mother to my sister and I). She gave him a chance on it regardless, and they ended up getting married and my dad adopted us. So, while there's a chance of it being just a booty call, it could turn into something more serious.

But I do think you should ask him. I know in my situation of being a single mother, I would want to know too.

wouldee's photo
Sun 11/11/07 09:26 PM
why are you suddenly the victim?

You knew what you were up to before you went out with the guy.

You can't lay the booty call on the guy. You wanted to play with him.

Game on. smokin drinker bigsmile

adj4u's photo
Sun 11/11/07 09:34 PM
why must anyone

place blame anywhere

she did not place blame

she asked for thoughts

maybe the girl wants to have fun

thus answer the questions

and if the answer work out

have some fun

BornInTheUSA's photo
Sun 11/11/07 09:36 PM
HR,

One thing you should take away from all this is the way the people responded - the women were hopeful, the men decidedly thinking booty call. Aside from the obvious vote count, note that the men weren't waffling at all - and that makes me think he's not either, so perhaps you shouldn't either. If it's sex, call it sex and be honest with yourself (booty call? Call a spade a spade, please).

But also be honest with him - tell him you like me (if you do) but that you're not into a sex-only relationship (if you're not). He's been honest with you, but it's not what you want to hear. This might be the only way to save your friendship, otherwise I'd be surprised if the intimacy and the denials don't completely ruin it.

Be brave. Be honest. If you're inclined to let it be what it is, don't ask for more. If you don't want to scare him off, then go slowly and explain to him how much you child means to you, and if he's not interested or tries to laugh it off/weasel his way out of the equation, draw a line in the sand and walk away.

BornInTheUSA's photo
Sun 11/11/07 09:37 PM
Tell him you like HIM, not me (where did THAT come from??) laugh

no photo
Sun 11/11/07 09:39 PM

Trust your instinct. Better to make up in your mind now where you stand with him than to keep thinking it has a future.

Good luck!flowerforyou

adj4u's photo
Sun 11/11/07 09:41 PM
born you obviously

try to speak for those that

have not given you permission to do so

no where did i say it was a booty call

i suggested she evaluate the situation

and act accordingly

and from this i am not wavering

no photo
Sun 11/11/07 09:53 PM
Well, I don't date guys with kids. Period. And that will never change. So it depends on how much integrity he has to admit what he really wants. I'd ask him and if the answer isn't what you want to hear, move on....

adj4u's photo
Sun 11/11/07 10:01 PM
he already did

he is not leading her on

but that does not mean

he is not changing his mind

----------
well, I don't date guys with kids. Period.
And that will never change.

does that mean when you have a child you will dump the father

nvrsaynvr's photo
Sun 11/11/07 10:07 PM
Holly....just be careful and don't end up with a broken brokenheart flowerforyou

BornInTheUSA's photo
Mon 11/12/07 03:45 AM
adj4u - actually I wasn't speaking to you at all; I was responding to the original poster who asked:

"Basically what I want to know, do you think it's possible this guy may be changing his mind? Or am I a victim of a booty call? lol"

And I gave her my opinion, which is of course only my opinion. Yet I defend my right to have one as much as I defend your right to express yours to her as well.

But I do not need your permission to speak. This is not Fox news.

LLH5's photo
Mon 11/12/07 05:31 AM
With the little information I have. My guess is, he's not looking for a long term relationship, just a long night of passion.

no photo
Mon 11/12/07 05:53 AM
basically the way I see it is he already expressed how he feels. In this case, he's not interested in kids. This could be a sign, although not obvious, that he isn't interested in a real relationship with you and is stating that. Anything that happens outside that is just having fun and messing around. If you really wanna know more, than ask him straight out where he wants to go with it. If he's not interested in a relationship, then it's up to you to decide how to proceed from then on. If you're really looking for a solid relationship, then I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to find a man with the qualities you want, including accepting your child as a part of your life and possibly his in future.

The way I personally see it with children involved is be upfront with any potential mate as far as having a child. However, for the child's sake especially, you shouldn't bring different men around the child until you're sure there is a strong bond and possible future. If you really connect with the person, then introduce him to your child and see how they react to eachother.

I personally just recently had a similar experience to this. I really love children however. I see it like this. When I meet the child, it's a major turn on if the child is well behaved and well balanced, because it shows the mother is good at being a parent and teaching their child how to behave. If the child is a spoiled brat, that's a major turn off. Men don't want a relationship with a mother who can't control her child.

Well anyway hope I answered your question and gave you some extra advise and knowledge.

oldsage's photo
Mon 11/12/07 06:05 AM
Biggest constant in the world, PEOPLE CHANGE.
He might change his mind, you might change yours.
Go slow, take your time, talk & speak your mind.
You need to earn eachother & if it doesn't work out.
You had fun & keep the friendship.

dean6121's photo
Mon 11/12/07 06:22 AM
FIRST MISTAKE DATEING SOMEONE FROM WORK...

ladynluv2be's photo
Mon 11/12/07 06:23 AM
I think this all comes down to communication, things change from time to time in a relationship....... for the better we hope..... but if we do not talk to each other about what is on our minds we can not make the right decisions for all involved. If a relationship is going to work you have to be honest and open about everything and if there is a relationship the other will not be mad about talking about if he is changing his mind maybe. and if he has not changed his mind it is better to know what kind of relationship you have.

longhairbiker's photo
Mon 11/12/07 06:47 AM
How come I don't get booty calls? Hang on its my celly gotta answer dat. Hey baby, yeh tonite, sure I can.........

Nickinolosers's photo
Mon 11/12/07 06:49 AM
Damn Biker you weren't supposed to tell anyone laugh

longhairbiker's photo
Mon 11/12/07 06:56 AM
Ha ha ha. Good one.

no photo
Mon 11/12/07 07:23 AM
Hi HollyReneeflowerforyou

I'll be blunt about this. Remember, I'm not judging here, just throwing my two cents into the mix:

He's most definitely using you as a "booty call". But the worst thing about it is--you seem to be letting him.

With a situation like that, there's no way in the world he's going to commit to you. And frankly, why should he? He's getting exactly what he's looking for.

Honestly? If I were you, I'd tell him to hit the bricks. You seem like a nice person, someone who deserves better, and CAN do better than this. This guy seems to be a lost cause as far as a relationship goes.

As I said before, just throwing my two cents into the mix.