I am a 22 year old college student who will be graduating with a bachelors degree in May 2017. While the college years are known to be the wildest times of your life filled with sex, parties, getting drunk and high and more sex - this is not at all how my college years turned out.

I am a virgin- I've never done anything sexual in fact I've actually never been in any type of relationship. Growing up I never made a commitment to stay a virgin it just happened. Most people tell me how great of an accomplishment this is. Don't get me wrong I understand the benefits however I am embarrassed at the fact that I am a 22 year old grown adult and have not been in any relationship. This takes a huge blow at my self esteem as I am always questioning what is so wrong with me that I can't find a guy... ANY GUY that wants my attention. This at times has cause me to feel depressed. I began to question my body, my looks, my personality... All in an effort to figure out why I am alone and still a virgin. :(

I recently find out that my parents are so planning on buying me a purity ring for my Christmas present! What kind of gift is that? I'm not a 12 year old girl who can be bribed into staying away from boys. I'm a women whose capable of making her own decisions and who is frankly sexually frustrated. I do not think its there place to make this type of decisions for me. If or when my relationship with God grows and I decide that I want a purity ring I will do so myself. Is this selfish of me!?

So, you're going to college..good.
You are unattached while you school..still good.
You're a virgin..all good.

You are not into jewelry..what's the beef?

Don't stress about it, I'm 23 years old and I've tried dating and I'm in college, but what do you know I'm still a virgin. and you know what? its OK, it's freaking OK, college isn't about partying and sex and drugs and all that stuff you wrote, you been watching to many social movies and networks. and don't get me wrong, that stuff does happen at some colleges, but not in a crazy manner. college is about bettering yourself to have a better future and life style that you want to enjoy and have a awesome job. that's why we go to college, for a better life. so don't sweat over and worry about being a virgin , like i said, I'm still one and never felt better.

There is no "beef".

Particularly tha last paragraph? Should my parent be buying me an expensive purity ring? Without my knowledge. I don't even know if that's what I want to do

NO. Absolutely not!!! A present is supposed to be something you like, and clearly you don't, it even hurts and upsets you. So let your parents know you do not want such a ring.
I don't know the relationship you have with your parents, but if it's good and you can talk about more intimate things, tell them how you feel. You don't have to give details. You can simply say that you feel awkward/embarrassed about never having had a relationship and that such a ring would only make that feeling stronger. That way you don't have to mention sexual frustration, or that you actually wanted to have had sex.

As for the rest, don't worry too much about it. It's better that you remained a virgin because you didn't have a relationship / sex partner than having gotten involved in seedy situations just to have sex and/or lose your virginity. That way you would definitely have lost your self-respect, and trust me, such intermezzos usually don't give you what you crave anyways. Often they only make you feel cheap, unfulfilled, disappointed, and chances are it will make you feel (even more) rejected and unattractive.
I understand your feelings of insecurity etc., but especially because you already have those feelings, it's better to wait for someone nice who will treat you like a goddess in bed. At least then you're going to feel real good about yourself and sex. If you go for a no-strings-attached just to have sex, I can almost guarantee you will not feel good afterwards at all, which will add to your feelings of insecurity about it all.

As for the frustration ... there's plenty of great toys for women that can give a girl a helluva lot of pleasure, often more than most one-night-stands...
Good luck

So what if they buy it? Do what every frickin college student does when mom and dad say "Now dont you be drinking too much my sweet angel"..."Sure thing mom and dad"....and later that night they're drunker than Cooter Brown.
Accept the ring with an "aw thanks".....and chunk it in the bottom of your jewelry box or whatever if it ain't your thing and go sling leg all over campus if you want to....or don't, if you don't want to.

Most if not all people in this world like to think that if everyone else lived to their standards the world would be a better place.

This is one of the hazards you will have to learn to navigate through life.

Just remember you will have the same tendency to some degree so remember how much you disliked being on the receiving end, when in the future you deal with your parents and others.

What ever decisions you make regarding your virginity I hope you make for your sake and not out of spite or rebellion. Of course nuthin wrong with a little rebellion

I am not seeing a spirtual or jewelry issue here.

I see, (possibly extreme) control issues here. As you said.. you are 22 yrs old.

Get out & cut ALL those appron strings, including money. And sharing personal information.

If you can't (yet), then you will HAVE to tell them " I love you, but I am NOT a reflection of you. I am an adult & my own person. "

Hope this helps. Good luck.

i dont find somethin wrong with it. as long as u happy with ur life. i myself single and virgin till 23/24?lol it depends on how u see ur life and ur commitment i guess. why rushin to find a guy if the guy is not the right one? the right guy will come eventually.. God will send him:)lol

Nothing wrong with being a Virgin. As for the ring let them know it is not something you really won't as a gift. I am 54 yrs never been on a date or with a woman until I was 19 and in the Marine Corps. Most guys your age only won't one thing and that is not marriage. Your not missing anything but disappointment.

As you grow up, and associate with others, you will find most people are not honorable, which is contrary to what you were taught, and say one thing but do another. You are too wound up on being honest.

Just ask for a nice gold purity ring like this



Say thank you and then ignore the meaning. Do whatever you want to as you're old enough. But let your parents be happy too.

If you don't like the ring then don't wear it. Later on trade it in for something you do want. Then tell your parents you lost the ring.

Oh the virgin thing. Not a problem at your age. You will be happy about it later. Although, I used to work with a 47 year old woman virgin. That was a problem. But, you still have some time.

I hope you get to realize that being a virgin is not a burden but something to be proud of in this day and age. Please don't feel pressured to give it away just because you've reached a certain age. If the gift makes you feel trapped in any way then discuss this with your folkes, you will probably realize you were getting anxious and worked up for nothing ☺

I agree with everything samantharob says.

I see you say you self esteem has taken a big hit!
Let me re-assure you, its normal, You have nothing to worry about. I mean there are men and women in their 30's and 40's who are still virgins too!

Try NOT to question yourself as that is a never ending circle you don't ever want to get into. Remind yourself about everything that makes you YOU.
So you're not simply another sheep moving with the herd.

Just be yourself, Let love or a sexual relationship find you, and when it does you will be glad you saved yourself for that person rather than simply having had sex for the reason of being de-flowered and no longer a virgin.

With the case of the purity ring and your parents...
Just be honest with them.

For me it would be something like....
Thank you for offering to buy me XYZ as a present, its not something I would buy really.

Just now I would more appreciate $50-$200 so that I can have small break (weekend away) out in/on the countryside/beach/bar/leisure park/wherever.
Or put it towards my new car...

Your still young, I was a virgin until I was 29, at which time I just jumped into bed with the first willing girl I found. I did that twice and was so disappointed by the experiences that I haven't been with anyone since. It's now been over ten years from the last time I had sex and I don't miss it at all. Most people I know that find this out think I'm ether crazy or lying and now that I'm in my forties I really don't care what people think anymore how ever I do feel insulted when I hear women say that ALL men just want sex. I don't like being lumped in with a group of people that let sexual desire dictate their actions.

As far as I'm concerned your not missing out on anything special and unless your hell bent on having kids. Even then you should take time and find someone that will be there for you that you can trust and not someone that is going to tell you what they think you want to hear and then disappear at the drop of a hat.