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| Topic: What Makes You Stay Faithful To Your Mate? | |
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You stay faithful to your mate wen dating or relationship (1) when there is trust (2) when there is love (3) when dere is understanding
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You stay faithful to your mate wen dating or relationship (1) when there is trust (2) when there is love (3) when dere is understanding
I respect that these qualities may halp keep YOU faithful, but I know of many incidents where there was trust , understanding and one partner still cheated. 
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Well everyone has very strong ideas about what makes a person cheat. .... But what makes you stay faithful to your mate, through the times that you find them "unlikeable"... through the times when you arent feeling "magic" in the relationship etc If you've never succeeded at being faithful before, maybe you can refer to the people you know who have 
character and integrity,, strong conscience to do what I say I will do and a strong value of treating others as I expect to be treated plus, my memory sucks too much to be a liar, which all cheaters are by definiton |
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Well everyone has very strong ideas about what makes a person cheat. .... But what makes you stay faithful to your mate, through the times that you find them "unlikeable"... through the times when you arent feeling "magic" in the relationship etc If you've never succeeded at being faithful before, maybe you can refer to the people you know who have
character and integrity,, strong conscience to do what I say I will do and a strong value of treating others as I expect to be treated plus, my memory sucks too much to be a liar, which all cheaters are by definiton Most of the respondents in this thread agree with you MsH.
Many uderstand that it takes belief in something even bigger than your union to remain faithful 
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In my mind its simple lol. Good old fashioned love... when u whole heartly love someone u would never hurt them and if you do then move on and still find your love cause they clearly wasnt
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In my mind its simple lol. Good old fashioned love... when u whole heartly love someone u would never hurt them and if you do then move on and still find your love cause they clearly wasnt
The challenge with that love theory is that most of the people who have cheated, claim to love their partner . Maybe most of us dont know what real love is ... |
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Reciprocal love, and because it's not the right thing to do. Doesn't compute with my norms & values when I love someone and know he loves me.
He does have to keep me happy between the sheets, or it will become more tempting, but even then it will take a helluva lot to get me to cheat. I think I'd sooner end the relationship than cheat. Might not be the easy road, but at least it's honest and fair. |
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Reciprocal love, and because it's not the right thing to do. Doesn't compute with my norms & values when I love someone and know he loves me. He does have to keep me happy between the sheets, or it will become more tempting, but even then it will take a helluva lot to get me to cheat. I think I'd sooner end the relationship than cheat. Might not be the easy road, but at least it's honest and fair. Like many of the respondents here, your motivation are your inner values and belief on what love is :) |
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.... But what makes you stay faithful to your mate, through the times that you find them "unlikeable"... through the times when you arent feeling "magic" in the relationship etc If I cheat on them I am cheating on me Do you care to elaborate Simplycomplicated? Oh Peggy its getting complicated now :-) We all play a part in creating our experience in this world If I cheat on someone, I have given them reason not to trust me. So that is going to dilute the sense of trust in the relationship. As I value trust both in the giving and the receiving. I would have therefore betrayed and devalued my relationship not only with my partner but with myself as well. |
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.... But what makes you stay faithful to your mate, through the times that you find them "unlikeable"... through the times when you arent feeling "magic" in the relationship etc If I cheat on them I am cheating on me Do you care to elaborate Simplycomplicated? Oh Peggy its getting complicated now :-) We all play a part in creating our experience in this world If I cheat on someone, I have given them reason not to trust me. So that is going to dilute the sense of trust in the relationship. As I value trust both in the giving and the receiving. I would have therefore betrayed and devalued my relationship not only with my partner but with myself as well. Interesting way of looking at it :) Sounds like you are adhering to a hybrid between the golden rule and the laws of karma
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.... But what makes you stay faithful to your mate, through the times that you find them "unlikeable"... through the times when you arent feeling "magic" in the relationship etc If I cheat on them I am cheating on me Do you care to elaborate Simplycomplicated? Oh Peggy its getting complicated now :-) We all play a part in creating our experience in this world If I cheat on someone, I have given them reason not to trust me. So that is going to dilute the sense of trust in the relationship. As I value trust both in the giving and the receiving. I would have therefore betrayed and devalued my relationship not only with my partner but with myself as well. Interesting way of looking at it :) Sounds like you are adhering to a hybrid between the golden rule and the laws of karma or simply predicting consequences. a skill us humans aren't real good at |
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.... But what makes you stay faithful to your mate, through the times that you find them "unlikeable"... through the times when you arent feeling "magic" in the relationship etc If I cheat on them I am cheating on me Do you care to elaborate Simplycomplicated? Oh Peggy its getting complicated now :-) We all play a part in creating our experience in this world If I cheat on someone, I have given them reason not to trust me. So that is going to dilute the sense of trust in the relationship. As I value trust both in the giving and the receiving. I would have therefore betrayed and devalued my relationship not only with my partner but with myself as well. Interesting way of looking at it :) Sounds like you are adhering to a hybrid between the golden rule and the laws of karma or simply predicting consequences. a skill us humans aren't real good at Consideration of consequences to EVERYONE involved is a pre-requirement of consequence-prediction. I fear that we haven't reached that stage in the evolutionary cycle yet Simplycomplicated 
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Time Lots and Lots of Quality time. ur never too old to go on a date to a bowling alley
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Time Lots and Lots of Quality time. ur never too old to go on a date to a bowling alley I love couples who continue to date even after 20 years together. Im not sure how much it would keep people faithful in general, but its something I would want with my mate for sure :) |
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Ok I agree with
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It comes down to a few simple reasons to keep it faithful. I've been on both sides of the fence, and figured it out. We all make mistakes.
In a relationship, that is one mistake that will sink your ship forever. First is keep thinking, what is that attracted you to that person in the first place? Keeping that in the back of your head will keep the fire alive. Second, don't get caught up in the mundane ways of life, You need to keep that spark. Once you get wet, spark is gone forever. Third, commitment. Without commitment, the first 2 above is meaningless. When you see both yourselves just doing the daily routine, you really need to spark it up a bit. Go do the things you used to love doing together but stopped doing. Once that happens, the fire gets hotter again if you know what I mean and you both once again into each other physically and emotionally. You both have to work at it. If one of you crosses that bridge. "Like a crumpled photograph of memory, it can never be perfect again" (excerpt) Keep that in the back of your head and hope your partner does too, work at it, he/she sees you trying to keep it alive, it will never be a one sided struggle. |
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Ok I agree with
welcome to mingle! 
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It comes down to a few simple reasons to keep it faithful. I've been on both sides of the fence, and figured it out. We all make mistakes. In a relationship, that is one mistake that will sink your ship forever. First is keep thinking, what is that attracted you to that person in the first place? Keeping that in the back of your head will keep the fire alive. Second, don't get caught up in the mundane ways of life, You need to keep that spark. Once you get wet, spark is gone forever. Third, commitment. Without commitment, the first 2 above is meaningless. When you see both yourselves just doing the daily routine, you really need to spark it up a bit. Go do the things you used to love doing together but stopped doing. Once that happens, the fire gets hotter again if you know what I mean and you both once again into each other physically and emotionally. You both have to work at it. If one of you crosses that bridge. "Like a crumpled photograph of memory, it can never be perfect again" (excerpt) Keep that in the back of your head and hope your partner does too, work at it, he/she sees you trying to keep it alive, it will never be a one sided struggle. Actually all your suggestions here sound like amazing advice for maintaining a fulfiling relationship on the whole. But I know it wont work to keep some people faithful. Couples go through things like miscarriages and death of parents and dire financial challenges which sometimes takes talks of dating and passion off the table for a while or even thoughts of love. During times like that, if someone isnt committed to a higher principle , it makes it so easy to justify cheating on one's mate, But I can see your advice as integral to maitaining a strong connection with your mate
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During times like that, if someone isnt committed to a higher principle , it makes it so easy to justify cheating on one's mate, But I can see your advice as integral to maitaining a strong connection with your mate
You hit the nail on the head. For myself personally my higher principle is my faith. People need to have some kind of faith in their life. Build upon what you have. Then when the time comes for troubles like you mentioned, a solid foundation in a relationship, a little faith and lots of friends. There will always be those weak people in our lives. But usually the weak find the weaker so they feel stronger. Only the strong survive the turmoils of life. In order to survive the strongest storms, you must have a solid anchor. Without that, we all just float away. |
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During times like that, if someone isnt committed to a higher principle , it makes it so easy to justify cheating on one's mate, But I can see your advice as integral to maitaining a strong connection with your mate
You hit the nail on the head. For myself personally my higher principle is my faith. People need to have some kind of faith in their life. Build upon what you have. Then when the time comes for troubles like you mentioned, a solid foundation in a relationship, a little faith and lots of friends. There will always be those weak people in our lives. But usually the weak find the weaker so they feel stronger. Only the strong survive the turmoils of life. In order to survive the strongest storms, you must have a solid anchor. Without that, we all just float away. Couldnt have said it better myself |
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