Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: What Makes You Stay Faithful To Your Mate?
peggy122 Joined Sun 12/27/15 Posts: 6525	Fri 05/27/16 07:07 AM Edited by peggy122 on Fri 05/27/16 07:08 AM
When promises and vows are made it's more than just a guilty conscience that keeps you from cheating. The moment you feel a twinge of lust or longing for someone else you need to reign in your thoughts. Condition yourself to dwell on the love you have and share with your mate. If you succumb to breaking your promises you not only hurt the one you love but you inflict scars on your own self-worth. Before you take that step towards deception be sure to do everything possible to save the relationship you have now. If that's not possible then do the honorable thing, the last respectful thing to do: End that relationship before you start another. Otherwise, it will haunt you forever. You underlined a very important point MsLouiseCher. Infidelity seldom happens overnight. The thoughts and habits tend to build over time. I like that you encourage us to break off the thought pattern from the onset.

wainaing Joined Sun 05/29/16 Posts: 11	Sun 05/29/16 04:24 AM
concentrates on your moral codes

peggy122 Joined Sun 12/27/15 Posts: 6525	Sun 05/29/16 06:49 AM
concentrates on your moral codes I really believe that helps. Sounds good wainaing.Welcome to the forum!

hardwick25 Joined Sat 05/28/16 Posts: 6	Sun 05/29/16 01:39 PM
morals are THE MOST important binder in a realationship....without them...it cant exist but as a lie to ones self

peggy122 Joined Sun 12/27/15 Posts: 6525	Sun 05/29/16 04:33 PM
morals are THE MOST important binder in a realationship....without them...it cant exist but as a lie to ones self I agree with you Hardwick. I am really starting to think that we have to commit to principle just as much as we commit to our mate.

no1phD Joined Tue 01/07/14 Posts: 27442	Sun 05/29/16 04:45 PM
Umm ..I am going with great sex yup .. final answer..lol

peggy122 Joined Sun 12/27/15 Posts: 6525	Sun 05/29/16 04:57 PM
Umm ..I am going with great sex yup .. final answer..lol Has that helped to keep you faithful Doc?

no1phD Joined Tue 01/07/14 Posts: 27442	Sun 05/29/16 05:02 PM
Umm ..I am going with great sex yup .. final answer..lol Has that helped to keep you faithful Doc? .yes... but eventually I wear them out...lmao

peggy122 Joined Sun 12/27/15 Posts: 6525	Sun 05/29/16 05:30 PM
Umm ..I am going with great sex yup .. final answer..lol Has that helped to keep you faithful Doc? .yes... but eventually I wear them out...lmao I'll take your word for it

PacificStar48 Joined Tue 10/02/07 Posts: 13764	Sun 05/29/16 05:48 PM Edited by PacificStar48 on Sun 05/29/16 05:58 PM
Well everyone has very strong ideas about what makes a person cheat. .... But what makes you stay faithful to your mate, through the times that you find them "unlikeable"... through the times when you arent feeling "magic" in the relationship etc If you've never succeeded at being faithful before, maybe you can refer to the people you know who have To me being faithful has ALWAYS been about MY SELF RESPECT. I could not respect myself if I cheated on anyone or stayed with someone who cheated on me. And I truly could not set myself out there as a Mother, lead by example, if I cheated. I surely would not shame my children that way. Cheating Always comes down to a conscious choice to cheat . A choice I could not justify. EVER. If I have a partner that cheats then I feel the promises I make when I marry to be irretrievably broken. All bets and vows are off. That person has become not worth one more minute of my emotion or time. No do overs, No I am sorry's, and no forgiveness. He is dead as far as I am concerned; cheating being marital suicide. I can not always control how others act. even a partner, but I ALWAYS have at least two choices in a relationship; 1) How I Act and 2) How I Re-act. I consider someone who cheats to be making shameful life threatening behavior that is abusive. I value my health and safety so my reaction would be to leave at the very earliest moment. Since my custody of my children would never be and issue and possessions can always be replaced that would be a very brief period that I would be out the door.

no1phD Joined Tue 01/07/14 Posts: 27442	Sun 05/29/16 06:15 PM
Umm ..I am going with great sex yup .. final answer..lol Has that helped to keep you faithful Doc? .yes... but eventually I wear them out...lmao I'll take your word for it ..well..... you will have to! . I have not finished wearing out the one I'm with yet....lol..... the lineup can start behind you..lol.jk..wink

Annierooroo Joined Mon 10/20/14 Posts: 12552	Sun 05/29/16 06:27 PM
I'm like a faithful old dog but crap on my once and I bite. There will be no second chances

peggy122 Joined Sun 12/27/15 Posts: 6525	Sun 05/29/16 06:41 PM
Umm ..I am going with great sex yup .. final answer..lol Has that helped to keep you faithful Doc? .yes... but eventually I wear them out...lmao I'll take your word for it ..well..... you will have to! . I have not finished wearing out the one I'm with yet....lol..... the lineup can start behind you..lol.jk..wink Lucky me

peggy122 Joined Sun 12/27/15 Posts: 6525	Sun 05/29/16 06:46 PM
Well everyone has very strong ideas about what makes a person cheat. .... But what makes you stay faithful to your mate, through the times that you find them "unlikeable"... through the times when you arent feeling "magic" in the relationship etc If you've never succeeded at being faithful before, maybe you can refer to the people you know who have To me being faithful has ALWAYS been about MY SELF RESPECT. I could not respect myself if I cheated on anyone or stayed with someone who cheated on me. And I truly could not set myself out there as a Mother, lead by example, if I cheated. I surely would not shame my children that way. Cheating Always comes down to a conscious choice to cheat . A choice I could not justify. EVER. If I have a partner that cheats then I feel the promises I make when I marry to be irretrievably broken. All bets and vows are off. That person has become not worth one more minute of my emotion or time. No do overs, No I am sorry's, and no forgiveness. He is dead as far as I am concerned; cheating being marital suicide. I can not always control how others act. even a partner, but I ALWAYS have at least two choices in a relationship; 1) How I Act and 2) How I Re-act. I consider someone who cheats to be making shameful life threatening behavior that is abusive. I value my health and safety so my reaction would be to leave at the very earliest moment. Since my custody of my children would never be and issue and possessions can always be replaced that would be a very brief period that I would be out the door. Alot of people in this thread are following a similar trend of thought , which is that their commitment is firstly to a higher principle that transcends their partner. In your case, that principle is self-respect P-Star

peggy122 Joined Sun 12/27/15 Posts: 6525	Sun 05/29/16 06:48 PM
I'm like a faithful old dog but crap on my once and I bite. There will be no second chances Totally understandable Annie , but what keeps YOU faithful?

Annierooroo Joined Mon 10/20/14 Posts: 12552	Sun 05/29/16 07:18 PM Edited by Annierooroo on Sun 05/29/16 07:18 PM
Morals Trust. Love I am just like that If I'm with someone I am faithful. Part of who I am. I am not the dependant type or the controlling. I don't stalk you. I guess it's the role models I have had in my life. They just stayed together and worked it out.

peggy122 Joined Sun 12/27/15 Posts: 6525	Sun 05/29/16 07:25 PM
Morals Trust. Love I am just like that If I'm with someone I am faithful. Part of who I am. I am not the dependant type or the controlling. I don't stalk you. I guess it's the role models I have had in my life. They just stayed together and worked it out. I think a few people here said that faithfulness was part of their pesonality as well. Apart from morals which you mentioned, I do wonder if some people are more inclined personality-wise to be faithful. For some its a daily challenge, and others wouldn't even entertain the thought of it. Or maybe some just have stronger morals in that are. Im not quite sure

adil charmingboy Joined Sun 05/29/16 Posts: 5	Sun 05/29/16 07:54 PM
Ill say,,the thing that makes you stay faithful is how you accept,love,trust,and appreciate eachother.

Twintidbits24 Joined Tue 07/28/15 Posts: 825	Sun 05/29/16 11:22 PM
Well everyone has very strong ideas about what makes a person cheat. .... But what makes you stay faithful to your mate, through the times that you find them "unlikeable"... through the times when you arent feeling "magic" in the relationship etc If you've never succeeded at being faithful before, maybe you can refer to the people you know who have If you found the right person who loved you as much as you loved them, you would not want to hurt them. Cheating hurts the other person. I was lucky to have had a wonderful marriage. Lots of financial ups and downs. But we worked as a team to get us back on track. As the saying goes.. there is no "I" in team. We both loved and adored each other. It never crossed my mind to want someone else... I hope it was the same for him. So, the answer what made us both stayed faithful to each other, the answer is love. Very Well Said...I Second The Motion..

peggy122 Joined Sun 12/27/15 Posts: 6525	Mon 05/30/16 04:59 AM
Ill say,,the thing that makes you stay faithful is how you accept,love,trust,and appreciate eachother. The only concern I have about your theory, is that your faithfulness depends on the lovable actions of the other person. But what if they are not being lovable, does that then give you an excuse to cheat?