well...dang leave it down...tired of getting my a** wet

get a urinal.
problem solved.

1.) How does she express herself? If it's "I am just a regluar gril who is lokking for a guy who wll take cre of me and lvoe me for the reest of myy lfie," that's a red flag. I have dated dozens of cute airheads in the past, and have no intention of doing that again.

2.) Does she have a sense of humor? A surprisingly large percentage don't seem to have one at all. You can't always tell, though, if the profile consists of 11 words.

3.) If the profile consists of 11 words, that tells me she's either too lazy or too uncommitted to the idea of actually meeting someone, to bother writing 3 sentences about herself.

4.) If her profile pic contains more than one person, and she doesn't bother to reveal which one she is, that's a red flag.

5.) If she is looking for marriage, that's no good. I'm allergic.

6.) If the profile is completely blank and just says, "Anything you want to know, you'll have to ask," I'm not going to bother to ask. See #3 above.

7.) If she says anything about being creative -- involved in music or art or photography or something that actually involves using her brain -- that's a HUGE plus.

8.) If she's literate, if she reads, if she has awareness of the world around her, that's a HUGE plus. If I mention Castro, and she thinks I'm talking about The Friendly Ghost, that's no good.

9.) If she's 897,000 miles away or more, that means she will talk to me. I don't know if I should score that as a good thing or a bad thing.

But most of the profiles I've read -- and I've read a lot since the Mutual Match started -- are hopelessly banal; shallow and empty to the point of uselessness. With most of them, finding out their shoe size would give me greater insight than anything they bothered to put in their profiles....

....and that's not everybody, but it is the majority....

wow I think I need to do a profile update after reading all those comments.........I deleted mine orginal one and put in a smaller one but see I do need to work on it.

shot Lex!
that was the

theemachine #3 on my list

The first thing I look at is the area that says whether they smoke or drink. I would prefer (if seeking someone for a relationship) that they do neither... usually, I skip right passed the smokers and drinkers.

I'm not looking to be somebody's daddy, so if they have kids at home, or kids in the picture... see ya later... its not my job to raise somebody else's rug rats... so if it says... "Yes, I have kids and they live at home"... see ya' later... been there and done that... put 5 ste kids through college, and I've paid my dues to other people's kids... time to enjoy life... and I don't want any kids either... so, if they say "I want kids"... "see ya later..."

LOL

(you asked, so I'm-a tellin'... LOL)

Also, if they can't spell, or can't take five minutes to write something decent, I skip right passed... I figure that is exactly how they will write to me in messages her, or in e-mails... the "one=word-wonder" types... if you see my profile, or most any post here... I have more than one word to add... sometimes several... often times more than several.. so I look for someone that is the same...

I also pay attention to the quality of photo the person puts as their default picture... if you really want to meet people, in my opinion, then don't put a crappy, grainy, blurry picture of yourself on your profile... I think that says a lot about self esteem... if you don't think any better of yourself thatn to advertise a little with a crappy picture... must not feel very good about yourself overall... in my opinion... and don't even bother contacting me if you don't have a picture at all... it is just too damn easy to have someone with a digital camera snap a photo of you these days... you have a computer, you have Internet access... but then you want me to believe that you want to date faceless people like yourself?... that is what you are saying to me if you have no picture... I think being anonymous is fine, and there is a place for it... but if you want to send messages, and get any replies from me, you gotta have a picture on here... or just don't bother...

I don't remember what all the choices were for the "Looking for ____ for ____" section, but if the person is just looking for someone for dating, I pass them by... for whatever reason, I figure they are just shopping the meat market for a one-night stand, and that's not what I'm about... I center in on the women who are "Looking for a man for a relationship"... because that is my motivation... I also run like hell from the one's who put "Looking for a man for marriage"... that scares me to death because to me they are (in my opinion) looking for somebody to support them, instead of forming an honest relationship...

Marriage is the last damned thing on my mind...

In fact I may NEVER get married again... its a silly ritual that has little meaning if there is no RELATIONSHIP....

I would rather do things in this order:

1) find a very good friend
2) develop a long-lasting friendship
3) friendship thus building trust
4) based on true friendship, and not infatuation, obsession, or some kind of sexual honeymoon event, the two fall in love
5) being mutually attracted, best friends, and now soul mates, endeavor to have a very long engagement
6) the engagement lasts until one or the other or both pass from this world... 40, 50 years, maybe more, Lord willing...

No need for a stupid wedding, marriage or anything else man-made... God brings you together, you are married... simple as that... "the two shall become one flesh"... well, that's the first time you have sex in God's eyes... anyone that fools around prior to marriage is kidding themselves if they think they need the ceremony to please God... pleasing God has a lot more to do with what is in your heart than it does with following stupid man-made traditions and rituals...

but hey, you asked, I'm telling... and I don't argue this stuff, so nothing anyone posts is going to change my views... in fact I figure arguing religion is probably one of the very best ways to tell God you don't give a crap about him... arguing religion is sort of like taking a a big fat pumpkin out in the field and beating it over and over again with a baseball bat... it does just about as much good... and at least if you vent your pissed-off sinful nature at an inanimate object like a pumpkin (instead of at God, and use his Holy words as your stupid baseball bat), you can come to grips with any inborn aggression at the same time... I suggest the pumpkin/baseball bat as great therapy for those addicted to religious arguments... so there...

Also, if you don't get married you don't have to pay a marriage tax to get married... spend a lot of dough on a stupid traditional ceremony, nor feed a bunch of grumpy and ungrateful relatives at a money-pit called a "reception"... hahahaha

you just get together, stay together... And you live happily ever after...

Also... I make sure and see if they have entered "Catholic" as a religion... I don't do Catholics... nothing against them, I just no what I am and that is protestant, and basically, I can't stand organized religion as a whole... so any claims to the "universal church" are out in my book... I prefer the ladies who choose "religion - other"... I didn't pick any religion because basically I figure what I believe is none of your damned business until we get to know each other better... (see religious argument section above...) LOL

I also don't do atheists, and would rather selct folks who aren't entirely obsessed with religious stuff... because they too often use God as an excuse for their own sinful crap... thus again (see religious argument section above... hahaha)

op... there's one more down there... "Want Children"... for responses I've seen.. "Yes"... "No"... "Undecided"... I didn't see my choice... "HELL NO"... hahahah... so I just chose "No"... too bad I can't highlight that in some way... I had 5 step-children... my answer is HELL-NO.... or... they better be grown and on their own because I am NOT their daddy nor will I ever be... so get used to it... I can however become one of their best friends on the entire planet... but they have ONE biological father and I am not him, nor do I get to be compared to him, nor do I care if he is a worthless piece of slug-invested boat slim who slid into the river 25 years ago, escaped his true manly duties, and left behind numerous rug rats... they have a word for that... "dead beat dad"... and I became well acquianted with one as I attempted to raise 5 step-children... not my cup of tea, nor will it ever be again...

Hell no... to children...

Then I guess I check their interests... the more outdoorsy they seem the bigger the turn-on for me... I love outdoorsy women... I am a woodsy guy, not a country bumpkin, there is a big difference... I lean toward survivalism, I love to tote guns (oh, they didn't have that choice... ok... no anti-gun weirdos... thankyouverymuch...) but I don't keep them in gun racks... because primarily they are probably way too expensive and of military origin, so they don't look too spiffy in gun racks... they look good in Rambo movies, though... hahahaha...

One thing they don't add to the mix of choices is politics... they should... political beliefs are another thing that go along with pumpkin beatings, but how a person views political beliefs can just as easily cause connection or disruption in the relationship... its another part of what makes us individuals... I guess for one, I hate trade unions... so, if anyone starts claiming this or that glorious bunch of hogwash about their beautiful brainwashed political opinion passed on to them by their trade union... I run for the hills because I know better... I grew up in Michigan, and I've had it up to my eyebrows with silly union brainwashing... typically unions choose to brainwash their minions by passing down extremely left-wing Democrat party member propganda... kind of leave ya without any other choice... kind of like brainwashing...

typically, someone needs to know who they are, and what they believe... and if that someone is mixed up in some cult-like activities (such as trade unions or extreme right-wing religiosity) then I steer clear...

There are good points on both sides... and then there are some damn good points that never get discussed at all..

Heck, make me President... vote for me in 2008... bet I could do a hell of a lot better job than Clinton or Bush... jahahahahaha

What we need is somebody that doesn't come from the extreme left (Clinton/Gore camp) or from the extreme right (Reagan/Bush camp)... we need a new face that is actually going to LEAD the country... instead of use the Constitution for toilet paper, and run the country into the ground

But ultimately, I see a globe with imiagninary geographical borders... man-made borders... I see an entire world... 6 billion people... and only 5% of those people live in the USA... that means Americans are actually extreme minorities... 95% of the world's population is NOT American...

ummmmmmmm

was that a choice on the JSH profile?..........

DOH.......

well, I said I could tend to write a bit... hahaha

now back to my textbooks and college studying...

Don't have a friend-girl to talk to anymore (she became one of those... "lead-me-on" types who disappear and all-of-a-sudden stop writing for no apparent reason...) oh well.. her loss... life goes on... just happy as a peach being single anyways...

The life that meets mine will meet me on many levels... My life won't have to stop and come screeching to a halt in order to love... the person for me will amplify my life... not disrupt it with chaos, calamity, addiction, obsession, or some unknown thing from the skeletal closet of doom...

Its all about the chemistry...

The two atomic (life forces) bounce around the container (the planet) for an unknown amount of time, then collide due to physical attractions (positives, negatives and maybe some isotopes) and other chemical reasons... thus becoming one unit of being known as a molecule...

Some chemical molecules are very hard to separate... some are very easy to separate... and the kind I am looking for become an entirely new element on the periodic table of elements...

They have some good choices on the profile section... but not quite deep enough for me to tell you the truth... I think they could add a lot more choices as options...

But I guess that's what the forum section is for... and why we have a message system here... so that any too little atomic lovebirds can connect temporarily and see if they have that chemical mix that makes a new molecule....

Haven't found mine yet... but I have faith she is out there...

honey...good luck

now where are my curled toes?

I knew it!!! you were just teasing me ,,,thxmama


curled toes= 10/10.. new math. I was never good at that

it's okay sweety....it's not a requirement...hell it isn't even on my list..

your eyes tend to wander down..quickly up...down...quickly up...just trying get a sense of what is behind the zipper

sorry don't know where that came from...i will leave now

oh....you mean the deal clencher?

i'm so sorry..i apologize...oh did you say deal?


in that case...i am buying

a pretty face gets me to stop and have a look

Then ...

Can she spell?
Can she string a lucid sentence together without using text speak.
Would she acknowledge the value of silence. Of not filling the void with noise when silence is as powerful.

The standard "Walks on the beach/forest/park" "Evenings out/nights in" DVDs, sofas and candlelit meals are all bleeeeurgh for me.

There to be humour, and it has to be prevalent in the profile.

... or alternatively she has to live up to her promise of being able to "suck start a Harley Davidson"

Shallow? Me? ... nope!

When someone is too lazy to actually write and uses text speak, I almost always get too lazy to read it. Just an automatic reaction. Eyes glaze over and it becomes a series of digits and letters that don't make any sense. It's almost as bad as reading binary code with emoticons.
There are other foriegn languages I'd rather learn.

Cute face, age bracket, location, and a sense of humor about life in general. A medium length profile is good for this, about two paragrapsh. You don't need a novel, but you need enough to convey a sense of who you are. I'm being hypocritical here too cause my profile is guilty of this, I need to flesh it out.

warning signs are things like "I need someone to take care of me" - bleeeurg.

It's funny how that works - you find somebody who just wants to mooch, and you don't want to give them a thing. You find somebody who wants to stand on thier own, and you want to give them the world.

OK no credit cards,especially Wal-Mart...sorry, cash only,and lots of it,....no refunds....extended toe curling warranty available at additional charge....satisfaction guaranteed w/ quick sale.....

First it has to have something worth reading in it. If all I got is a picture, I'm generally done looking and talking. In the interests category it can be most anything but if I see outdoor activities of most any kind, I get interested. And if I see anything that says she like adventure and new things you can probably figure on me sending an email.