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Topic: Hitting a Brick Wall
Bobzeaux's photo
Thu 10/25/07 10:13 AM
I've got a really, REALLY difficult problem here. As if playing The Numbers Game (only 1 out of 10+ women I write ever gets back to me) wasn't frustrating enough, the 1 woman who DOES e-mail me back does so for about a week or so and then suddenly stops for no apparent reason whatsoever. In most cases she writes as much in her e-mails as I write her, divulging her exploits of the day, telling me what she's looking for in a guy, etc. Meanwhile, I'm making sure that I'm wearing My Confident Face(TM) and if I have anything negative to say about myself, I always make sure I'm doing it in a comical fashion (everyone I've sought out for advice thinks I'm being Mr. Pessimism, which is NEVER the case). I like talking to them, and they apparently like talking to me.

So why is it that everything's going great but then she'll just stop talking to me for no reason whatsoever?

no photo
Thu 10/25/07 10:15 AM
Just hang in there and keep trying, maybe she took a break from the site or met someone else, there are plenty of great, beautiful ladies hre, just keep trying!!drinker

Bobzeaux's photo
Thu 10/25/07 10:21 AM
I can't keep trying. Once I go through all of the women in my area (which is never more than 40-50), that's all there is. :S

Yes, that's right, ladies. I e-mail everyone I can instead of just you. I'm sorry if that makes you feel less special, but that's what you get for ignoring a simple innocent "hello".

bgeorge's photo
Thu 10/25/07 10:25 AM
no one ever e-mails me back...as for the chick she is sooo not worthy of you...brendaflowerforyou

no photo
Thu 10/25/07 10:27 AM
quit tryign so hard

Deana64's photo
Thu 10/25/07 10:32 AM
just keep at it mr Bobzeaux from your avy your a cute guy in the end it may take time for you to make that special connection but persistence should pay off in the long run.
gotta remeber for all of us on here we also have lives we are living through outside the computer screen maybe the ones you contact are not ready or could be shy scared all of that crap that goes with the dating world in and off pc world.
Just be you try not to have too many expectations just play it out and see where they lead to
good luck too

bgeorge's photo
Thu 10/25/07 10:32 AM
and oh yeah, bobz...everytime i log on the same little men are looking at my profile again...i delete them and sometimes w/in 2 mins they are looking at me again???? wtf???? guess they're just small little men...at least you're a man...and a gentleman at that...dang if i was only 30 yrs younger...drinker

MatchformeeYahoo's photo
Thu 10/25/07 10:34 AM
It's amazing... I thought i was the only one who did this...
i have sent out over 2,000 emails (tallied from all sites i go to) have recieved about 10 -20 replies offered about 6 meetings from that... when we meet or shortly before i found 5 of those already had steady boyfriends or husbands...
The one that i did actually go out with met me on a mon we went out on tuesday she told me she wanted me to consider us being one on one dating only and wednsday we went out again, thursday she left for vacation to Myrtle beach Friday she was unreachable except for the text messages she sent me... Then she finally after i pointed out she was not speaking with me on the phone and why... She said i would not understand she had promised this man she would spend the weekend with him before we started dating (Yes.. The weekend in his home and having sex..) She did not understand why i had a problem with that and said she had made the offer to me to be only with each other and wanted to know if it could start on monday...
I have had such bad luck with dating i figured it was not much different from my past so i accepted... ANd Well wouldn't you know the very next weekend she had another date prepromised Needless to say that was the end of all that.

So maybe not getting returns is a good thing, But i still wait to see if the right one will come along.
Stay steady and firm to your belief and just be patient if it is meant to happen it will.
Know that you are not alone.

Bobzeaux's photo
Thu 10/25/07 10:36 AM
"as for the chick she is sooo not worthy of you...brenda"
Aww, thanks. But with all of the women who've rejected me, I'm not sure how healthy it is to adopt the mentality that my reasons for singlehood simply stem from me being surrounded by mediocrity. *lol*


"quit tryign so hard"
You and everyone else on the planet says that, but what does that even mean? Everyone says to not try so hard, but they continue by saying that I should never give up and keep thinking positive. They say to not get discouraged with every "no" I get and tell me to keep pursuing as many women as possible (since, statistically speaking, the one who finally says "yes" is only getting closer, right?), but then they tell me that I can't pursue every woman I see/meet.

bgeorge's photo
Thu 10/25/07 10:39 AM
well, i do...don't settle...not only in love but in life..k enough preaching...brenda:smile:

Deana64's photo
Thu 10/25/07 10:46 AM
I know its gotta be hard, but try not to think of them as rejections personally.
many people who are here are looking for something that connects with themselves maybe you just haven't found that right fit yet.
try to keep your hopes open and keep at it.
I still say good luck you will find that someone if you keep looking we all do.

no photo
Thu 10/25/07 10:48 AM
I truly thikn women find it attractive if you look really whiny in a post

bgeorge's photo
Thu 10/25/07 10:52 AM
do not ever ever believe anything sfa says in a post...

no photo
Thu 10/25/07 10:54 AM
LOL thanks bgeorge.... truly just trying to add a little humor to lighten the mood

bgeorge's photo
Thu 10/25/07 10:55 AM
me too...just forgot the smiley face..laugh :heart: some of your posts are just off the wall...and crack me up

Bobzeaux's photo
Thu 10/25/07 10:55 AM
What I'm doing isn't whiny.

"WHY DON"T WOMEN WANNA GO OUT WITH MEEEEE???????? <XO"

THAT is whiny.

All I'm doing is trying to gain some insight as to what's going wrong here, and if there's anything that I can do to better the odds. I've already established that some women DO get back to me. Only after a few days of my optimistic mood never changing from the initial Hello does she suddenly stop talking to me. I wasn't whiny there, was I?

QwicherBytchin's photo
Thu 10/25/07 10:59 AM
No offense, Bob, but if you're sending emails to EVERY girl in your area, that tells me that you don't care who corresponds, as long as someone does. I would prefer to have a man who looks over my profile and says, "she sounds pretty cool, I'll try to talk to her". Now, just looking for a friend, it doesn't matter. Then again, neither should the distance.

Bobzeaux's photo
Thu 10/25/07 11:10 AM
Alright, EVERY woman was bad wording on my part. :P I meant every woman who sounds interesting to me (which isn't a lot, given the limited number of available women in my area, and then people accuse me of being too picky :S). Only with these women I find interesting can I attempt to establish some sort of a connection with. I'll see something on their profile that corresponds with my own interests/philosophies, and try to relate to them with it/them.

Unfortunately, distance IS an issue. I drive for a living, and it's hard enough spending money on gas for my job without spending more on a luxury that people say I don't need but pursue me to get anyway. If she lives more than 25 miles away, sorry, but that's too much work. (Does that fall into the category of me not trying too hard, or not trying hard enough?)

MatchformeeYahoo's photo
Thu 10/25/07 11:10 AM
Well i have to add another post to this...
I agree you are not whinning but trying to get some insight.

So here from my experience is some insight.
Most if not all females that i have seen or chatted with seem to fall under 3 catagories.

1. Low self confidence... unable to continue conversation due to being too reserved to say what exactly they feel about the connection made or if any connection made at all...
Also in this catagory is IN NEED.. which is the same... they do not recieve the kind or type of attention they require so they move on to the next guy.

2. The Player... and that is so variant it would be a list a mile long.
Needless to say just dishonest...

3.mistooken... One who would mistake honesty as being played, or one who would think you are truly desperate because you have shown an interest.
One who would assume you to be a NON manly person because you have feelings,dreams and spiration you are willing to share.

Well maybe not accurate ,But in my experience this is an accurate account.


MatchformeeYahoo's photo
Thu 10/25/07 11:14 AM
No offense, Bob, but if you're sending emails to EVERY girl in your area, that tells me that you don't care who corresponds, as long as someone does. I would prefer to have a man who looks over my profile and says, "she sounds pretty cool, I'll try to talk to her". Now, just looking for a friend, it doesn't matter. Then again, neither should the distance.


I just have to say "AS IF" to this... I only write to those i have read the profile and i have an interest in...
And have had the same results as BOB...

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