Is being almost perfect good enough.?.
When you find your new partner how perfect do they have to be?.. in order for you to seriously think about staying long term.?...
.. so let's say you meet this special someone but they are just a little shorter than you prefer. Height wise.. but they're great in every other department... you have the same sense of humor.. you see the world in the same way. And physically things are good.. now with them being shorter, than you really prefer .. would this become an issue for you eventually..?.. and let's say you really wanted somebody.. to be a certain height... the height scenario is just an example... by the way it could just as well be they have freckles on their face.... or maybe they walk with a little bit of a limp.... the point is how perfect do they have to be... do you have a checklist..ie. must have no freckles must be certain height.. must be of a certain age.. must have a certain education. Level. diploma...
. Are you willing to compromise your wish list... can you eventually get past their flaws... are do you think over time it would begin... to adversely affect the relationship..hmm..

I don't believe that anyone is perfect...

I do believe a person can be perfect for that person.. Flaws and all..

As far as height even tho I'm 5'1 I prefer the guy to be at least 5'9" or above.. Just seems to always be that way.. Would I date someone shorter then me? I doubt it due to my height that is pretty short for a guy.. But if they were only a few inches taller then me sure..if there was a connection..

To me it is not so much of what their flaws are, it is all about the connection two people have with each other..And by connection I mean personality,the way they treat you and well of course when it comes to sex..

I have dated some guys that connection seemed to be there in the beginning and when it came to sex it was a dud~~~ If they are not willing to give all in that area as well, then it ain't gonna work..

Small flaws I can over look for I have them myself...

If they are abusive physically or verbal or just down right rude to me or others then it is a no go, no matter what the connection may be..

Ones personality can make you forget about the small flaws one has.. And makes them shine~~

You lose me on the whole concept of 'flaws'.

Mainly because, those who seek them...will
find them..eventually.

You might find the ones on the outside a wee
sooner than the ones inside.

I concentrate on the entire package...that
is the way it comes. I have to love what they
even hate about themselves.

That is the unconditional part.
It lasts longer.

..ohh. k.. so what happens if something on their entire package.. isn't quite up to snuff....?

No returns.

..sooo.. you can look past almost anything.. but if they are no good in bed that's a dealbreaker..hmm.. very very interesting..lol..jk.

.. not even if you have the receipt and are offered a full refund..lol..

But I do tend to agree withTxsGal...
If things aren't working in the bedroom.. it puts a big strain on the rest of the relationship... some things can be worked on however, through good comcommunication ... I suppose it comes down to what a person is willing to endure.... it's like being with somebody with really badbreath ' .. doesn't matter how attractive they are how nice they are.. but as soon as you get a whiff of their breath.. all of that goes out the window...lol... so now !you either just walk away from what could be a good person a good match... or you offer to help them.. overcome their little issue.. their flaws... but in this day and age it seems easier just to walk away.... rather than to see the potential... and put a little work into them... of course we are talking about two people at the beginning of a relationship.. once your in it !you're definitely in it to win ..
it.. but then again I suppose this is why so many relationships end in divorce..
A lack of communication.. a lack in willingness to change... to be better people for one another..yup..

I have only one deal breaker and that is they have to be in as good as physical shape as I am. Other then that there very few things that I would say no to. Unless they cray cray.

..ok.. so let's say you meet somebody.. and they cover up the fact that they are not in super great shape.. you know how women can cover that up lol push up bras.. tummy tucking panties..lol.. but anyway if you get to know her she's nice you like her.. she is everything you are looking for... so after a little time you get to see her without her clothes on.. you discover she is not in the best shape ever.. again she is in good shape for her age.. but maybe just not super fit. now what do you do..hmm..

Actually it is a deal breaker for me and have ended a relationship after 6 months. Due to the guy was not willing to even try in that area. I even brought it up and tried to discuss it with him. But he pretty much blew me off.(no pun intended) Sorry if all you are going to do is lay there and get your jolly's but not willing to let me have mine then it is a deal breaker.. Honestly I told him just that when we split up...

I have no problem in the communication department.. I do have a problem when one is not willing to enhance the relationship so we are both happy...

He had other flaws but they were not so bad that I could not deal with them.. As I said I have my own as well... There are some that you realize that makes them who they are..

Now if it came down to bad breath to the point it turned your stomach that is hard to deal with.. But would still try to tell them something is wrong.. Sometimes that is due to what they eat or meds they are on or they need to go to the dentist to see what is up.. Again if they are not willing to try to find out the cause it is a deal breaker..

There are some deal breakers. I would think that everyone has a least a couple of those. Nobody is perfect.

For me the first and most important feature is her attitude. If that is fine then I don`t mind any other flaws. I can live with any one but not with a bad attitude person

I think a person's choice to move on or not in that scenario is dependent upon how extreme the visceral response is to what a person beholds. If you are mildly turned off, there is hope. If you are downright repulsed, I can't see a way forward

Yes everyone has habits that one perceives as a flaws.,
We get to choose which of them we can live with or even change..
Too many flawed habits?? Move onward and upward

It would be very hard to hide the fact that she is out of shape because I am a very outdoors kind of person. Say for example she did lie, the first time I asked her to go on a hike with me the secret would be out, and even if she was thin it doesn't mean she's in shape. I'm the kind of person that views 5 miles as "walking distance."

Difficult question. You're mostly getting at physical things?
I don't really have a list, just that height is a deal breaker. So is not matching sexually. I will end the relationship if intimacy doesn't work out.
Apart from that I have to feel attracted to him.
I also know I'd find it difficult to be with a man who isn't at least a bit handy.

Doesn't most of the irritation and 'not acceptable' come from behaviour instead of physical/appearance?
I remember at first I could sort of live with my ex always leaving the toothpaste in the shower, and brushing his teeth in the shower, but it started to annoy me more and more the longer we were together.
Up to the point that if a new partner would do the same, he's going to be in a big pile of poo
I do NOT want toothpaste in my shower anymore, ever!

Oh well... I guess if it doesn't interfere with norms and values and core needs, it doesn't matter so much. If it does ... it'll be difficult.

And that's why relationships fall apart. It's the little things that you use to except or maybe even think were kind of cute that over time end up irritate the **** out of you.

I find that this very common question, is also very commonly viewed from the exactly wrong point of view.

That is, people do often develop lists of one sort or another, of things they want their next or "last" relationship to include or not include. It's very common for someone who is attracted to such a person, to get the idea that the lists are a sort of plan, or contract, or even a test path that they can try to follow, in order to win that person over.

Therefore they come to forums like this, or to discussions with such people, and try to get them to "adjust" their demands enough to allow the yearning person to have a shot.

The thing is, for most people, though we can indeed give you a list of stuff we want, and a list of "deal breakers," these lists aren't like LAWS that we passed to rule ourselves. They aren't even "guidelines" we are trying to follow.

What they are, are verbalizations of what we think or HOPE that we have learned about ourselves and what we enjoy, mixed in with some DEDUCTIONS that we have made about other people, which we hope will allow us to test them for compatibility.

Thus, someone might spell out that they want someone a certain height. The thing with that is, that the reason WHY they decided about the height specification isn't always the same. It might be because they tried to make things work several times with people who WEREN'T that height, and had problems, so they decided that the problems were CAUSE by the height. Maybe they were, but maybe it was coincidence.

Most of the time, our lists are DYNAMIC. They are changing even as we write them out.

And by the way, for a HUGE number of people, I've noticed that one of their often unspoken Red Flags/Deal Breakers, is that the next person MUST NOT try to get them to change off their wish list. This is because a LOT of us have been persuaded to change away from what we think we know about ourselves, only to be burned emotionally REALLY badly for doing so.

So be very careful about trying to get a person with a firm list, to allow you to change it for your sake.

I am far from perfect so I don't expect them to be either.Its what in their hearts that matters.