I'm not flawed in any way.

Yeah in a way I guess. But I underestimated a core difference between him and me, and this toothpaste thing was just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.
The 'iceberg' was that we had a completely different view of hygiene. To me basic hygiene is part of norms and values and ours were irreconcilable concerning that.

A friend of mine told me that his dealbreakers list was very short. So I listed about 20 potential flaws in a partner and asked him if he could live with any of them. He said no. My point is that we say that we know that nobody is perfect, but when asked what flaws we could live with, the list is unrealistically brief, which implies that technically, we do look for perfection! Or in some cases, we say we will accept mates with their flaws, but treat them like fixer- uppers, trying to remodel the parts of the package that didn't tickle our fancy. People aren't projects that we can work on! After the age of 40, people are pretty much set in their ways . Unless subjected to some life- altering event, any changes people make are not usually sustained for very long so why force something on a person that isn't authentic to him/her. Sometimes the things we think we CAN'T live with, we discover with a little patience and humility that we can , but how will we know unless we give people a chance? What do have to lose? How has holding out for the perfect person been working for us thus far?

Perhaps it's not a question of perfection and more of one of having higher standards.. we all set standards for ourselves..

I don't see the things you mentioned, I.e. freckles, height.... as "flaws"... They are just things that we as individuals with certain criteria don't find appealing to us!
Perfection is all in our own individual taste!

There is no such thing as perfection......but there could be a person who is "perfect" for you....

I agree. It's human to have preferences and even noble to have high standards, but I am 40, and if over the next 10 years after casting such a wide international net for love and no one is still meeting my standards or preferences that I hold dear to me , then I personally will ask myself..

"Is the issue really them or me?"

At what point do we admit that our higher standards are too high? And wouldn't we want our potential partners to overlook some of the things on us that aren't THEIR preferences too? There could be such lovely surprises in store if we dare to relax our preference bracket a little.

My body for eg didnt fit the preference of one of my ex boyfriends . He was into the long skinny leggy type , which at a laughable 5, ft 2 , I was far from attaining, but he fell in love with my face and personality and we enjoyed the most amazing relationship ! And on the reverse side, my last boyfriend, had a discoloured front tooth and a lanky frame that didn't exactly set my loins on fire... but because of his personality and shared values and interests, I gave him a chance and we were able to share something wonderful! Neither relationship worked out because we had different goals in life, but it taught me that by eliminating people for a few of the qualities that we think we CAN'T live with , we end up losing out on some RARE and AMAZING qualities in the persons, that we CAN NOT live without.

When we venture outside of our comfort zone, we learn so much about ourselves. In my last romantic effort last year, I started chatting with someone who was attractive and intelligent, but with whom I had no emotional or physical sparks over the 4 months we chatted daily. We had more of a friendship chemistry... but at least I gave it a chance ,and now I know for sure that I cant compromise on chemistry no matter how awesome the guy is , but my point is.. How will we know until we try? What have we got to lose?

I suggest one more modification: not "higher" standards, just "more specific" standards.

Again, I have never seen anyone who was ACTUALLY looking for, or demanding "perfection." It just seems that way to the people who don't measure up in a way that is VERY important to the person dumping them, but not at all important to THEM.

It's a perception problem.

In my case, having lost the majority of my love life to women who turned out to be mentally "off," I wont even ATTEMPT anything with someone who appears to need help in that particular area again. I'll be friends, and help AS a friend, but I will never again invest my soul in such a person.

That doesn't mean I expect to find a mentally "perfect" person to be with, it means that in certain specific ways, my future mate has to be stable and on the same page I am.