I would like the views of the other parents and single parents of children of their own on the topic about spanking good or bad?

We've had this debate before and boy did it get heated.

I've never spanked my kids even though I was spanked when I was a kid.

Each to their own and I don't think we should tell other parents whats right or wrong for their kids.

Totally agree with Joe everyone brings their children up differently.
I used other methods that worked and also they learnt from it.

I did spank but found it was to painful for my hand so I changed to the other methods.

Every situation and child are different so you need to work out what is more effective.

Does this topic have anything to do with Castle Anthrax?

Thanks all for your honest and I appreciate it. I never tell parents how they should parent. But good that you two posted any way.

It is illegal to spank your children in New Zealand. So we have to find more creative ways to discipline.

spanking can get very creative,,, actually

... so say the residents of Castle Anthrax.

what is this castle anthrax you have now referred to twice,,?

Here I would like to know too

Castle Anthrax is one of the scenes in the movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

See http://youtu.be/QvRH-8eF6l0. Scroll through until you get to the 4:00 mark.

You can read the script by clicking here.

I believe the most important thing is to find out why the problem or behavior occurred, talk and see if the child can come up with methods on their own for not repeating the same thing, and giving them the information to not repeat their mistake.

I believe in progressive discipline, starting small and working up to different punishment as is necessary.

After raising 4 different children (all adults now), I only had to build up to spanking one of the boys one time for getting in his mother's face because he was much bigger and stronger than her.

Never had to say more to the girl than I am really disappointed in you, because she would run to her room and cry, and then she would come back out and want to discuss how not to make that mistake again.

more concerned with balance for children than spanking

that is to say we are not there to be our kids friends but to be their teachers, teaching them and preparing them for life


which means in addition to the physical needs of food, water, rest and shelter,,,,they also have emotional needs like support, discipline, esteem . boundaries and a sense of consistency and choice


when parents have a healthy balance of these things,, spanking is not an issue


when parents do not have a balance, spanking can be a big issue

for instance, in my life there was never a doubt my parents loved me, they were involved and interested in my academics, they worked hard to provide a decent life of physical needs , they spent quality personal time with us exposing us to different lifestyle, religious, and cultural choices, they traveled with us, we had weekly meetings to sit and discuss issues and concerns and goals , they stepped up for us several times when others wronged us, as stern as they were with others in support of us, they were just as stern with us in our boundaries

and always gave us a strong sense of choice and consequence, in true preparation for life,, different levels of poor choices had different levels of consequence, which we always were aware of ahead of time and therefore our choice of action was the same as choosing the consequence

,,,balance


most of the time I have seen spanking be an issue is within families where the spanking was severely out of BALANCE with all the other things kids need and/or where there were actually BEATINGS with fists and slaps on bodily areas other than the behind

Are you very strict with your kids when needed?

thankfully, its not needed

I would be if it were,,,

I dated a young lady for several months. She spanked her 2 kids and it all seemed fine. What bothered me was when she let her AUNT spank the 2 kids. It seemed like abuse when the aunt did it and I wondered why the young lady would not step-up and just do it herself rather than using/relying on her aunt.

different culture sense adult roles and family roles differently

in my culture/environment, the adults and the family looked out for the child and their needs

discipline was seen as much as a need as food, so we would no more get angry about someone else disciplining when needed than we would them feeding them


if its done from love and filling the childs needs, its not an issue

The OP deactivated

WHEN THERE IS A PROBLEM WITH A PUPPY, TO SOLVE IT THE OWNER NEEDS TO BE TRAINED

ON HOW TO GET ALONG WITH PUPPY......ITS PRETTY MUCH THE SAME WITH KIDS, I DID

NOT GET A SET OF DIRECTIONS WITH MY KIDS. SO I HAD ONLY TWO CHOICES ON HOW TO

PARENT 1- PARENT LIKE I WAS PARENTED,,2- PARENT THE OPPOSITE OF HOW I WAS

PARENTED.....IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH CREATING A HEALTHY AND HAPPY ADULT....I

BELIEVE THEY NEED TO BE HELD, HUGGED, AND REALLY LISTENED TO AND THERE FEELINGS

VALIDATED AND NOT FEELING JUDGED ABOUT THERE SELF WORTH....

P.S. ''LOVE SOMETIMES IS HARD FOR A CHILD TO REALLY GRASP''ON SO WHAT I

DO IS TELL THEM ALSO HOW MUCH I ''LIKE'' THEM...CHILDREN CAN GET A HANDLE ON ''I

REALLY LIKE YOU'' IS MUCH EASIER FOR MOST TO UNDERSTAND.....

There should never be a need to spank a child communication at the child's level is best if a parent is tired n the child is stressing them out to a point where the thought of spanking come to mind the best thing to do is make them go to there bedrooms so you get some space for a while