same here

and it is not illegal to spank your wife, unless she presses charges
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Just curious... Did you press charges?

nope, deserved the whole fifty shades,, and Im better for it,

I'm sure you did... then some Lol

Good girl ;)

hell i got the belt the ruler and the spoon.
now a days you give your child a swat on the behind with an open hand and the social worker will take your kids away.
no wonder society is so ****ed up.

It comes down to finding what works for YOUR child and doing it. Children are not clones of each other so not all respond the same way to the same things.

I didn't get spanked as a kid. I got the crap beat out of me, beaten until I cried, and then beaten for crying. I'd never put my daughter through that. Not that she's never gotten a measured response of a swat to the butt, but I've found that linking consequences for behavior to saying no to things she wants takes longer to get the message across, but does work. Thankfully, she's at a stage in development that she can communicate and comprehend, and I for one am glad our relationship wasn't founded on violence.

If someone wants to use a measured response of corporal punishment as discipline, that's their choice, and not really my place to say right or wrong.

It is not spanking that causes psychological damage. It is growing up in an unstable or IMBALANCED home.

Spanking is no more wrong than grounding regardless if its more physical or not. We put kids through sports training which can sometimes actually mean enduring physical discomfort or pain. The human body is resilient and it takes trials and discomforts to learn and grow sometimes.

The problem is only if spanking (swatting the behind) is actually slapping or beating with a fist or battering on other parts of the body besides that most well padded part. Also if there is no BALANCE of support and encouragement and positive reinforcement for the things they do correctly. Usually spanking mixed with an environment with no other communication or interaction leads to the worst damage.

I have explained before that my parents disciplined us as needed and they also praised and rewarded us. They communicated with us clearly any boundaries and the reasons why and the potential consequences up to and including spanking. They prepared us for the REAL world in which people are expected to make INFORMED Decisions based upon desired outcomes and where consequences for some choices are much harsher than for other. There was no doubt they loved us and they always had our back if anyone was doing us wrong.


Most of the spanked children in these anti spanking studies had an imbalance where either the only attention they received was negative and physical or where they were so spoiled in believing parents were doormats to step on and make do whatever makes them happy that even simple no's made them somehow fall apart and feel mistreated.

Spanking gives gives the child more reason to do even worse cause it's concluded in him that the only thing that will happen after he/she does whats intended is spanking .communication and getting rwal close to children will a very long way..

of course, each child is different. I never wanted to do 'worse' because it was never worth letting my parents down or worth the consequence of the spanking ... to me.

I feel the same of 'time outs', if that was 'all' that was going to happen, or a good talking to ... Im not sure that would have stopped me from doing whatever I wanted. It would not be much of a 'consequence' ... for me.

Spare the rod & spoil the child.

There was a standing rule in my house that our children would NEVER be paddled more than 3 swats and three mean it was something really bad.

Any more than three decisive swats is the parent taking pleasure in punishing. To me, that is sadistic.

My grown kids have told me that their mom didn't feel the same as me when I wasn't home. That's on her.

If dad was swatting, it mean they did something serious because I didn't eagerly hit my children.

Only once did my son get four. It was for being sadistic to a family pet.

Now, as they progressed into their teenage years, the swats had a different force. I was perfectly capable of putting any of them down with one.

I remember when they were preteen. I brought home a chunk of steel reinforced hydraulic hose and took them out back. I stood up a piece of 1/4 inch plywood and cut it in half with one swat. It reinforced why I didn't use 'things' to punish them, I got my point across.

I found out that later they threw the hose in the lake. I asked why and was told "To keep it away from Momma".