How do you say
“its not my fault" to your self?

What did you really do...

Or is there's always a question why the two of you broke up?


These questions often pops in our mind on or after the heatbreak.

Share your stories and let's see if we all got our share of "FAULT" and if we're the one who's "Right"

why does there have to be someone at fault? if you're not right together, why play the blame game?


people don't work out, it happens... to start blaming someone for that is petty and childish...

so you figure out who's "at fault" and get back together... does that change anything? you're still probably just not right for each other...

for me

I don't do the 'fault/blame' thing, but I take RESPONSIBILITY

we were both responsible, I was responsible for deciding to end it, he was responsible for losing my trust

Love is d misunderstanding between two foolish people.when foolishness cums to end then both try to behave like smart and clever. So always live fool in love u will never see breakup and pain.it's my thinking.may b i m wrong. Lol

There's no fault. It's not about blame, people only blame when they cannot handle a situation.
It's about responsibility. Just take responsibility for your part of it going wrong, without blaming yourself and without beating yourself up over it. Learn from it, work through the loss and move on.

Even thinking "He's responsible for losing my trust" is blame. YOU had your part to play in that too, no matter what.

it's not you it's me

I have problems with commitment..my last guys said so

I really thought we had a shot but things kind of fizzled out

I have unresolved issues

your a nice guy and maybe that is my problem

I just need some time to think

I need to go out and find myself

I'm thinking of getting back together with my ex

Mmm. Yes. Blame. Cause and effect.

From the time I was first aware that I and others existed, I've struggled with what to do when I or they are unhappy.

I think it's fairly common for children to get the idea early on, that establishing who's "fault" something was, is the way to figure out who gets to start having fun again, and who has to suffer.

I've noticed that the more "powerful" someone is (power comes in a variety of forms), the less likely they are to recognize that human interactions are most accurately viewed less as "right and wrong," and more as choices and results, as action and natural consequences. The thing to pursue isn't a decision on who is to "blame," it's to try to understand everything from everyone's point of view.

Now, one caution with that. The "powerful" people again, too often get half way to recognizing that blame isn't the right way to go, and stop there. They are still as children, and think "if no one is to blame, I can do whatever I want, and tell anyone who complains that they just aren't tough enough; just not mature enough; just aren't as sophisticated as I am." The recognition that blame doesn't "work," doesn't mean you have a get-out-of-responsibility card.

The relationships I've had which painfully failed, happened as they did because we each made choices, and took actions, that caused the other person to feel bad. I had women tell me that the reason why they cheated and screwed around with someone else was entirely my fault, for failing to grow and change in a way that would allow them to remain faithful.

I eventually realized that what a lot of people use blame for, isn't to understand anything. It's just to make themselves feel better about their own choices.

"It's not you, its me".. was my go to phrase, back in the day..

Hmmmmmm....

I asked myself these questions when I finally split from my ex wife...

What did I do wrong?
(Nothing)

What could I have done better?
(Spent more time with my lived ones instead of earning money - its not important... Quality time is important)

What is the root cause?
(We had different aspirations which caused us to part)


I beat myself up asking these questions over and over to myself....
Then one day, I recalled the "Three Reasons" poem/story...
Yes its simply a poem/story, but it answers a lot of questions and helps one stop beating oneself up...


Three Reasons ( Author - Anonymous)


Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

- Unknown -

There Can be Blame And Fault in Many a situation. But rather the issue and Focus should then be one of Solution Solution Solution. Communication is Key. Absolute Sincerity is Turning that key and TRUST opens the door once again. If the Relationship is at an impasse So be it. Move on. but Yes with Both parties there is(was)always room for a Could have/Should have tried or done better. And So we learn. Well at least some...