WOULD YOU TAKE BACK YOUR EX?

I read so many tales of woe here by people with broken hearts. So many lonely hearts. So many broken relationships. So many people beating themselves up for making relationship mistakes. I kept wondering the same thing over and over. If your ex came to you and told you that they never stopped loving you and they wanted to start again and fell down to their knees and beseeched you to take them back, pulling at your heartstrings, would you take them back? Be honest. No posturing or pride, please. Please share why or why not.

I would not take back my ex-BF because he was abusive. It was a painful breakup for me but I am glad that it didn't work out. It would have only brought me more misery later down the road. Sometimes, breakups are blessings in disguise, preparing us for worthy, quality partners later in life. Next time, we are stronger and wiser and better equipped to hold on to the good ones.

I took back a few over time...didn't take long before I remembered why they are X'd...sticking with new and different from here on out....

My ex tells me he loves me now
and he is going thru his second divorce..doesn't change a damn thing. Reasons we divorced?still there just below surface

Maybe, if I had kept the receipt.
I don't want store credit.


No.
But it's been awhile since I had an ex. And the last one was extremely amicable and more of a discussion than a "breakup."

So all my "hearstrings" towards my ex's have been completely severed and thinking back on them doesn't cause any kind of emotional reaction or longing desire.


Personally, I disagree.
IMO breakups are just showing you that you can't be in a relationship with that person, possibly that type of person.
They're really only relevant learning tools of preparation if you keep dating the same type of people over and over and over and over, as well as not seeing people as individuals but simply cogs to get you to your desired relationship ideals.


IMO it's far more likely that bad ex's and breakups just set your bar lower.
When someone decent does come along it's just in comparison to your experience that make them seem a worthy, quality, partner.


How?
In anything else in life it's actual practice in the doing that makes you stronger.
If you keep having next times, if you keep having ex's, if you keep letting go...you're practicing letting go and having ex's, not holding on or having relationships.

And IME most people that go through bad relationships don't get stronger and wiser in good ways. Only in ways that protect themselves from getting into any relationship, to protect themselves emotionally. Ways in which a lot of other people would consider weaker and not...wise.

IMO relationships are not a cumulative learning experience like school.
Simply because relationships are unique to the people that make the relationship.
People define the relationship, the relationship does not define the people.

At best you can learn about yourself from a relationship, but only if you're honest with yourself about it.
You don't learn how to be in a relationship, you just learn how to pay better attention to yourself.
And that's assuming you actually do pay attention to yourself rather than just see what you want to see and force everything through a confirmation or interpretation bias.

Learning about yourself, honestly, helps clarify communication, being able to express what's going on inside your head or "heart" easier.

That's what helps.
Not strength or relationship wisdom.

Unfortunately, IME, most people want to focus on their emotional fulfillment or protection far more than learning about themselves or learning to communicate.

my x's are x's for a reason
so no
once and x all ways an x
we broke up for a reason and i took a while to decide or it was decided for me

I would take him back to that room that does the executions.
Flip the switch, if allowed.

must have been very bad sorry ((((soufie))))

No, never go back...Forward only....

I wouldn't to her if she did me wrong

He!! No... I'm with dat on this...

NO.......NOO.....NOOOOOO.....NNNNEEEEEEVVVVVEEEEERRRRRR!


if my ex she never stopped loving me and got on her knees in front if me, I'd say "ill think about, but you have to stay like that with your eyes closed for the next 15 minutes".....then I'd leave and go far far away

WOWSERS --- beneath that mild mannered profile photo beats a

Just joking...

To answer the question posed to us; Hell freezing over and the 'LAST MAN ON EARTH' scenario just couldn't move me back in that direction - EVER

Nope. Never.

Once the trust is gone,it's gone.So a definite no...

That's right

Would I take my first ex-girlfriend back?

*sigh*

Probably.

Not accounting for the more-than-a-decade we haven't even been aware of the other's existence (besides memories), back then we actually had things in common. I could talk to her for hours and hours and not run out of things to say. Also, she was physically attractive and I had reason to suspect she found me physically attractive, and that's not something I'm going to sneeze at.

If SHE can back to ME, promising all the things YouAreWhoYouAre says... Yeah, I probably would. The reason why I broke things off with her permanently was because I ended up just embarrassing myself chasing after her, and she didn't seem to pay much attention. But if she was going to be the one paying attention to me, first, again, I'd take that as a good sign.

But now ask me if I really think it would last this time around...

Probably not.

--------

Would I take my second ex-girlfriend back?

Probably not.

We didn't really have a deep relationship. I wouldn't talk to her for hours like I could my first girlfrield because it turned out we didn't have nearly as much in common. She... was not particularly interested in having a completely monogamous and dedicated relationship, and I couldn't see myself marrying her in the long run. If she came to me on her knees begging to get together again, I would regard that with a certain amount of suspicion and misgivings - and aside from how that makes ME look, I don't think that's a good start to renewing a relationship.

Nice boobs I love you

No flipping way.
I would have to be nuts. This time i might not make it out alive.

On the day my ex-wife and I were signing the divorce papers, I looked at her and before I signed I said to her, "Once I sign this, you can never have me again. You wanted this, so I am now giving up on you." To this day she says it is the single meanest thing I ever said to her because of how certain I was. To me...I had to end it all right then and there, turn my feelings off for her, and move on. I believe she had felt that if things never worked out with the guy she left me for, that I would be there as a fall back. I took that away from her and it hit home. That was seven years ago. And if she came to me now and wanted me back I would flat out laugh at her. I am not the same guy I was then.....I am better. And I deserve better than her. I wasn't good enough for her then and now.....she damn sure isn't good enough for me.