Did someone call for the fire brigade???

Seems to be a bit of heat in here...


Sin, multiple marriages?

In MY OPINION...(apparently I am allowed one of those)...people get married for all sorts of reasons...mostly, because they believe they have made a decision to commit to a person, as a life partner, for a lifetime.

How it turns out, is sometimes not how one planned...

How every many times they do, or do not get married.

For me personally, and I wonder if it is us being Australian, the societal mindset is not as religious based, so that marriage is not such a necessary thing... it certainly isn't for me.

Well said, Jess!

Maybe you will have better luck than the angels did with Lot and if you do just remember not to turn around unless you are into salt, Jax.

You know you just can't turn your back on some people, Jax.

jax: well you've learned to know what you don't want and that is a great position:)

The question is, "Is this a red flag when you meet someone that have been married and divorced more than twice?"

I didn't say it's a bad thing. I was just wondering what people think when they come across someone in this situation.

Do you question it? Yes, I would. Why? Why not, this person might have a marriage bug and nothing more.

Yes, I know there are genuine cases and I am not interested in the details. You don't have to prove it to me except to the one you are interested in making a life with.

believe me i know roy.
thanx living,at least i have finally learned to recognize the danger signs..maybe..

well seeing how this was posted during the sparks flying era

i am reposting it again

--------------------

i am going to have to agree w/singing's (first) two posts

just because they have been in two failed marriages

does not mean the failing was there fault
maybe the spouse cheats for the sake of cheating

or they become someone that has changed and no
longer feels they can stay in the relationship with you

and what does divorce mean a legal termination of a legal marriage

what about the people that just live together for a few years
and go there own ways

and done this multiple times and say no i never been divorced

a technically true statement but would you trust them
if you found this out

and just because someone did not get along w/someone else does not mean they will not get along with you

but hey what do i know

------------

and for the record married 12 yrs and divorced once she remarried 3 weeks later to the father of her son i was trying
to adopt

long term significant other for 8 yrs and she got religion
and left after cheating

so i guess i am high risk according to most of the posts on
this thread even tho i have never cheated on nor struck anyone

You could both wave your red flags at each other, Sin. I mean a white flag would be a sign of surrender right, Sin?

robin your a bad boy ...c'mon over to my house..

ya gonna spank me

"Red flag" is a semi-official term to denote various attention and awareness indicators and signals, both explicit and implicit.

The term and the expression "to raise the red flag" come from various usages of real flags in real life. The semaphore red flag (or red light) on railways means an immediate stop. Also, there is an element of some letter box construction, a semaphore arm that is raised to indicate to the postman that there is outgoing mail in the letter box.

The term "red flag" is used, e.g., during screening of communications, and refers to specific words or phrases encountered that might indicate relevance to the case. For example, email spam filters make use of such "red flags".

For PEACE yes

...I was going back to the topic.

If I met a guy and he told me upfront he has an alcohol problem, I would take that into consideration and weigh out my options because pursuing a relationship with him…now that’s me for personal reasons.

Everyone should question any situation and doesn't have to be about this 'marriages and divorces' and our decisions are based on our own personal needs so we will be different to each other.

Better to question it than to be sorry later!

I didn't see your question as an attack, Sin... I was merely pointing out that you have to take it case by case. There are many things that raise a red flag for me...
for instance:
-guys who live at home with their parents: DEAL BREAKER.
-guys who don;t work: deal breaker....

We all have pasts. I believe everyone has the ability to change for the better... and I believe a person's past should not define who they are.
Divorce- Red Flag, in today's society? No. I'm from Chicago... pretty much everyone here is divorced or has been. I can understand smaller towns that maybe it's a bit more taboo... but here in the big city, there are worse things to view as RED FLAGS than a person's failed marriage(s).

how did the discussion go to the terminology of flags

the only thing it means to me is that if a person had a divorce once or 1000 times, it means that they've been divorced...

i'd be more inclined to weigh out how they are, and not the divorce..

some folks are bitter at having to stand in line at starbucks, so if they're like that about a divorce? who cares how many times they've been divorced... they're bitter..

the only red flags that I see when i meet people are the following:
1: talks neg about an ex

2: blurts out their entire medical and mental illness history within 10 minutes of meeting them

3: goes to AA, CA, NA or any <whatever>A meeting, because they're taught to live in denial and blame inanimate objects, so they have accountability and reality issues

4: mocks and laughs at other people's expense (shows an overwhelming insecurity and weakness of character, high chance of envy and subversion)

5: materialistic (they're shallow)

that pretty much covers it...

for the rest i could care less if they're a midget hermaphrodite with buck teeth and a lisp that needs to screech out "release the hounds" every 20 minutes becuase of some bhuddist mantra they learned while misunderstanding a guy in burma who was choking on peppers that really said, "oh betsy this burns!!!"

LMAO, he said midget hemephrodite!!!

but what if most of what you have to say bout an ex is negative cuz thats the type of person he is? like it always sounds like im puttin mine down or talkin s*** on him, but everything ive said is truth.only thing i can say good for him is he opens doors.other than that he lies, cheats and steals, hes abusive. i dont say these things as to put him down, but so you know where im coming from. so does that mean i talk negative about him? its not an exeggeration, its not a load of garbage, its just how he is

" 4: mocks and laughs at other people's expense (shows an overwhelming insecurity and weakness of character, high chance of envy and subversion) "


Just adding it to the resume, as deemed, judged, assesed, and tried...

and found GUILTY.

(heaven forbid anyone have a sense of humour, and mocks themselves....wonder what label/psychosis that fits under...that's half of Australia shot to bits.)