Deception? Learn to read body language, read the eyes, they speak more than words. Intuition helps too.

double post. Nothing more to add.

My neighbour died. She was a strong, independent woman who lived alone and didn't need anyone. She was capable of taking care of everything on her own.
We were similar and she wasn't much older than me.
I am a bit sad now. :-(
I do not need anyone and manage just fine on my own, but hope to find a soul mate to make both of our lives more beautiful, more meaningful.
However, it doesn't seem to work and I am slowly getting used to being alone like her.
I can be lonely sometimes, but I am far from desperate and willing to settle in meaningless FWB or NSA type of relationship.
It's just a bit sad to see so many game players around. Honest doesn't mean stupid, but it may result in living alone.
That's what I learned so far.

Honesty... My sister-in-law has told me I should not be honest about my fibromualgia, and my pain issues. She says "let them get to know you first". I myself prefer to be upfront and honest about it. Sadly, people do run for the hills. I'd much rather they did it before I become attached. I don't actually blame anyone who's honest about their inability to deal and runs from it. I would if I could!!

I've read all the prior posts and it's been a roller coaster of positive and negative replies! For example - if it's job related and someone was bested out of a position or job advancement then the honesty value seems to be...well that really sucks and that's life and that's how you get a head 'by cheating'! But is it really? Or were we just bested by someone willing to put themselves out there and use whatever foot hold that they saw as an advantage at that single one moment to get that edge up...even if it meant going over our heads to gain the advantage? Isn't that what we are all taught'?'...get out there and GO Concur the World and make our mark in it?

Honesty - that ole double edged blade---tell someone the truth about something that they are wearing; 'yes, that is really making your back side look like a bus backing up' and you'll offend them and most likely have them never speak to you again! Or lie to them as that woman on the bicycle with those yoga pants and the green G-string photo {that I placed on the other thread}...I mean who LIED to her and let her walk out of her room wearing that for the entire world too see and weren't a good friend enough to tell her??? Would you have allowed that to happen - even to someone you weren't that close to? There's the twist - just how HONEST to we want people to be with us --- where do we want them to draw that line of brutality and spare my feelings?

Honor - when I shut off the light and go to bed and have put this day behind me for the day; have I done the right thing in all instances - have I done what I should do - have I been the best human that I could have been to everyone? I don't know...but I'll always HOPE that I have been!

BTW - there'd be NO WAY IN HELLS � ACRE THAT THAT YOUNG LADY WOULD HAVE GOTTEN ON THAT BICYCLE WITHOUT AT LEAST A HEAD'S UP FROM ME ABOUT THAT REAR VIEW SHE WAS GIVING THE WORLD!!!

I couldn't agree more. "honesty is the best policy" doesn't seem to apply anymore. Speaking from experience.....being honest has done nothing but screw me over time and again.

I would have told her. But that's how I win friends and influence people. Not.

An alternate way to think about and deal with this:

Honesty isn't sacrificed by your not mentioning your infirmity/challenge/whatever. Not mentioning it up front isn't hiding it or lying about it. It's more along the lines of accepting the larger picture, which includes that everyone has problems about them, some of which matter more than others.

There are pluses and minuses to this choice, but the pluses and minuses to going the other way are no better.

If you spell it out in advance, you wont lose anyone who you would want to be involved with anyway (the ones who would cut and run when they do find out), but you also open the door to the people who chase people with challenges because they think they will be more desperate, as well as people who have a weird fetish about people with handicaps.

If you wait to let people know later, you wont lose the ones who don't mind, but you have to accept more rejection once you do let them know.

As I said before, it's about behaving honorably.

Honesty is best but there is always repercussions no matter what you do and nobody likes the truth especially if they already know and don't wanna know or hear it

It's not fear... it's knowledge. We know that once we commit women get lazy and stop trying... stop trying to look nice, smiling, flirting, and stop doing most of the things we were attracted to.

If you want to meet their evil twin... just commit.

^ Do I detect a hint of venom in your tone?

Nah...he sounds like the sweetest, most attentive guy on Mingle that we would ever want to commit to.

Maybe he has a brother? lol

Dishonest people never progress,they only take 4 step foward and 7 back.

In my book, honesty is the only policy.
Besides, my honesty is all I have anymore.

Trully, in these times, HONESTY (*whispers) is such a lonely word...

If it is true, then you are the last of your kind. There is not such thing as a situation in which you can avoid lying.

Sometimes, in some situations, lying is ideal. But it's beat to usually be honest.

I am going to stick with honesty for a couple of reasons. It is going to complicate your life a lot less than lies will and it is way easier to deal with a constant truth and build on it than something shifting that will eventually collasp everything you try to accomplish.

All truths are sometimes painful, even with the best intent, but unlike a lie that cuts you twice for only misery , at least a truth sometimes it is a surgical correction.

The whole concept is someone wins by cheating is smarter or entitled kind of falls apart when it happens to you and you get to feel the pain of it. I figure may take a while but what goes around comes around. The older I get the more I see it.

I know an old coot that is laying in the hospital and his life time of getting over on people (Lying, cheating, stealing any way he could from family, neighbors, employers, businesses, strangers, and even those who tried to help him ) is catching up on him in a big way. Hospital can't cure him, so they are going to turf him, and all the people are looking the other way as he lays in his own misery to die alone.

Justice seems to have a sense of humor because weather it is Karma or God or just the "little people" of the world that sometimes seem to get mowed down when it catches up natural justice can be brutal.

Honesty is a good thing but like some others have said, it can be used as a weapon. There are kind ways to be honest and cruel ways to be honest. It all depends on which path you decide to take with your words. I would rather have the truth even if it hurts but at least I know.

I'll give some examples of why it's better to be upfront with people:


You're feet smell awful. You can't smell them, but your friend stood next to you can. I'd much rather someone told me that my feet were smelling bad, rather than make me look stupid by not telling me. Even it hurt my feelings, slightly.


A male friend is wanting to have me as his lover. He likes me more than I like him. He tries to get me to give him a huge kiss. I'm more attracted to someone else. If I didn't make it clear to him, I'd only be giving him false hope.


If I end up having a huge crush on a man. I'd rather tell him. The longer I put it off, the longer I suffer, while he just keeps doing his thing.