Personally, I think having a same-sex relationship when you're in a heterosexual relationship mitigates the fact that it's cheating by about 2.7%. Males and females offer different sexual experiences - we have to, because of basic anatomy if nothing else. So it makes the situation 2.7% more "okay" because you're not looking for something that your husband could give you, you're looking for a new/different experience.
If, for example, you were seeing a boyfriend on the side, then that raises serious questions about what you're not getting from your husband, and whether you've informed him of that, etc, etc. Standard "Why do you think you have to cheat?" questions. People CAN learn in relationships, if one or both partners take the time to communicate the lack of satisfaction.
However, if you're looking to your own gender/the other gender, then you're looking for something (even just basic anatomy) that you can't and won't be getting from your spouse/the other other gender.

But this only improves the situation by 2.7%. Even if you have your husband's "permission", it still speaks to a lack of loyalty and commitment to your relationship (and probably your husband's as well). It's easy to remain committed if you don't want anybody else, but it's when you do want somebody else but remain true to your spouse that means real loyalty. If you're not looking for loyalty and commitment out of your spouse, or you're not providing it to your spouse, why'd you bother wasting the time and money getting married?

Jesus wept

No Tali, you have to do more than hint...You have to have an in depth talk with your man....There is a lot to discuss and he will have questions...Also be prepared for the consequences...Telling him you want to be intimate with another woman could destroy your marriage...

Tali69 I always believed it's every man's fantasy to have a threesome with two females at some point in his life. What can be better if the guy's wife happens to be the one who willingly get a third party to join in. So if break up with your hubby in the future (not that i wish for that but just saying) then I'll be right here waiting for you babes. With me you can feel free to explore your bi side as much as you like.

Again i disagree coz it's never been my fantasy to have a 3 some with two females....i only fantasize about the woman i'm involved with & nobody else ever crosses my mind except my significant other....

That's what in the back of my mind!

I'm not quite understanding this. What is "went all the way yet" mean with another female? I mean there's either oral or ??? There is no "all the way" with female on female.

Am I to understand your male husband/partner is unaware? If that is the case that is sad you are deceiving him. He deserves to know. Cheating is cheating whether with a male or female. Just my thinking. I don't know your circumstances and am sorry you are driven to this or hope this is an anomaly for you.

He knows. At first, when the feeling arrived, I just hinted around the subject of me having a female lover. His response was accepting. I got on this site and the reality of it.... I think he may have thought I wasn't genuine. I have spoken to a female from the site, but since I'm feeling a little resistance on his part, I wasn't sure to persist on. So I spoke to him again, this time saying exactly what it is I want. It still was a "If that's what you want to do" reaction. I didn't know how to process that, so I'm continuing my search. I feel if its not something he's okay with, it should have come up already. I don't want to be classified as a cheater, I love me husband. We just don't get much time together because of his work.
I simply am confused and sexually frustrated.

Can I watch please

Sounds like there are issues beyond you seeing another female. If you love your husband then I would tread very carefully. Maybe more communication and get some romance back into your relationship. This is easy for me to say. But if you love him then a third person is just going to complicate things I'd think. Good luck to you.

Thanks!

Talk to your man again but this time mention it that you want it with a Male & see what his reaction is

...is the same as a married man with a girlfriend. Wrong! Just divorce, no trial separation or bullspit like that. If you love him set him free. He'll be back after you've had all the girlfriends you want. Or not. What you're doing hurts like hell, even if he won't admit it.

But you will.. because you really want to.

and only you know if you should tell him or not because only you know if this is just a fantasy that you want to fulfill.. or the real thing

ARE THE RISKS REALY WORTH IT ?.....WOULD YOU DO IT JUST FOR SEX OR

ARE THERE EMOTIONAL NEEDS NOT BEING MET ?......I KNOW AS BOYS AND

GIRLS WE WERE RAISED TO DEAL WITH OUR FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS

DIFFERENTLY WHICH CAUSES A LOT OF PROBLEMS IN RELATIONSHIPS....ITS

REALY HARD NOW ADAYS TO MAKE A DEEP INTIMATE CONNECTION EMOTIONALY

BETWEEN MATES WITH ALL THE DISTRACTIONS IN LIFE.....COUPLES NEED EMOTIONAL CONNECTIONS THAT ARE BENEFICIAL TO BOTH AT THE SAME TIME TO MAKE THE CONNECTION AND KEEP IT.....

ARE THE RISKS REALY WORTH IT ?.....WOULD YOU DO IT JUST FOR SEX OR

ARE THERE EMOTIONAL NEEDS NOT BEING MET ?......I KNOW AS BOYS AND

GIRLS WE WERE RAISED TO DEAL WITH OUR FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS

DIFFERENTLY WHICH CAUSES A LOT OF PROBLEMS IN RELATIONSHIPS....ITS

REALY HARD NOW ADAYS TO MAKE A DEEP INTIMATE CONNECTION EMOTIONALY

BETWEEN MATES WITH ALL THE DISTRACTIONS IN LIFE.....COUPLES NEED

EMOTIONAL CONNECTIONS THAT ARE BENEFICIAL TO BOTH AT THE SAME TIME

TO MAKE THE CONNECTION AND KEEP IT.....

That went..... He suddenly had an opinion! The answer was "no"

I see your point

a cheater is a cheater, no matter how gay it is or isn't...