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| Topic: The Reason Chivalry Is Dead | |
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The current generation of kids and new parents aren't as smart as past generations when it comes to respect and manners. It's the times of sycophantic validation, no one gives back unless they get something back. I guess for some this may be true... But what I have seen from my kids and their friends I disagree.  Not saying that it does not happen as you point out cause it does... Even those in my generation I have found some that feels they should get back before they give back... Those that feel that the world owes them instead are the ones I stay away from completely... |
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i still do this...All I know is, the more I look around, the less I see men treating women the way that we’re raised to. What happened to paying for dinners and drinks? What happened to pulling out chairs and holding doors? What happened to walking on the outside, closest to the street and all that ****? when i can that is , some lady's want to pay there own way (50/50 split till later in the relationship)and trying to open automatic door open for some one (makes me look more of a clown then i all ready am) <shrug> but that is the way i was raised send me a text or a email like this and you are likely to get no answer or stuck on ignore all together ..... When did it become acceptable to just text a girl, inviting her to come bang? now this part i have noticed We no longer have to put in the effort of flowers, chocolates, dates, etc., and if we do, we come off as stage-five clinger I agree with you that texting lacks class. I usually offered to pay 50/50 when I go out as if a man buys dinner; he expects sex. As for gifts; I can only speak for myself but gifts don't do it for me. I don't want gifts to compensate for him ignoring me or using it as a shallow apology if we disagreed on something, or using it to get sex. The best gift a man could ever give me is his attention when I need to talk. |
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The current generation of kids and new parents aren't as smart as past generations when it comes to respect and manners. It's the times of sycophantic validation, no one gives back unless they get something back. I guess for some this may be true... But what I have seen from my kids and their friends I disagree. Not saying that it does not happen as you point out cause it does... Even those in my generation I have found some that feels they should get back before they give back... Those that feel that the world owes them instead are the ones I stay away from completely... It's a culture thing too. I admire folks who never expect anything back as an incentive for good gestures. It really depends on what you hold as a value. Just saying, even in the nicer neighborhoods, no crime, affluent, nobody comes outside of their shallow fantasy bubble of "me, me, me." People are afraid of eye contact or even a genuine smile. Hugs? No way. |
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Courtesy is also in the definition.  Having read the entire thread, it seems to me like no one read this posting. The dictionary does define chivalry as "the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight," referring to medieval knights, but that isn't the only definition. It also defines chivalry as "a man's courteous behavior, especially towards women." I think we can all agree that medieval knights are a thing of the past, but in my opinion, a man who is not courteous, defined as "polite, kind, or considerate," isn't much of a man. I see acts such as opening a door for a woman as being polite and considerate. A REAL man, however, doesn't feel that his masculinity is threatened when a woman is "kind" enough to open the door for him. Neither is a woman much of a woman if she doesn't appreciate it when a man is simply being courteous. |
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Courtesy is also in the definition. Having read the entire thread, it seems to me like no one read this posting. The dictionary does define chivalry as "the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight," referring to medieval knights, but that isn't the only definition. It also defines chivalry as "a man's courteous behavior, especially towards women." I think we can all agree that medieval knights are a thing of the past, but in my opinion, a man who is not courteous, defined as "polite, kind, or considerate," isn't much of a man. I see acts such as opening a door for a woman as being polite and considerate. A REAL man, however, doesn't feel that his masculinity is threatened when a woman is "kind" enough to open the door for him. Neither is a woman much of a woman if she doesn't appreciate it when a man is simply being courteous. Well said. 
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Edited for off-Topic.
soufie Site Moderator |
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We're all children of men who did something right to deserve to have a next generation. If none of our fathers were chevaliers, then I guess chivalry didn't work on our mothers.
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Edited by
indianadave4
on
Mon 11/17/14 06:49 PM
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In order for "chivalry" TO exist, it requires that men see women as "lesser than" creatures TO themselves. Documentation to validate the above philosophy please. Under chivalry women were recognized as different not less. In fact, to some degree women were put on a pedestal. |
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In order for "chivalry" TO exist, it requires that men see women as "lesser than" creatures TO themselves. Documentation to validate the above philosophy please. Under chivalry women were recognized as different not less. In fact, to some degree women were put on a pedestal. http://www.historylearningsite.co.uk/medieval_women.htm Highlights: ...Medieval England was not a comfortable place for most women... A few women lived comfortable lives but Medieval society was completely dominated by men and women had to know 'their place' in such a society... ...Women had little or no role to play within the country at large... ...Within a village, women would have done many of the tasks men did on the land. However, they were paid less for doing the same job...In a male dominated society, no woman would openly complain about this disparity... ...In medieval towns, women would have found it difficult to advance into a trade as medieval guilds frequently barred women from joining them. Therefore, a skilled job as recognised by a guild was usually out of reach for any woman living in a town. Within towns, women were usually allowed to do work that involved some form of clothes making but little else... ...For many women, a life as a servant for the rich was all they could hope for. Such work was demanding and poorly rewarded... The law, set by men, also greatly limited the freedom of women. Women were * not allowed to marry without their parents' consent * could own no business with special permission * not allowed to divorce their husbands * could not own property of any kind unless they were widows * could not inherit land from their parents' if they had any surviving brothers... ...Girls had no choice over who they married and many girls from rich families were usually married to someone as a political gesture or because it was an advantage to the girl's family itself - as opposed to what the girl herself wanted. Once married, the young lady came under the control of her husband.... ...Producing a male heir within a rich family was considered vital. So many women spent a great deal of their married life pregnant. However, childbirth was dangerous as medical care was so poor. It is thought that as many as 20% of all women died in childbirth and it was the most common cause of death among young women. "Lesser than". You're welcome.  |
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the belief something should be given to self or done for self create an entitlement, that stops the flow of free equal caring, and turns what was true caring actions, into a set of demands and expectations, and no one will rightfully so want to give to expectations become demands for very long, whether it be fe or male.
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it isnt dead and i love it.
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it seems the question should be more accurately, what can stop someone from wanting to engage in chivalry...
for chivalry it self obviously cannot die, but perhaps some may not see how to create it or what they them self may be doing to stop it from flowing freely. Long life and prosperous days to sincere chivalry! |
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it doesnt take words, it is the actions of the man towards the woman. it means alot, i love if a man wants to show me something special, it warms my heart
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Edited by
davidben1
on
Mon 11/17/14 09:03 PM
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if a man bestow chivalry upon a fe, he deem she worthy of it, and if a fe bestow chivalry upon a male, she deem he be worthy of it, but the tell of heart break or hearts love lie in why each be bestowing such upon the other...
for a many a heartbreaks were preceded by grand chivalry indeed. Some that give the most, expect the most, and expects most always quickly become harsh demands, that have brought many a tears and abuse. Fine fine navigating unto all. |
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