Okay, so I met this guy on Mingle and we have been talking from some time. I wasn't into him at first but he kept saying he was looking forward to starting a relationship with me. So I decided to give him a try. Well after sometime into knowing him, I asked him to delete my Mingle account. I expected that he would stop using his for a while as well as he was the one asking for a serious relationship whereas I was the one who kept emphasizing casual. I didn't expect him to delete his account altogether... Just plain decency not to double time me.

Well he told me that he's on no other social networking site. And that all his 'friends' are on Mingle. I never realised that this site was used for purposes other than dating. I mean I do check out forums and communities and I'm glad the site has discussions on science and all that. But isn't this site used primarily for dating? He tells me that I'm very wrong and that he has over 450 friends here. I really wouldn't know unless I saw other people using this site on par with other social networking sites. In fact, I even showed him the front page of this site that says it's a dating site. Besides his status reads looking for a woman for dating. What do you guys use this site for? Thoughts? Do you think he's just keeping his options open? Should I do the same? Because I myself am not up for serious if he's going to be dishonest. I just asked him to choose a direction... Casual or serious... I'm just baffled why he says serious if he wants to have a profile ready to ask to date others. I'm just a very open minded girl and I don't know why he's behaving so secretively.

Well I use it to make friends! However I have found someone I'm really into from this site. I simply just don't come on too often because him & hi text or speak on the phone. I think you should follow your heart. I do think that it could be used to make friends or find love, but it's up to the individual.

Your friend could be a scammer from Nigeria for all I know (450 friends?), however many of us are just here for friends and discussion on the forums. You need some more REAL information on a person other than just what they tell you.

@metalwing . no he ain't. But yes that too is a big problem on this site. People from Nigeria befriending you and then asking you to get married lol or assist them financially.

@countrylicious I highly doubt that men use this site to make just friends when there are alternatives like fb where you can easily check how real a profile is.

It's by definition a social networking site setup for the purpose of dating, since you have to socially network to find dates.
But people also find that social networking by default also tends to form friendships.

Being no right or wrong way to be yourself and enjoy your life, what you're suggesting is really that you two might have incompatable views on this particular subject. He is quite right from his point of view, but so are you when something simply makes you feel uncomfortable.

It is perhaps not so much that he should disavow the site as a social networking routine just because the webmaster intended it as a site for daters to meet.
It is perchance that he should consider how important web browsing is to him when his actual physical partner is feeling uncomfortable about it.

I take it you are actually physical partners that spend physical time together in the real world and not e-partners that have never met? If you're just e-partners then okiedoodle, we'll all just back out of the thread slowly now...

Op if he shows a still looking for in his site ...then that is just not having friends in here... if he really wanted a serious relationship ...they would up date their profile mentioning they found someone and just here for friends ... and I would not delete my site or sites ...if they did not... many say just here for the forums & friends ... good luck with that ...

the site is a social networking site, most 'dating' sites will not have a forum for casual discussions and topics, only profiles and some type of direct message system

I use it for conversation with adults, and the options given for profiles include friendship,, I believe

so, I wouldn't be so sure this is 'primarily' for dating, but I would take more into consideration what the person lists as THEIR reason on their profile,, it may be for friends or for dating, and that's something they can edit and change whenever they choose...

It sounds like a minor case of insecurity to me...

At some point, you have to trust someone. If you go looking for something, eventually you'll find it.

If it blossoms into something serious, trust he will make the right decisions and does what he says he is doing.

If not, move on....

I believe so far that this a social site,,,dating site ? no.

In my opinion this is primarily a dating site, although many members are here for just the social side and not looking to date right now, I have read ' Only here for the Forums' in quite a few profiles.

I can understand how you feel regarding you both staying on a dating site when in a serious relationship, as others have said, you need to discuss it further with your partner.

This site was created as dating chat but it turns out its more effective be a social media site... People came here at first wanted to try this dating sites but as things progress its a friendlier place were met and make friends with other people here.. Plus we can share our own views and opinions on various topics...

This site was created as a Dating/Social site from the beginning.. Many dating sites have forums just that some members never realize it..

Yes the forums are normally more populated with those that are there for the Social part of the site. In the process at times they end up finding someone through the forums that are more then just friends.

Normally those that join a site that is there for dating only stay out of the forums...And makes all responses through e-mail and IM.

This site is not just one or the other and never has been.

Hope that clears a few things up....


Site Mod
Kristi

Yes it is. Women keep ignoring messages, that's why the forums are so active.

Maybe they read what you post in the forums. Just saying..

450... I can't even get" two people" to talk to me.....lol..
.. and I believe it's a dating/ social site...
.. if he is just using the forums..
to chit chat with his.. many many many many friends...lol.. I would not see a problem with it!!!.....
.. but if he. is private messaging.. off site.. with other women...hmmm... I as a rule.. let the person I'm serious about no. that I will stop talking offsite... with other women... but im going to remain on the forums..
.. this way she can always see for herself.. who I'm talking with...
.. but I make them aware that I'm a huge flirt....lmao..

I see no harm in using it as both of those things. The friends I've made here are awesome. Being in a relationship, isn't all sunshine and butterflies. It can be rocky, sometimes. Depends who you get with.