I'm pretty much resigned to the fact now that I'm never going to get a relationship to work and I don't want to be bitter about it. Better to have loved and lost and all of that jazz. In a way it's quite liberating. I'm a single guy after all and it seems to me that if I just stop expecting more from women than they are prepared to give me I can just make the most of it and enjoy it for what it is while it lasts. If I had just done that in the past things might have worked out better I think and I could still have had a woman in my life, albeit just on a no-strings basis.

I'm pretty much resigned to the fact now that I'm never going to get a relationship to work and I don't want to be bitter about it. Better to have loved and lost and all of that jazz. In a way it's quite liberating. I'm a single guy after all and it seems to me that if I just stop expecting more from women than they are prepared to give me I can just make the most of it and enjoy it for what it is while it lasts. If I had just done that in the past things might have worked out better I think and I could still have had a woman in my life, albeit just on a no-strings basis.

There is a lot to be said for stopping the search.

One, you will be more yourself, when nothing is at stake.

Two, you may have the pleasure of the moment as opposed
to the long-term plan.

And thirdly, the first two will likely make you that much
more attractive, someone who wants/seeks nothing, can be
ever so enticing :-)

THAT is when lightning can strike.

Yeah, I'm not looking at the Mo, Sophie

There is a lot to be said for stopping the search.

One, you will be more yourself, when nothing is at stake.

Two, you may have the pleasure of the moment as opposed
to the long-term plan.

And thirdly, the first two will likely make you that much
more attractive, someone who wants/seeks nothing, can be
ever so enticing :-)

THAT is when lightning can strike.

Most of us enjoy the solitude too much, friends are better than the constant "search"

I don't have any problem commiting to a relationship. Just can't really find anyone that wants that from me. Not really, although I've had girlfriends expecting me to be there for them when they wanted me to be.

Sure, there are things that I can do like getting back to my studies and finishing my masters degree and trying to get involved in something where I would be getting out more and meeting new people again. I did intend to do a few positive things this year but it's been hard just getting over what went on in my life last year. I felt that I had a good start to this year when I got a date with a woman that I met from this site and we even had one of those deep conversations where it was like we were reading each other's minds but I suppose that I wasn't sure that I wanted to get romantically involved with her and she wasn't prepared to just get to know each other a bit before jumping into that. Maybe I just didn't fancy her that much but in the past I've not let it put me off when I had reservations about women that I met.

I just feel that I can't get the sort of woman that is what they used to call "the marrying kind". The ones that I do get on with don't want anything serious or can't really handle that and then when it starts to get serious it's over. Then I'm left feeling that what I had with them was actually pretty good and that I blew it by wanting it to be more than it was.

Cool story bro,

Well, it's a proven fact that liberal minded men, no offense, are much less valued by "the marrying kind", which is mostly conservative women with good morals and family values. They generally tend to look for "problem solvers", guys who care about things...like their country for example. Bottom line is...if your going to find what your looking for, you have to give it an honest effort. When I say..what are some things you could change about yourself, I don't mean actually change your personality...you honestly can't. You could try, but it would only result in contradicting yourself and ultimately driving yourself crazy, especially if it was to please a women. You've just got to be honest with yourself and come to terms with who you really are. Listen to your conscience, are you doing the best that you can as far as what's right and what's wrong? You have to give to receive. Nature always finds a balance. Right and wrong aren't very difficult things to understand, it's actually applying them that many people seem to have trouble with. Women, especially the kind you speak of, tend to notice someone who puts forth an effort to help out instead of people who want to degrade everything that stands in their way. There's nothing really wrong with you...it's almost always the fashion of in which you go about looking for what it is you seek(men in general). Some common things women look for in a marriage is competence, reliability, consistency, and loyalty. Due to the fact that modern society has seemingly became so "tolerant" and "open minded", 2/3 of marriages now days end in divorce. So...what you have to do if you are looking for a lifetime commitment is to sit down, figure out exactly what you want in a life time partner, and then put that to work for yourself. When you start talking to women again, start asking more questions pertaining to your standards for compatibility. You want a woman that you are compatible with if you are to share your life together...trust me. Think about your own views, ask her questions pertaining to that, not all at once, just gradually. For example: how do you feel about firearms? Myself, being extremely pro firearm and an avid hunter, I would have to have a lady who doesn't mind guns, and that was just a mild example, you have to work your way into more important things like religion, and politics, things that really reflect the lady's moral values. If you ever find what your looking for, then take pride in her, take care of her and she'll take care of you. If you really put forth an honest effort, you will have no doubt in your mind that you can have faith in the woman. You will have taken initiative to ask her questions, spend time with her, and this don't happen over night..this can take anywhere from at least 8 months to a year, maybe more depending on many variables.
be there for her, be dependable, you can't just quit every time things get a little bit difficult, you must maintain confidence, not only for yourself but for the sake of the relationship, and for the welfare of your family. i hope this helps you out man...take care...and good luck

There is a lot to be said for stopping the search.

One, you will be more yourself, when nothing is at stake

Man, I come from quite a conservetive family but my sister is way more liberal and PC than I am in a lot of ways and she's the one that's happily married. If I came out with anything even remotely racist or sexist or homophobic she would be extremely pissed off with me. Being "liberal minded" has very little to do with it. I can think of at least three of my sister's friends that have a liberal outlook that I would consider to be serious relationship material if I could get anywhere with them. They are just too "classy" for me and that's the problem. I don't like to say snooty but my sister is a bit. I don't click with posh types at all. I can get on with them to a certain extent but I don't fit in with that crowd and those liberal types consider me to be a chauvinist.

That woman that I dated in January was a socialist and that was one of the reasons that we didn't click. I grew up in the eighties and even though I couldn't stand Thatcher either, I couldn't be doing with trendy left wing PC types. I got talking with that woman about philosophy because that's my thing and she said that she had read Marx. Well, my favorite philosophers are Nietzsche and Heidegger. One of my favorite books is Heidegger's Nietzsche lectures and those were delivered during the war. The guy was in the Nazi party, for Christ's sake. Look at how I'm dressed in my profile picture. I look like I'm in the bloody Gestapo. Nah mate, becoming more conservetive is the last thing that I want to do if I want to get a bird.