if someone quits talking to you after you tell them you have children its better that they quit talking to you because they are not the right one for you the right one will care for you and your kids best of luck to you

yes agree with

singmesweet


:)
ofcoz not even a single problem that i have with children.
children are just after than god...


if i get the chance to a lady with children,
with a lots of love i marry her with accepting her children :)

Did you say "dads", as in more than one?

When I was younger I never had a issue with not getting a date due to my kids.... Nor did I have one if they had kids...

Honestly at 22 and 3 kids that would scare some guys for they are just starting out and not ready for a full blown family...

Give it time you will find one that your kids are not a factor...

Myself at my age I seek those that their kids are grown.... I've raised mine and ready to enjoy life with out having to worry about kids...

In all honesty, the fact that a 22-year-old woman already has 3 children - and the children don't have the same father - is enough for a single man to question the fitness of the mother. The man may have no objection to the children, but, instead, consider the mother to be somehow flawed.

In contrast, should a 32-year-old woman be widowed or be divorced because her husband committed adultery, and should that woman have three children, then a single man might not see anything wrong with the woman.

In other words, the premise of this thread is flawed. It isn't necessarily that a single man doesn't want to date a woman with 3 children. It could just be that a single man doesn't want to date a (in his opinion) flawed woman who just happens to have 3 children.

I don't see that a woman is flawed due to having 3 kids at such a young age...

It does happen and it does scare some guys off...

But if a guy is truly interested in them they will not run off...

It is a matter of what one can and can not deal with or a preference not to date those with kids....

If a 22-year-old widow with 3 children got married at the age of 18, first gave birth at the age of 19, and two of her children are twins - or if the same woman were divorced because her husband committed adultery - and the children all had the same father ...


... then the woman would appear to a single man as being a victim of circumstance beyond her control.

Still, a single man of the same age may not consider himself to be ready to financially support a wife and 3 children.

Anyway, the author of the OP hasn't proven that her children are the sole reason that men don't want to date her. Men could be perceiving a problem that the OP's author hasn't considered.

If I was in my early 20's and JUST MET a woman and she had 3 kids I could see how I may not wish to pursue a relationship with her. Maybe I want a family, but not immediately, or of my own lineage. You can't blame someone for that. After all, the children's natural fathers weren't interested in staying around, right? I'm not trying to be harsh, just realistic.

But I don't believe they are judging you as a person. Whether directly or indirectly, they are being honest in letting you know that they are interested in dating and fun not being a "daddy" or "family guy". And that standard line of not trying to find a father for your kids doesn't ease the pressure. Would you rather a man pretend it's fine with him, get a little action, and then a few months down the road bail on you and your children? I mean that hurts, right?

Someday your prince will come. I've been the guy that wasn't interested in a woman with kids and I've been the guy that had a relationship with a woman and helped raise her kids. Relax. You'll be fine.

Plenty of single mothers do not get rejected because they are mothers. So, there may be more to the story in the OP than the author of the OP is telling.

well my children do have different dads my oldest two have the same dad and my youngest has a different one my oldest twos dad left when i got pregnant with my daughter... so don't judge me alright.... I'm not a slut like most girls my age

First, I consider it rude to call any woman a slut. Indeed, it is being judgmental to call a woman a slut. So, if you are opposed to others judging you, then don't be judging others.

Second, "slut" is in the eye of the beholder. For example, some Humans might consider a woman to be a slut if the woman became pregnant outside of marriage. Granted, I would disagree with such Humans. Nevertheless, the definition of "slut" is subjective.

Anyway, my point still stands. Your OP may be presenting a false dilemma. As I said earlier, plenty of single mothers do not get rejected because they are mothers. So, there may be more to the story in the OP than you are telling.

I've never had a guy tell me he wasn't interested because I had children. If he did I wouldn't think much on it. I'd understand. My kids are great, they've taught me so many things. They humble me, humiliate me haha, love me, make me responsible, this list goes on. I'm a better woman because of them. So If a guy is not interested because i have kids that's him not me or my kids!

This. ^^^

Realcarebear has kids and has never been married, and yet, there are several guys here who would love to have her as a girlfriend. So, the premise of this discussion thready is faulty.

not for me

Pffff... Sometimes wished this forum had more subforums and/or search option. We've had this subject about a gazillion time, and marvelous explanations as to why not.

The OP can't really be blamed for being nr. 1000 with this question, but I really wished Mingle would do something about this repetitive stuff, so regular Minglers wouldn't have to keep answering the same stuff over and over and over.
To be honest, don't really understand why they do. No offense, OP, but well, sigh...

Uh, nobody is forced to read a discussion thread.

Marry me

I'm not looking for a woman with kids as such but that's because I'm interested in just meeting a woman and if she does turn out to have kids, that doesn't put me off and I have dated women with kids, although I might get a bit nervous about it if she started going on about how she was looking for a new daddy for her kids.

I'm forty five. Most of the women that I meet have already had children and I'm not going to let that put me off. Saying that, when I was in my early twenties, I was barely mature enough to handle a woman, let alone one that came along with three young children.

The only thing that really gives me reservations about it sometimes is if it's like I'm on a dating site and the woman isn't local. I'm not prepared to travel but I'll date women that are and if they do have kids at home, that can almost make it impossible.

Hello there! I understand your frustration. Just a question and a suggestion for you. On dating sites I would recommend that you put in your profile that you have children. Of course, it's your choice to put their ages. The fact that they are from different fathers really doesn't have to be a topic for discussion until you get to know each other and have benn dating for while and even then the decision is still up to you.

On behalf of men everywhere, we are biologically hard wired to invest our time to meet someone we hope will be our mate with a woman who have no children. Research supports this, which is why women who at a young age that even have just one child will find it difficult to find a man that does not have any children of their own already. It's just a reality in our society.

On the other hand, if you are open to dating men who are much older than you, then the opportunities for meeting someone increases exponentially. The best suggested age would probably be at least 10+ years your senior. The older the man the better the odds. This is because they are more mature who don't want to or can't have children of their own.

The important thing that has been said here already here is that you both spend a sufficient amount of quality time without the kids. You both have to be comfortable enough in your own relationship to being intro ding the children. Even then the kids should be introduced at a slow pace so that everyone feels comfortable. If it doesn't go well at first, then you need to back off and give it some more time. If the kids see that it's good for you, they should eventually come around and so should he.

Relationships take time to grow. Look as dating as if you were looking for a best friend, because that's a relationship that will last. Trying to hurry things will just lead to further frustration and disappointment you deserve more than that.

When you go out on a date, minimize the amount you talk about them and concentrate on the two of you. Remember that it's your relationship that you are developing and the rest will fall into place.

U rite *but it took beyoung understandable man