Scenario: 10 yr relationship and he cheated on year 2, 3 & 10. (2 kids) And yet I stay with him, what's wrong with thinking maybe this time he'll change? He says he loves me. And even after all of it I still love him. He begs for forgiveness and shows me he's gonna change. What would you do if you were the Cheater? And what would you do if you were the one cheated on?

If I were the cheater I would be doing exactly what he is doing now. I want my old toy and I want my new ones too! I'll say and do what ever it takes. (Three times he has cheated!) If I were being repeatedly cheated on...i would look at myself and say I AM BETTER THAN THIS! Third times a charm and I'm moving on!

No one answer for that. There's people who cheat and will keep doing it, but still love their spouse.
In that case it's asking yourself whether or not you can live with that.
If someone cheats because he doesn't really care about his/her spouse ... Then you gotta ask yourself whether you or not can live with that.
If someone has done it several times, you gotta ask yourself if he/she didn't do it more often than the times you know about.
If someone promises to change, you can bet your @$$ he/she won't. There's a reason for him/her cheating and as long as that reason isn't resolved he/she won't change. So you got to ask yourself whether or not you can live with that.

Bottom line: Ask yourself whether or not you can live with it.

Thought you would've learned your lesson the first time around? He keeps cheating though and you keep taking him back? Why? He's playing you like a Violin and you keep letting him? Time to toughen up and kick his arse into touch, as all you're doing is throwing your life away on this waste of space! He isn't going to change and you deserve better?

Everyone has different standards of acceptable cheating. Are you still happy? Does it have to stop? Some go through a cheating period and stop. Some never stop.

The bottom line is your degree of acceptance and your happiness. If you are unhappy, kick him to the curb. If you want to heal, talk seriously to him and get some counseling. Many relationships survive and many don't cheating. The trick is for you to take control and do something about making it better or ending it.

I guess it all depends how you feel about you and how strong you are and if you can accept it. Think you are the only one that can figure it out I cannot make judgments about your life and I will only hope you will find what makes and keeps u happy

1. I would never put myself into that position..
2. Leave!! Once a cheater will always be a cheater... Respect & Trust were already ruin and we can no longer bring them back like before. Its hard to be in a relationship where you always wonder whats behind your back.

Dump the cheater.

Forgive after the first time? Maybe.

The second time should have been a wake-up call.

Did you really stick with the cheater because you loved him, or did you stick with him because you were afraid that no other man would want you?

I won't cheat-Never Have, Never Will!! I've "always ended" a relationship,then moved on!! Of course i give ever opportunity for a good relationship as well!! Free Advice (for what its worth)"time to Move On!!"

When a person male or female cheats and they are given a second chance and third chance all the other party is doing is giving them the go ahead to continue the behavior. If you love them and can live with it as Crystal said its up to you. I hope they make you happy enough to ease the gut wrenching feeling of being betrayed.

My ex wife cheated one time was enough for me to put an end to the relationship. Now the next long term relationship I was in. I didn't think with my head about it properly and I let it happen to me a few times. It always made me feel like crud and it got to a point where I broke it off and could no longer enable her to keep cheating on me. Pretty much it got to the point where breaking it off was less painful than the feelings of betrayal. Thats my personal experience on the topic.

Good luck I hope you can find happiness no matter what you decide.

Agree!! And don't stay because (of the Children) they may be better off,And You definitely will be!! I Was a Single Parent of my Daughter! I never badmouthed her mother neither"She found out for herself when she was older!!"

This is what i learned through experience! Cheaters usually cheat
because they feel "they can". They feel they can get away with it, and
if they get caught you will take them back.
The reason i would not take a cheater back is because they can no longer be trusted. I dont want to end up with any "life-changing diseases"! If you cheat on me, go be with that person.

No one has identical standards, even though they
may seek to identify with the other partner.

But there has to be middle ground, where he sees
how much it hurts you and discontinues the bad,
old habits.

If he is not willing, or unable to stop, the
handwriting is on the wall.

What badguy1 said you cheat on me you aint seeing me for s h i t it doesn't matter how long the realtionship has been going on for it's over.

When it comes to relationships there is always that moment when any person decides to cheat or be faithful. They know when it is and they make a CHOICE to do it. It is NOT and accident and they know they are betraying the relationship. AND THE CHILDREN when they do it.

ANYONE who cheats puts the partner's LIFE ON THE LINE. Why?Cal because cheaters don't know what risk they are taking, and DO NOT CARE! WHY?: because they usually cheat with a person who KNOWS they are married or SHOULD. It is not rocket science to find out if someone is married before you have a relationship with them and most CERTAINLY chose to have SEX with them.

IMHO anyone who cheats is putting the WELFARE of the Children on the line because a diseased parent is not going to be able to be a parent at nearly the same capacity as a well parent. Many STD's don't kill but they certain contribute to premature disability and death. Kidney failure and cancer being a couple but often depression being the one that destroys the family in a very cruel way incapacitating the offended spouse or children who almost always know.

ALSO if you really don't want to be around to enjoy your Grandchildren keep allowing a cheating partner to not only destroy your PRESENT life but your FUTURE life also.

A closing thought...true you are not the one who is cheating but there are two concepts that apply to continuing live with a cheat.

(1) WHAT YOU ENDORSE (by allowing) YOU TEACH.

(2) CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE.

If you want your children to have healthy, happy, safe marriages they have to see you model that behavior. If you make yourself a sloppy second you are telling them, the product of what YOU are, that they are worthless human beings to be walked on, humiliated, lied to, and not truly valued or loved. They are taught that FAMILY commitment means nothing. A cheater STEALS form his family EVERY day because they take dignity, trust, time, money, and many other things THEN actually GIVE it to the waste of human flesh that helps them cheat.

the reason he is cheating is because he can get away with it....there is nothing you can or should change about yourself...you are NOT responsible for his bad behavior. He does not deserve more chances. I'd confront the woman he is with now and make sure she knows he's married. then divorce him. make sure the judge knows the details....you'll need the money

I would move on.

If he didn't tell you he had interest in other women, he was unfaithful.

Was you aware he had a tendency to roam?

The judge is not going to give a rat's behind if he cheated; especially if (S).he finds out how long she put up with it he Likely to think you knew it, and did nothing about it, so you get exactly what everyone gets in divorce now days; half. Or half of whatever he hasn't already spent or hidden. If you get the house you get to pay whatever back taxes and repairs have not been done while he has been squandering money on his affairs. Courts spend the average of 20 minutes skimming paper work on the divorce, ask a few basic questions, and follow the reccomendations negotiated out in pretrial arbitration. Arbitrator is not going to care who diddled who.

You really want revenge then get your life together; up grade your skills, fix your credit, repair your car get new tires, finding housing you can really afford; then dump him with zero warning. Let the bimbo have him; then he will get exactly what he deserves. I guarantee he will probably not want her but he will probably shack up with her, she will probably get pregnant to try and keep him, and he will come crying back to you pleading for you take him back. If you do well then you deserve him.