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| Topic: Christmas feelings | |
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Most people state that to them the glass is half full, not half empty. Yet around Christmas they wallow in sorrow and sadness? Crying over someone that died maybe 16 years ago, feeling lonely, unhappy, sad and lost.
And surely there are many ppl here with mixed feelings too. I don't mean any disrespect, but I must admit I don't understand why people can sort of mourn and feel bad for days on end and not see the good they do have? Where has the 'glass is half full' mentality gone? Just heard of someone who's been crying all day long about things and people she lost. And I find myself thinking "Her husband is in for a real great Christmas that way!" Isn't it almost selfish that if you can't handle your own emotions, to drag ppl around you in this tidal wave of sorrow? Again, no disrespect, more like wonder. Wondering how other people can make their own life so miserable, and that of the people around them, people who care and love them? Am I so short-sighted in being positive, the glass is half full, that I don't get this? |
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Whether we ourselves understand or agree with any emotion which is foreign to us is irrelevant. The fact is that there are many things which may cause people to fall into depression, crying for days on end, sometimes for short times and sometimes for longer periods of time, and sometimes these have been known to be the reason for suicides. There are clinically identifiable reasons for these whether we choose to understand them or not. They are real and cause the person to suffer untold grief, even without their choosing to feel that way. My heart goes out in compassion and understanding for them as it is not an easy road to travel in life. Try reading some books on clinical depression as well as other forms of depression...they will be most enlightening. JMHO
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Praying the true meaning of Christmas and the spirit finds their heart!
Merry Christmas Crystal! |
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MISSY MERRY CHRISTMAS!
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MISSY MERRY CHRISTMAS! CareBear Love to you and the kids! 
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Edited by
2KidsMom
on
Mon 12/23/13 05:02 AM
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Most people state that to them the glass is half full, not half empty. Yet around Christmas they wallow in sorrow and sadness? Crying over someone that died maybe 16 years ago, feeling lonely, unhappy, sad and lost. And surely there are many ppl here with mixed feelings too. I don't mean any disrespect, but I must admit I don't understand why people can sort of mourn and feel bad for days on end and not see the good they do have? Where has the 'glass is half full' mentality gone? Just heard of someone who's been crying all day long about things and people she lost. And I find myself thinking "Her husband is in for a real great Christmas that way!" Isn't it almost selfish that if you can't handle your own emotions, to drag ppl around you in this tidal wave of sorrow? Again, no disrespect, more like wonder. Wondering how other people can make their own life so miserable, and that of the people around them, people who care and love them? Am I so short-sighted in being positive, the glass is half full, that I don't get this? I'm not even going to comment on all that..except to give You a (( hug)).
I was sitting here crying and sad.missing my Mother She died in 2007. <3 I am not trying to drag people into my tidal wave Of sorrow* In fact...I shall return when I feel good..n can paste on the always smiling mask~ |
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Whether we ourselves understand or agree with any emotion which is foreign to us is irrelevant. The fact is that there are many things which may cause people to fall into depression, crying for days on end, sometimes for short times and sometimes for longer periods of time, and sometimes these have been known to be the reason for suicides. There are clinically identifiable reasons for these whether we choose to understand them or not. They are real and cause the person to suffer untold grief, even without their choosing to feel that way. My heart goes out in compassion and understanding for them as it is not an easy road to travel in life. Try reading some books on clinical depression as well as other forms of depression...they will be most enlightening. JMHO Aye, there's the core of it. My aunt will feel grief this time of year, her husband was gunned down and she left with three children to raise. I myself am sad that this will be my first Christmas alone, 2000 miles away from family. I'm still really glad to have the life I enjoy, lots of advantages and decades of life still in me to pursue my dreams with, but missing those connections, being without the folk I love most this time of year makes everything else feel a little hollow, empty. What joy is there in life, if not in the people it's shared with? |
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someone who will listen,not judge,not try to fix it, and know one's heart is safe is most cases is all thats needed- being a male i have to resist the fix it habit and really listen-- bottom line if the audience leaves the show closes for everyone-- they do it because there is a payoff -- we humans are always looking for ways to connect when we can not get positive so we take negative the other option looks like nothing-
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Most people state that to them the glass is half full, not half empty. Yet around Christmas they wallow in sorrow and sadness? Crying over someone that died maybe 16 years ago, feeling lonely, unhappy, sad and lost. And surely there are many ppl here with mixed feelings too. I don't mean any disrespect, but I must admit I don't understand why people can sort of mourn and feel bad for days on end and not see the good they do have? Where has the 'glass is half full' mentality gone? Just heard of someone who's been crying all day long about things and people she lost. And I find myself thinking "Her husband is in for a real great Christmas that way!" Isn't it almost selfish that if you can't handle your own emotions, to drag ppl around you in this tidal wave of sorrow? Again, no disrespect, more like wonder. Wondering how other people can make their own life so miserable, and that of the people around them, people who care and love them? Am I so short-sighted in being positive, the glass is half full, that I don't get this? I'm not even going to comment on all that..except to give You a (( hug)).
I was sitting here crying and sad.missing my Mother She died in 2007. <3 I am not trying to drag people into my tidal wave Of sorrow* In fact...I shall return when I feel good..n can paste on the always smiling mask~ Good morning ((((((  Sherrie ))))))...For mom ....I you...
Now to the OP, I am gong to comment because it "Tis The Season"...  ...During the holiday season, there are many triggers which provoke both good and bad feelings Crystal...You ask if you are being short sighted, yes very...And somewhat insensitive too...The holiday season typically begins in November and continues through New Years...The most obvious trigger is media...A constant bombardment depicting happy families, parties, lavish gift giving, romance, "PERFECTION" can lead to excessive self reflection, pressure to spend too much money, family gatherings that include socializing with people we normally avoid...For those of us who have lost loved ones, the holidays trigger memories of better times shared with people we still love and miss....It's easy for most of us to understand and EMPATHIZE with those who normally cope with loneliness, lack of fulfillment, loss, financial hardships, illness, and more falling into depression and sadness during the holidays, most especially Christmas...So to you, I would recommend a beautiful song called "Try A Little Tenderness" to ease your bitterness and impatience toward those who are less fortunate....Merry Christmas and a Safe and Happy New Year to you!! 
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@ 2Kids
Please know I don't mean any disrespect nor to judge anyone. big hug 
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Most people state that to them the glass is half full, not half empty. Yet around Christmas they wallow in sorrow and sadness? Crying over someone that died maybe 16 years ago, feeling lonely, unhappy, sad and lost. And surely there are many ppl here with mixed feelings too. I don't mean any disrespect, but I must admit I don't understand why people can sort of mourn and feel bad for days on end and not see the good they do have? Where has the 'glass is half full' mentality gone? Just heard of someone who's been crying all day long about things and people she lost. And I find myself thinking "Her husband is in for a real great Christmas that way!" Isn't it almost selfish that if you can't handle your own emotions, to drag ppl around you in this tidal wave of sorrow? Again, no disrespect, more like wonder. Wondering how other people can make their own life so miserable, and that of the people around them, people who care and love them? Am I so short-sighted in being positive, the glass is half full, that I don't get this? I'm not even going to comment on all that..except to give You a (( hug)).
I was sitting here crying and sad.missing my Mother She died in 2007. <3 I am not trying to drag people into my tidal wave Of sorrow* In fact...I shall return when I feel good..n can paste on the always smiling mask~ Good morning (((((( Sherrie ))))))...For mom ....I you...
Now to the OP, I am gong to comment because it "Tis The Season"... ...During the holiday season, there are many triggers which provoke both good and bad feelings Crystal...You ask if you are being short sighted, yes very...And somewhat insensitive too...The holiday season typically begins in November and continues through New Years...The most obvious trigger is media...A constant bombardment depicting happy families, parties, lavish gift giving, romance, "PERFECTION" can lead to excessive self reflection, pressure to spend too much money, family gatherings that include socializing with people we normally avoid...For those of us who have lost loved ones, the holidays trigger memories of better times shared with people we still love and miss....It's easy for most of us to understand and EMPATHIZE with those who normally cope with loneliness, lack of fulfillment, loss, financial hardships, illness, and more falling into depression and sadness during the holidays, most especially Christmas...So to you, I would recommend a beautiful song called "Try A Little Tenderness" to ease your bitterness and impatience toward those who are less fortunate....Merry Christmas and a Safe and Happy New Year to you!!
Leigh, I don't think you understand my reasons for questioning. I knew upfront I'd get this type of thing lavished upon me, yet I still chose to post it. Not to upset others, but to be honest, to learn. Maybe you don't see it, I think you can actually, by asking / posting this, I made myself quite vulnerable. I have a lot of experience with loss, but not loss of people passing away, apart from my grandparents. My parents are getting on a bit, so, well ... It sometimes is on my mind, how would I deal with that? How would I feel? I have no idea, and won't know till it happens to me. And because people get upset when you want to learn, get more insight in how it can work etc. you don't ever ask. Then how do you learn? No one ever gets any 'education' when it comes to this as it's taboo. And I know it's a sore subject, especially now, but because of that, it got triggered in me as well. Could explain further, but I will refrain, as I do NOT wish to upset people. If I did, I am truly sorry
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Whether we ourselves understand or agree with any emotion which is foreign to us is irrelevant. The fact is that there are many things which may cause people to fall into depression, crying for days on end, sometimes for short times and sometimes for longer periods of time, and sometimes these have been known to be the reason for suicides. There are clinically identifiable reasons for these whether we choose to understand them or not. They are real and cause the person to suffer untold grief, even without their choosing to feel that way. My heart goes out in compassion and understanding for them as it is not an easy road to travel in life. Try reading some books on clinical depression as well as other forms of depression...they will be most enlightening. JMHO Aye, there's the core of it. My aunt will feel grief this time of year, her husband was gunned down and she left with three children to raise. I myself am sad that this will be my first Christmas alone, 2000 miles away from family. I'm still really glad to have the life I enjoy, lots of advantages and decades of life still in me to pursue my dreams with, but missing those connections, being without the folk I love most this time of year makes everything else feel a little hollow, empty. What joy is there in life, if not in the people it's shared with? Exactly Mark! I have lost too many members of my family expressly around this time of year and although it brings me sadness, I am not overwhelmed. However, sometimes I just think that there is so much going on around us at this time of year that many people tend to forget that it's not what we have around us that should matter, but who is around us and once those persons are missing, there is forever a void left, and a resulting sadness, if not a permanent one, at least a temporary one.
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For clarification, I would like to add that with my OP I was actually not getting at people passing away per say, but loss in general or being alone, as in single, but not per say because your spouse passed away.
I can understand that's what people who have lost loved ones would think about straight away, and because of the reactions I started to feel awkward about the whole thing. I'm gonna leave it at that.
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Edited by
dcastelmissy
on
Mon 12/23/13 08:38 AM
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For clarification, I would like to add that with my OP I was actually not getting at people passing away per say, but loss in general or being alone, as in single, but not per say because your spouse passed away. I can understand that's what people who have lost loved ones would think about straight away, and because of the reactions I started to feel awkward about the whole thing. I'm gonna leave it at that.
You specifically referred to people who, and I quote: "Yet around Christmas they wallow in sorrow and sadness? Crying over someone that died maybe 16 years ago, feeling lonely, unhappy, sad and lost." Maybe you should read what you are writing. 
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For clarification, I would like to add that with my OP I was actually not getting at people passing away per say, but loss in general or being alone, as in single, but not per say because your spouse passed away. I can understand that's what people who have lost loved ones would think about straight away, and because of the reactions I started to feel awkward about the whole thing. I'm gonna leave it at that.
You specifically referred to people who, and I quote: "Yet around Christmas they wallow in sorrow and sadness? Crying over someone that died maybe 16 years ago, feeling lonely, unhappy, sad and lost." Maybe you should read what you are writing.
Yeah, so losing a loved one was part of it. The other part is people that feel lonely, unhappy, sad and lost for whatever reason. Which includes a gazillion singles that have difficulty coping with being alone (not because they lost a loved one), people who have specific unpleasant memories to do with Christmas (not to do with someone passing away) etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc |
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Edited by
msharmony
on
Mon 12/23/13 08:52 AM
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I do think there is a time when you have to focus on the good and the holidays is as good a time as ever.
I do think there is a time when sorrow has become a choice, an old habit, a comforter to avoid the fear of moving forward and what it may hold I lost my dad during the holidays, seven years ago,, WHEN I LOST HIM, I cried nearly two days straight, and then off and on again for probably a month but I cant imagine today doing anything but remembering all the great times and things about my dad during the holidays as opposed to recalling that sadness,,,,, at some point, sorrow is a choice,,,for whatever the reason,, it makes a lot of sense too, that those who were already sad or lonely before the loss will have that heightened on the holidays,, |
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For clarification, I would like to add that with my OP I was actually not getting at people passing away per say, but loss in general or being alone, as in single, but not per say because your spouse passed away. I can understand that's what people who have lost loved ones would think about straight away, and because of the reactions I started to feel awkward about the whole thing. I'm gonna leave it at that.
You specifically referred to people who, and I quote: "Yet around Christmas they wallow in sorrow and sadness? Crying over someone that died maybe 16 years ago, feeling lonely, unhappy, sad and lost." Maybe you should read what you are writing.
Yeah, so losing a loved one was part of it. The other part is people that feel lonely, unhappy, sad and lost for whatever reason. Which includes a gazillion singles that have difficulty coping with being alone (not because they lost a loved one), people who have specific unpleasant memories to do with Christmas (not to do with someone passing away) etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc You might want to read some of Jung's views on the reasons behind varying types of depression, and the treatments suggested so you can obtain a knowledgeable assessment of why people feel this way. I'm surprised you haven't already done so. |
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I do think there is a time when you have to focus on the good and the holidays is as good a time as ever. I do think there is a time when sorrow has become a choice, an old habit, a comforter to avoid the fear of moving forward and what it may hold I lost my dad during the holidays, seven years ago,, WHEN I LOST HIM, I cried nearly two days straight, and then off and on again for probably a month but I cant imagine today doing anything but remembering all the great times and things about my dad during the holidays as opposed to recalling that sadness,,,,, at some point, sorrow is a choice,,,for whatever the reason,, it makes a lot of sense too, that those who were already sad or lonely before the loss will have that heightened on the holidays,,  Except for the part about sorrow being a choice, I agree!...Each of us handle our pain and suffering in our own way and in our own time...We all have triggers that remind of of good times and bad...My thought about those who feel and express saddness and depression during Christmas is not to judge them, but to reach out with kindness, a gentle heart, and good tidings in the true spirit of the holiday season...
MERRY CHRISTMAS HARMONY!
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I do think there is a time when you have to focus on the good and the holidays is as good a time as ever. I do think there is a time when sorrow has become a choice, an old habit, a comforter to avoid the fear of moving forward and what it may hold I lost my dad during the holidays, seven years ago,, WHEN I LOST HIM, I cried nearly two days straight, and then off and on again for probably a month but I cant imagine today doing anything but remembering all the great times and things about my dad during the holidays as opposed to recalling that sadness,,,,, at some point, sorrow is a choice,,,for whatever the reason,, it makes a lot of sense too, that those who were already sad or lonely before the loss will have that heightened on the holidays,, Except for the part about sorrow being a choice, I agree!...Each of us handle our pain and suffering in our own way and in our own time...We all have triggers that remind of of good times and bad...My thought about those who feel and express saddness and depression during Christmas is not to judge them, but to reach out with kindness, a gentle heart, and good tidings in the true spirit of the holiday season...
MERRY CHRISTMAS HARMONY!
Exactly Leigh! If only everyone could understand that! 
BEST WISHES TO EVERYONE! 
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