another beautiful story. Why does so muich beauty come from so much pain? The hex is a white hex: That this pain you are through with and will not expereince again sweet brew :)

no. I do not wish for you, or for myself as a doormat to end up as. But my heart has a difficult time letting go of the chance that there is good in even the slyest of foxy sinners :)

so I am like the gambler who turns over stone after stone to find the one that will hold beneath it a great treasure: a heart that has desired to be trusted. as Lionsbrew intimated much beauty can come from such pain. loveya larrson, unlucky in love as ye may be :)

wish ye were close enough to share a pint and piss into the wind together

well said, and poison gummies to anyone stupid enough to look a gift horse in the mouth.

I do beleive you would help others, teebee

exactly. how will this benefit me? If there is no benefit...I also simply walk away

well, now that you've dressed I may ring that door bell :)

well said. I do a cleansing sometimes where I set aside anything that has been said by another, and tell myself that it doesn't matter what others think. I must decide based on my own happiness in that moment. When the moments for happiness have passed, my heart will know that...

that, what you said, I could have said myself - it sounds so much like me :)

Maybe I am stuck on words but generally second chances are not something I "give" people.

Someone shows genuine remorse they can "earn" a second chance. You mess up with me you there are consequences. Some things the consequences are way worse than what ever they could earn trying to make peace.

All that said I do really believe in giving people human grace. Everyone has a bad day and some people don't have the "training" to
not make certain mess ups.

But yea there are some things that are never going to get a pass from me no matter how much I might care about them.

never is a long time. I would hope that an opportunity to earn a second chance from you would be well utilized :)

AHHHhhhh Rrrigght...



http://mingle2.com/user/view/5178101

Happy Holidays Sweet !

thank you old friend :)

Very well said.

if i am gonna give a second chance it has to be earned. its not like a candy that u can just give away to everyone once they ask for it.

I give second chances because I know people make mistakes. Unfortunately the woman I fell in love with does not, and I made a mistake.

This why so many people think Leigh is a sweetheart! For myself I usually do because I have done some stupid things in my life and did not get a second chance to redeem myself and it cut me deep.

Well being able to find beauty in everything is the job of an artist. There are some who have told me pain can be so close to pleasure and for some it actually is. Knowing what I know now I don't think I would've done things any differently my choices are what made me what I am today. Had I not given the chances i did I would have missed out on so many other sweet tasting memories made with those people.

I dunno about not feeling pain like that again. We are humans and completely fallible. If someone makes me feel a certain way again I can't say that I wont go through the pain again just for the sake of more good times with a person. At the same time it is important that each person is an individual and just because one person wronged me doesn't mean another will.

I do have to say the older I get the easier it is becoming to forgive those whom have hurt me and let it slide. It took me some time to realize how damaging a persons hubris can be to their psyche and why pride is considered one of the seven deadly sins. I still work on my temper and being betrayed or lied to still hurts in the now. It always will, but at least I have learned the pain does indeed fade and people grow and change with their circumstances. Nothing is ever as black and white as the text we see on the page. Life is made up of brilliant gradients of colors,textures, and sounds that pull our personal perspective from one area to another. I guess to try and put what I mean simply. My experiences have made it easier to see the forest through the trees.

I understand what you're getting at here, and it's ever so easy to react that way. But if you think about it, if you do, it means you have become hard, rigid and are not in Love anymore.
A truly strong person can remain gentle, soft and centered in Love and still say "no", or "yes", to a second chance. If you have demands and rules about what the other should before you grant him forgiveness and a 2nd chance, that's not true forgiveness. You're actually reacting from (hurt) ego, possibly fear (anger might be part of it, which is mostly based on some form of fear).
The other person should clean up his/her act based on his own sense of right and wrong, not because he's facing a set of rules and demands --> do this, or else ...
He/she should understand the gift you're giving him/her and appreciate it and you for it. If he/she does, you've reached the stage where you can communicate about it.
If he/she doesn't understand, he/she is likely not the right person and/or you should say "no".
I don't like to refer to religious subjects, but when Jesus was nailed to a cross, you think he thought "You hurt me and now you will suffer the consequences! I will not grant you my Love and Powers until you ... "

Okay, sounds like Utopia, but isn't this how it should work? I think this is one of life's most difficult things to learn and deal with.
When someone hurts us, we close our hearts (ego) and have great difficulty opening up again (out of fear => ego).
And I'm not saying I am able to do it, not all the time anyway. I try. I can at times.
The problem with doing so (truly forgiving someone else even though he's hurt you really really bad) is other people's opinion --> Are you nuts?!?!
(which again upsets our ever so vulnerable egos)

Oh well, just some thoughts ...

Depends on the situation, each one has its own little details...I do however give very few second chances out, and never a third. Fool me once, f* you; fool me twice, f* off.

Your post is a good read. Thanks for sharing that much about yourself with us here.

Experience with pain can be a great divide. those who have it and those who do not. My last boyfriend (it's been a few years now) was much much younger and had not experienced a lot of relationship "pain" relatively speaking. Whereas I had experienced a great deal. He would cause me pain, not knowing much of the time (I honestly believe) just how much pain he was causing me. Although that does not excuse the things he did, to me, it put them in context because I knew he simply did not have the life experience to understand completely.

As for future pain, I suppose I projected a little in wishing for you what I would have myself :)

I still believe after everything....that there is great beauty in a "meeting of the minds" where love and support causes great avoidance of pain, by design. Or, maybe it is just maturity. By a certain stage we finally realize that it has been our selfishness and pride that has caused others, we said we loved, pain. In learning that, we learn that when we really have a more pure love we lose our selves rather than engage in agrandisement.

I agree! Thanks for raising this point. It reminds of the philosophy that advises us to examine a person's actions rather than hear their words.