Have you ever had the feeling during or after a relationship that you finally found somebody that you really clicked with and that he or she was your type, even if he or she was one in a million?

I guess what I'm asking is, do you find it hard to move on when you have been with someone that you really liked and got on with, or are you one of those, "there's plenty more fish" people that has a more black and white view about it, which is to say that you might just think that because it didn't work out they weren't actually your type, or what you're looking for at all?

Once I realize a guy is no longer into me, or was never into me, I have no problem moving on from him. And yes, there are tons more fish in the sea, so I can't imagine mourning anyone for very long.

That wasn't really what I was talking about. What I meant was, even when you've accepted that it's over have you thought that you need to meet a person like that again but of course not exactly the same as them and not the same person?

It's something that I've been thinking about a lot recently. I mean, I can even remember saying that my last girlfriend was like a younger version of my ex.

It may well be part of "getting over it and moving on" but I don't think that it's that simple. I could tell almost straight away just from her emails that the last one that I met was my sort of girl but I come on here every day and when I bother to check out profiles and send messages I don't usually feel that bothered when they don't reply because to be honest, most of them don't really seem like my type anyway. Not me being picky because if they don't want to talk to me they obviously don't think that I'm their type either and it's just a compatibility thing.

I don't get it. Are you asking if we feel it's hard to move on because that person was like the only one for us?

If so, then my answer is still no, because I don't think there is only one person for everyone. I've known lots of guys who were perfect for me at the time, no matter how long it lasted.

I really don't think there is only one guy in the world that will be "the one." I might just be content with the one I end up with because that's the one I've encountered so far, or that's the one that actually liked me back or whatever, but I don't believe there is strictly one person for every one person forever. I guess I'm not a romantic...

Hopefully that makes sense.

No, I'm obviously not being very clear about what I meant. What I'm asking about is if you feel that you want to meet someone like them again. I'm not talking about feeling that you will never meet anyone like them again. I'm not talking about finding someone "perfect" because that doesn't even exist and if it did they wouldn't be interested in me.

When I say "one in a million" I mean someone "special", or however you want to put it. Maybe I am a bit of an old romantic but I'm also trying to be realistic about it. If I wasn't I would be banging my head against a brick wall, trying to get dates with women that I have nothing in common with, or probably wouldn't really get on with.

Maybe it's just me being a freak though and just accepting that I'm not going to get "normal" and wouldn't know what to do with it if I got it.

Oh. Well, in that case, still no. Every guy I've been with has turned out to be a jerk and/or a psychotic in some way. So I don't want a repeat of that. I've started looking at the kind of guys I allow myself to be with and realize they're toxic. Like they have some major screwed up ways and thoughts, so I'm over that.

I did used to have a pattern like that before, thankfully it's over.

Yeah but didn't you say that you don't even want a boyfriend anyway?

I never said I didn't want a boyfriend. I said I wasn't actively looking. And now I'm content with what I've found, so I'm focusing on that.

The people I click with are usually taken *sigh*.

And do you think that the fact that they're "taken" has anything to do with the clicking, or is this just a roundabout way of saying that most single guys are losers and jerks?

I don't think single guys are jerks, I just think that guys in relationships tend to be much easier to talk to as there's no pressure.

I get it..and I know it to well. My ex was the one I wanted to be with and still do. I know the one in a million feeling you are referring to Tawt. I think I joined back up with this site to help me get him off my mind, not so much to meet anyone else because I can't just get over him.

It's hard to move on when you miss someone and it's not really fair for the one you're with, while missing another. I have no real answer other than it sucks

when I meet someone like that I put others on the backburner until I figure out where it's going ... to me it's worth the time to focus on that person because truly someone like that who you click with happens only a few times in a lifetime, so to speak.

So I will put others on hold while I figure out if he is the one for me...or if he is even interested...feels the same way, etc

Dawnette, that's sort of what I was like when I broke up with my ex five years ago but since I started dating again my relationships haven't really lasted all that long.

But yeah, I met someone this year and even though I knew that it was going to be difficult and she messed me around I wish that she would call me again and when I met her I remember saying to her that my first impressions were that I had never met anyone like her before, even though I sort of had and we had stuff in common and plenty to talk about.

For good or ill, I seem to attract a certain type of woman and they are always unconventional types. For me that works, even if it's hard to make a relationship work with them longterm. I guess that safe and predictable doesn't really do it for me.

I'm thinking about rewriting my profile because a couple of people have said that it makes me sound a bit crazy but I think that if I said what sort of woman that I get on with they would still think that I'm nuts and not get my sense of humour if they were "straight" types, which most people are.

Being one in a million isn't all its cracked up to be. That just means theres a little over Seven thousand people in the world just like you.

I got a similar thing, but I'm not convinced it is a 'status quo' so to speak. I think there are reasons for feeling that way.
Just think about what you said: it's hard to make it work with them long-term.
Meaning that type of woman might not be the right one after all.
Maybe a more conventional woman with an open mind to your "being different" might work out better.
If you got 'weird type A' and 'weird X' you may end up with "Weird type K" which neither will be happy with.
When you got more conventional with an open mind to 'weird', it might actually work out.
Kind of difficult to explain.

And indeed this:

That's kind of what I was getting at as well. Everybody likes to feel and think they're unique, and everyone is.
It could be interesting to find out why you feel you are more unique. Or have a stronger urge to differentiate.

Actually I don't worry about it. I just am who I am. I just thought of a joke that went with the topic is more like it.

I feel unique until I read through some of the posts on Lionsbrew's thread about people tooting their own horn. I found that the things that I felt made me unique were traits other people carried. That doesn't mean the combination of interests I have with my personality aren't unique, I just feel less of an individual when you find others are very similar. That's a good thing in that you realise you're not so alone, but a bad thing if you really like to push the whole "Hey, I'm different" button in people's faces.

Yea sometimes I have wondered if I have fallen into that trap of looking for that one in a million person.

I want to believe that who is right for me and visa versa is probably a unique combination.

I think the idea that one could just walk down any street and be tapped out by anyone is kind of insulting. Maybe it is the ingrained instruction of my early years to save myself for someone special in play. I don't know.

Maybe it is the fact that I don't like anyone who is too predictable. Variety being the spice of life? Which kind of defeats the profile concept that you say what you want and spin the wheel until the right shaped cog slips into place.

But yea I have found myself looking for a person with some, maybe even a majority of, the traits I liked about "the one" in my life that made me happy in my past.

Think it is human nature to be drawn to what feels comfortable, happy, even stimulating.

When you are younger you don't have the experience to know what "wears" well and experiment but as you get along you tend to avoid what has already made you miserable.

I personally don't mind a give and take relationship, not looking for "Mr. Perfect", but would be nice if it was "Mr. It is Nice to be us".

I think I have a pretty good idea what kind of person that would be because I had that. Once you have it the search kind of narrows down.

Think it gets harder when you are trying to avoid whatever it was in a relationship that you think made a relationship fail because people resent being the "cause" of being rejected but it is in my mind more fair to say early on "who you are is not who is right for me" than just BS them. Being rejected, especially for something you don't have a lot of control over, doesn't feel very good.

But yea when I go down my list of what is going to work and not going to work the ranks seem to thin down to what feels like one in a million.