Yep, totally agree

Crystal, I know what you're saying and believe me, I have tried with more conventional women. I just don't usually get very far with them. The closest that I've had to a "normal" girlfriend was my ex and even she's a bit mental. She's just more reliable than other girlfriends that I've had and that did start to verge on the boring sometimes but it was still nice to know that she would always call me and take my calls etc.

I suppose that I feel more unique because I've always been a bit of a misfit. Since high school anyway. I'm not really part of mainstream society and even when I've asociated with cliques or joined in with groups I've still felt like an outsider, or an observer. I think of myself as being a bit like Jack Keroak. I've known a lot of strange and crazy people in my life that lived on the fringes of society but I haven't gone down the paths that a lot of them have, like getting into crime or hard drugs, probably because I don't just go along with the herd, even if it's a herd of people doing things that set them apart from mainstream society.

When I was younger I had all sorts of friends and could get on with posh kids, or working class lads that were into actually going out to muck about and getting into scrapes. I could get on with most people but as I got older things changed and adults tend to stick with their own circles of friends and exclude people that aren't part of that.

I know that I keep going on about this girl that I met this year but she was living the sort of lifestyle that I used to lead and hanging about with the same sort of people. She was really random and unpredictable and maybe I liked that because my own life isn't that exciting these days and she brought that back into it at least. We never even went out on a conventional date together and she told me that "dating", as such, was something that she's never really done. I am looking for a "steady" girlfriend though and when I talked about her with my mum I said that I didn't think that it was that she was too young and that it might have worked out if the girl hadn't had problems, which weren't really her fault and I can't be angry with her for being the way that she was because of that. I talked about it with my ex and I told her that it had been an adventure and I had found it romantic being with a crazy young girl but my ex and I agreed that it was just too crazy.

The relationship with my ex didn't work out for various reasons but one of them was that she was a free spirit and I like that. It probably does make them commitment fobes and probably makes them back off a bit from me because I guess that I do have quite a strong personality and if a guy is like that women can think that he's a control freak or something. Maybe that's your astrology again and most of the guys that I know that are in stable relationships seem a bit like wimps to me. When I read up on the romantic compatibility between scorpio and aeries it said that it doesn't work because you "can't have two heads in a relationship". I don't really like women telling me what to do but I can't imagine anything more boring than a woman that just does what she's told and doesn't have a mind of her own. I might just not be cut out for stable relationships, even though I'm honest and loyal.

Anyway, as far as this last girlfriend goes, we never had a single argument and everything was great when we were actually together, even if it was a bit weird sometimes. I know that if the relationship had continued the arguments would have come and possibly that's why she bailed out when she did. The last date that I had with her was just about perfect as far as I'm concerned but after that she went weird on me and stood me up when we were actually going to go out to the pub the next day. Now all I've got is memories of having a good Summer with a girl that I really liked but I knew that it was probably doomed to fail from the start as a relationship. I'm not angry with her, or bitter about it. It was a little taste of happiness and this year started off quite crappy and she really made me feel good about myself again. I would like to take that feeling into the new year and maybe meet somebody else because I'm not one of these "I'm content with my life the way that it is and I don't need a woman" types but I just don't know where my next girlfriend is coming from, or how I could meet someone that would make me feel like that again.