Ok so i am legally separated from my husband. it has been two months and i live with my daughter who is not biologically his. He lives in his house currently. We separated after less than 2yrs of marriage and here is why.
1.He is not financially stable and cannot save money.. he has never had to really pay for any of our dates. I support him when i can financially to help make the truck payment.. and our cell phones.
2.I had major trust issues with him for over a year. He kept talking with ex gf's and would lie straight to my face when i would find incriminating evidence on him. The final blow was when he lied to me about the dating website he was on.
I really do not think he has ever physically cheated though
3. Since our separation we have really been trying to work on our marriage..but he still has yet to take me out on a date without me paying for it. And i gave him like 200 dollars for the truck payment and he spent it over the weekend so we could go camping.

No matter how hard i try... i just feel like i am in a situation where i am married to an immature boy and it is not ever going to change.

not sure what the hell to do! i do love him.. but there is so much standing in our way

Give it a lot of thought before you decide if you really want to break up with him. I always never wanted to break up with my last ex. I only did it because we were too opposite. So it was never gonna work. Opposite's don't always attract. So much for that saying. Never truly believed it anyway. lol. Give it some thought, because, honestly, I'm not so sure it's worth finding a new date in these modern times, as a lot just want to sleep with others for one night stands, so it doesn't always feel that good.

Ignore this advice you leave one person because they are so toxic for you that you are better off alone. The issue is not to make a choice based on the fear of not finding another but that being alone is preferable to the status quo.As for the next gentleman there are counselors that can help you and yes with sliding scales so you can gain more control over your life and the subsequent choices you make . It is important to see what role you played in creating this one sided relationship and if you do not find the cause of your own efforts you are highly likely to repeat with simply another man. Please give this your serious consideration

in my opinion you already have your answer and have made some decisions with this statement.



You can try sitting down him and having a one on one conversation and laying it out there, I have no idea if it will help but it cannot hurt. As it stands right now, he is using you by taking your money to pay for things he himself should be man enough to be responsible for. You love him, and nothing anyone says can change that, but you deserve to not only be loved in return, but given equal respect and commitment. If he cannot give you that, then you need to move on and look for those who can.

Good luck to you.

Thanks everyone ...great advice so far! I am getting involved in a support group for people who are divorced and separated. that starts monday so we'll see how that goes!

Only know this little bit you shared with us, but sounds to me like he's using you and/or is a lazy git.
I don't get the impression he's about to change, so if you stay with him, you will indeed be with an immature man. Are you up for that?

Going back to him cos you might not get another partner, or not easily, is the worst advice I've ever heard!
It sounds like you are quite capable of taking care of yourself and your daughter. Maybe you should give him some sort of deadline: if he really wants you back, he's gotta do something about his life-style. Become financially self-supporting for starters. And you should be able to trust him, so this thing about dating-sites and stuff ... You think you can and will be able to ever trust him again?

Still (and again, I only know the little bit you shared) it sounds more like a dump-him situation to me.

Wishing you lots of wisdom!

Thanks CrystalFairy!
Amazing advice :)

I think you should divorce him and then adopt him.....If you think about what I just said, you may be able to answer your own question...Good luck....

amen..great answer.....

Seems like you should wait to work it out, sense you still love him, and not really sure if he is an adulter.

Good answer!

You are married to an immature boy and he is never going to change.

Decide if that's what you want in life.

Fair enough. All I was saying is maybe she could think it through, first, because too many couple's are so quick to break up these days. And if she has a really strong bond with him, then I get how difficult it may feel to just suddenly want to end it. Love never fades slowly. Not if it's genuine.

Yo. Loving the cat pic, btw :)

If your married you need to lay down some rules of respect and if he can't respect you as a wife and a woman, then you should be done wasting your time on him, for real. He needs to get a real job where he can afford his $200 month car payment and a date once in awhile. What is he doing to SHOW YOU APPRECIATION? Ask yourself that.