Dustin Hoffman has an interesting awareness when preparing for the movie Tootsie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xPAat-T1uhE


Before proceeding with the movie, he needed to pass for a woman ... not a man in drag. He wanted to walk down the street and not be looked at as being anything other than a woman. The makeup team was successful but when he looked at himself onscreen he did not see an attractive woman. If he was going to play a woman, he wanted to play a beautiful one.

The makeup team said they did the best they could and it wasn't going to get any better than that.

His tearful awareness was that he thought he made an interesting woman onscreen . And he also knew that if he met this character at a party, he wouldn't talk to her because "she didn't fulfill physically the demands that we're brought up to think that women have to have in order to ask them out."

He went on to say "There are too many interesting women I have not had the experience to know in this life because I have been brainwashed."

It got me to thinking ...


How like that is it for all of us? We live our lives in the bodies we have with the faces that we have. We don't all have the luxury of growing up beautiful. I was the girl not asked to dance. I was the girl not asked out. I was the girl compared to her friends and found lacking because I didn't have enough of one thing and too much of something else... whatever the flavour of the day was.

And I know men who have had the same experiences...

I wonder how many people we have not had the gift to experience because of 'brainwashing' as Dustin Hoffman puts it.

What are your thoughts?

Well I think men are more brainwashed than women, it's a fact that men are more visual than women. You see it time and time again how women complain about how men put them down because of their weight, age, looks etc. Sad, but that's life , as for me I'm old enough to know that substance is better than looks. There has to be an initial attraction but if the person is lacking in the looks department I wouldn't kick them to the curb I would try to get to know them to see if they have the qualities I want in a person, sense of humor, kindness, common interests.For me a keen sense of humor trumps beauty any day. After all when you get older looks kind of fall by the wayside and unfortunately, some people think they can still ride that wave................................

Nonsense I will look good forever! I will still be pullin 18 yr old hotties when I am 90. Looks are the most important thing to me since I do not trust women. All are liars and cheaters, some are just better about hiding it.

Nonsense I will look good forever! I will still be pullin 18 yr old hotties when I am 90. Looks are the most important thing to me since I do not trust women. All females are liars and cheaters, some are just better about hiding it.

We've all been hurt and most of us have been cheated on. You have a choice. You can retreat into bitterness and anger or you can live your fullest, happiest life regardless of what other people do.
Choose happy! It looks better on you...

I understand what you are saying and agree. The question is broader than dating though.

I have a friend who doesn't have what one would call smooth social skills. She regularly acts in ways that make other people uncomfortable. I am not talking about a wild party girl. I am talking subtle things like not respecting people's personal space ... staring ... etc

Because of that, she is routinely avoided by people. And yet, she is one of the most interesting people I know. Tons of people will never experience the gift of knowing her.

It happens in a million different ways that are subtle.

Well it sure looks good on you Gurl !

Aww thank you KIK

Everyone I've come across I've talked to or at least attempted to talk to them, but I flourish on learning and figure everyone has some amount of knowledge that I can gain something from them.

Oddly enough this has led to a relatively isolated existence...People just don't seem as interested.

Hi Fear

Why do you think that is?

With that kind of attitude about women, good luck on finding someone who want a permanent relationship with you.

I talk to anyone who approaches me...but tend to seek out the ones who don't. No one escapes me.

I do too ...now ... I was way too shy when I was younger


...but was it always that way for you?

That's an interesting concept.. But, I think " chemistry " (physical & otherwise) is a factor in falling in love for a reason.. Or else, we'd connect with too many people.

Chemistry is definitely a factor in falling in love.

I am asking something more general too though. In life, I wonder how many gifts we miss by not being open to receive from those who don't show up in a way that fits our box of what is acceptable. I don't mean romance. I mean the unique gift that each and every person is.

Ah, I see what you're saying. Maybe our other relationships are based on chemistry as well but, we're just less aware of it.. Although, I'd hope one would be less concerned with someones outward appearance in terms of friendships and other misc. relationships.

Very good read, though..

City pace...Doesn't seem like anyone has the time.

Oh well, that's why we have encyclopedia's.

I've always been a bit that way, but maybe more so as I've aged. I'm just a social person with varried interests. I love hearing all the angles, so ask all the people. Some here may have noticed that....little bit.

I'm kind of the opposite of what you're talking about. I'm an unconventional person and find other freaks interesting, while sheeple usually bore me to tears.

Can you speak pig Latin?