I understand how hung up people get by appearances,

I dont understand how you dont see a pretty lady when you look in the mirror


sometimes we reflect to the world what we think of ourself?

kind of like the nice guy threads,,,,people can become attracted to looks, they can be attracted to confidence, or a million other things,,,,

I have seen some real doggish women (not the best looks OR attitude) with partners,,,,so there is no explaining attraction, but I have stopped believing it begins or ends with the physical''
'

lets not forget, people have also been in commitmesnts WITHOUT marriage


its not so much about having been married, its about having made the commitment to someone else in your life at some point,, a monogomous commitment,, that actually lasted for some kind of time

id be weary if by 40 someone had yet to do that,, that they would be able to start,,,,,,

I sure in the heck would not want someone in the 40's that
has been married twice or three times with 5 kids. I would
rather have someone who knows it just was not right for them
not to be married.
I actually have been married only because my mom pressured me
to get married because we were living together and she did not
think it was right. I wish I would have told her to butt out of
my life and let me live it because we ended up in a divorce. I
hate saying I am divorced, I would rather say I have never been
married.
I guess I have learned not to cave to what people think, it is my
life and I don't care what anyone thinks anymore. Will I ever get
married again? I might but he would have to be someone very very
special and no one would ever tell me to marry him, it would be my
choice!!
Navygirl..what the heck do you mean you are not pretty enough to
attract men? Sweetie, it is all about self confidence. You are very
pretty...maybe you just don't want anyone right now? I applaud you
for putting your career first!!

Allow me to point out the obvious.....

The original topic is a dissertation by a woman giving her perspective of what it means to be an unmarried man.

No offence....if any one needs to discuss unmarried men....you should talk to unmarried men....not to some woman who wrote an article....cause she is less than clueless.

Just like if you want to discuss women ...you should probably talk to women.

I thought it was a good article.

(It's called "research" Krupa.)

She was not giving her perspective or first hand knowledge. She did research.

With research you don't need "first hand knowledge."



That is what she did. She talked to Joe and Carl who wrote a book on the subject. He is a man.

Joe (who asked that only his first name be used)
Carl Weisman, author of So Why Have You Never Been Married?

A woman would think so.

If it makes you skirts feel like you got a grip on things....good for you.

From my perspective as an unmarried man....I find it laughable.

Skirts? (I smell an attitude)

It would not matter to me who wrote the article. I judged the article itself, not prejudiced by the author's sex.

OP, I was ALMOST married. I got engaged, it lasted a few month, but the guy couldn't keep it in his pants. Oh well, engaged is good enough for me. But buying me a ring to show his commitment, and then cheating on me? Nice going, sunshine, but I just knew there was no more room for that kind of behaviour.

You are not unattractive, to say that is why you are not married. Many really unattractive people are married, and that is both men and women. Attraction is also on the inside. I believe people just don't find what they are seeking to find in a mate.

Divorce Rate
Welcome to divorcerate.org, the resource on all the divorce information all around the world as well as in America.

Divorce rates all across the globe have been rising rapidly owing to certain problems like incompatibility between couples, infidelity issues, lack of trust and understanding, and financial pressures. It is sad to observe that the rising divorce rates across the world and see marriages breaking.

In the year 2012, following were the top 10 countries with the highest divorce rates:

Russia: 5
Belarus: 3.8
Ukraine: 3.6
Moldova: 3.5
Cayman Islands: 3.4
United States: 3.4
Bermuda: 3.3
Cuba: 3.2
Lithuania: 3.1
Czech Republic: 3.0
The divorce rates mentioned are as per 1,000 population. The rates of divorce in other countries were as follows:

Denmark: 2.7
Switzerland: 2.6
Spain: 2.4
Australia: 2.2
Japan: 2.0
Mongolia: 0.7


What is the present divorce rate in America?

The statistics regarding the divorce rate in America often report a 50% overall divorce rate. However, this data is not really very accurate, though it is quite close to the real figures. As per the Americans for Divorce Reform, an approximate of 40-50% of marriages in the U.S., would end in legal separation if the present trends are likely to continue This is only a projection. There are many factors contributing to the upward trend in the divorce rates and the laws pertaining to divorce are one of them.

"50% of all marriages in America end in divorce"

The statement mentioned above about American divorce rate does not reveal all the details regarding distribution.


Age at marriage for those who divorce in America (2011) Age Women Men
Under 20 years old 27.6% 11.7%
20 to 24 years old 36.6% 38.8%
25 to 29 years old 16.4% 22.3%
30 to 34 years old 8.5% 11.6%
35 to 39 years old 5.1% 6.5%

The divorce rate in America for first marriage, vs second or third marriage

50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce, according to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri.

According to enrichment journal on the divorce rate in America:

The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%
The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%
The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%
The divorce rate in America for childless couples and couples with children

According to discovery channel, couples with children have a slightly lower rate of divorce than childless couples. This conclusion has been arrived at, after considering feedback from observations of behavior of couples in the divorce room and their counseling sessions.

Sociologists believe that childlessness is also a common cause of divorce. The absence of children leads to loneliness and weariness and even in the United States, at least 66 per cent of all divorced couples are childless.


Information on Divorce Rate and Statistics

www.divorcerate.org

You are correct of course. If you don't feel good about how you looks then others will see that. I am confident in everything I do but my looks have always been my weakness. It started with my dad saying I was ugly and then guys that I dated actually said they could no longer date me as they were used to dating prettier women. If you keep getting told that; then you realize its pointless to try even trying to attract someone.

I have self confidence in myself but not my looks. Guys keep telling me I am not good looking enough so what's a gal to do? Such is life.

Find guys who aren't ********, for one thing. Sounds like you've only ever dated the shallow kind. Trust me, there are plenty of men out there who aren't looking for a supermodel.

Well not all guys insist on good looks. And what kind of guy would tell a woman they are "not good looking enough."??? What is he looking for, a trophy wife? Arm candy?

Maybe you are choosing guys who think way too highly of themselves. LOL

...Or perhaps your own standards in the "good looks" department is too high and you are passing up great guys that don't measure up for you.

Also, beauty is in the eye of the beholder anyway. Beauty is also very superficial. If a beautiful woman is a witch, her attractiveness will soon fade...

Keep in mind that being attractive has a lot to do with attitude, class and chemistry, and make up does help, and not just "natural beauty." whatever that is.

Look at Barbara Streisand.

that's fine as long as the never been married do not presume to judge those of us who have been


nor please do not pretend to understand and defintely do not think you can have an opinon that counts because you can't

Nope; my standards for guys weren't high. I barely got dates; so I was never picky about who asked me out. LOL The guys I dated were far from good looking but they still didn't think I was good enough for them and yes they told me they wanted a prettier girl. I am not making this up. It devastated me when I was younger and I guess I never recovered. My friends couldn't figure it out either. Oh well; no point in beating myself up over it. Anyways; it doesn't matter anymore at my age as its all water under the bridge. I am lucky to be able to dedicate my time to my community; especially now while our city is in crisis.

You actually have guys telling you that you are not good looking
enough? Are you kidding me? I would hope that you kick their arses?
IF they actually say that, they are rude little pr*cks and you
would not want them anyways!! SMH

I am sure that is true but I have never met them.

Yep; guys actually said that. As much as I would like to kick their butts; I would be charged with assault and they certainly aren't worth going to jail for. LOL