That makes absolutely no sense to me...The effort is wasted if in the long-run the plan doesn't come to fruition. Kind of like putting a lot of work into a painting that you're just going to burn.

I would want a Man who had not been active for over 6months or 6 years. Shows he is not easy

You may be correct in what you say but the way society looks at it as that you were committed enough to get married; then it shows you can commit to a relationship. The funny thing is that not all marriages are for the right reasons. Some get married because of an unplanned pregnancy, or family/peer pressure, and of course desperation as they fear being alone which can also lead to divorce. JMO

A 40 year old man who has never been married... mmmmm what questions would go through (most) people's minds?

I can only speak for myself. Here are some ideas... I jest of course.


1. He is shy and does not know how to approach women and can't stand rejection. (I consider that to be a social dysfunction and lack of confidence, but it can be dealt with and corrected.)

2. He is a Mama's boy. (He still lives with his mother and can't bare the thought of leaving home.) (another social dysfunction)

3. He's gay and still in the closet.

4. He is a functioning alcoholic or an addict, and has been since young adulthood.

5. He prefers young boys.

6. He has deep dark secrets that are illegal or he is ashamed of, and he refuses to get close to anyone.

7. His sexual needs are taken care of by a blow up doll or some other way, and he doesn't really like real women who talk back.

Note:

Guys: Don't blame not having enough money, not being good looking, or not being charming enough, because there is some woman out there who wants YOU and they don't care about any of that.

I tend to think that way too!

Or maybe they just never met anyone that they wanted to marry. Sometimes you just can't make the right connection no matter how hard you try and I speak this from my own experience. Some of us were just not meant to every marry.

A man 36 is not that old for a man's first marriage. Imo I was thinking maybe by the time a man is 50 is Old to be single. I read somewhere, if a man is still single at 50 he probably won't marry. If a Woman is over 50, she has a better chance at being hit by a Semi truck, than getting married.

I know a lot of Adults do not desire marriage. I am directing this to the marriage minded people.

I guess I better watch myself around Semi-trucks.

people are aware of a lot of things, I 'd say there ar eno guarantees. divorce is not a good thing but it is not bad either. it just is....I find it an unfortunate thing

but at times it really is necessary.....certainly not something to strive for tho, no lol

It is about the same for women seeking to get Remarried.

Yep; this is so true.

right I think some might feel that in your shoes accepting a marriage commitment might have been somewhat irrespnsible as you would have been hard pressed to really participate at the time...I can definitely see it that way

Exactly. What kind of marriage would I have had not being at home to actually spend time with a husband?

I don;t think I'd automatically assume anything was wrong with a never married older man but I would worry that he might not really be able to relate to me or understand me

I maybe would but you too young, I am not a Cougar.

My ex husband was with me 19 years and married 16 BUT we did not have children and people think that is even weirder. We made a choice not to have them. We had loads of fun. We spent all our money on comic books, computers, the stamp collection, more pets than Noah's ark, we had a condo near the beach, etc. It was great. But people say to him, "Oh you poor thing, couldn't Terri get pregnant"???

There are many couples married, where one is away for Long periods of time, like in the Military.

You know I applaud you and your ex for making a wise choice. So many couples have children just because that is expected of a married couple. They make lousy parents that can't provide them financially or emotionally. My parents were a prime example of that.

If a couple decides together, they don't want children, then that is their choice. Many couples split because they don't Family plan and the wife has children the man does not Want. So...sad.

Yes this is true; but when you are away so much that you don't even get a chance to know a person; it can hardly lead to marriage if you can't even keep a relationship together.