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Topic: IS LOVE A CHOICE???
PrinceB143's photo
Fri 06/14/13 09:20 AM
I was heavily engaged on a conversation some days ago with my friends on issues that shoulders relationship. They all shared individual experiences about the sad, sour and sweet side of love and relationship. Been the “gracious host“, i had to listen as they all poured their hearts out to me. I know love, but it seems that we cannot fully comprehend it. One among the many stories i heard was a case of my dear female friend who fell inlove with an old married lecturer of hers. Need i to say i never had a happy ending. When asked if it was lust, she insisted it was love and she still felt it for him even though their relationship never took on a serious phase. Like i said, it was one among the many stories and am sure you too have a couple of stories to tell. We all do! Now the big question is, is love really a choice? Is it really a decision that determines our direction or is it something we have no control over. Have fun with this pals! You are more than free to make your contributions or air out you opinions. SO KEEP IT ROLLING!!!

no photo
Fri 06/14/13 09:36 AM
Edited by KiK2me on Fri 06/14/13 09:37 AM
Well i think love is part choice,part envy/admiration and much in part of chemistry and similar interests and beliefs
Looks attract but are only superficial in initial attraction
It is what is inside that counts the most
Comparability and mutual attraction is the clencher in love to me
Then again ...What the hell do i know...

:thumbsup:

msharmony's photo
Fri 06/14/13 09:45 AM

I was heavily engaged on a conversation some days ago with my friends on issues that shoulders relationship. They all shared individual experiences about the sad, sour and sweet side of love and relationship. Been the “gracious host“, i had to listen as they all poured their hearts out to me. I know love, but it seems that we cannot fully comprehend it. One among the many stories i heard was a case of my dear female friend who fell inlove with an old married lecturer of hers. Need i to say i never had a happy ending. When asked if it was lust, she insisted it was love and she still felt it for him even though their relationship never took on a serious phase. Like i said, it was one among the many stories and am sure you too have a couple of stories to tell. We all do! Now the big question is, is love really a choice? Is it really a decision that determines our direction or is it something we have no control over. Have fun with this pals! You are more than free to make your contributions or air out you opinions. SO KEEP IT ROLLING!!!



this is what I know

LOVE needs to develp, it doesnt just happen

we cant develop something without putting effort and time into it

we have a choice in who we put effort and time into


so, love is not something that 'just happens' and therefore is our choice,,,indirectly, by the actions we take which lead into the development of love

PrinceB143's photo
Fri 06/14/13 09:51 AM
Nicely said kik2me. Sometimes, it is much harder to comprehend the many episode of love! While many think “love don‘t cost a thing“, however, many more believe “love cost everything“. Once again, your opinions and contributions are more than welcome. SO KEEP IT ROLLING!!!

PrinceB143's photo
Fri 06/14/13 09:58 AM
Thanks msharmony! That is quite a unique way of looking at love! But i have a question for you, it is just an echo of what has been in the news and on papers; “do you believe love is blind“?

msharmony's photo
Fri 06/14/13 04:36 PM

Thanks msharmony! That is quite a unique way of looking at love! But i have a question for you, it is just an echo of what has been in the news and on papers; “do you believe love is blind“?



I think we can be so obsessed with the idea of love that we have tunnelvision and cant see the surrounding reality,,,,,

so, yes, love can CAUSE blindness,,,

Toodygirl5's photo
Fri 06/14/13 04:44 PM
Edited by Toodygirl5 on Fri 06/14/13 04:50 PM


Now the big question is, is love really a choice? Is it really a decision that determines our direction or is it something we have no control over. Have fun with this pals! You are more than free to make your contributions or air out you opinions. SO KEEP IT ROLLING!!!


I believe love is a choice. It is a decision and can determine our direction. However, the partner we are inlove with or choose to love is never under our control. We can only control ourself and our own actions. So I may have a partner I was inlove with or choose to love and he leaves me for another.

oldhippie1952's photo
Fri 06/14/13 04:45 PM
Yes, you can either open your heart to love or be single.

no photo
Fri 06/14/13 05:17 PM
Behavior is a choice, emotions are not....

Quoted (and I agree)...

"Falling in love is not a choice, staying in love is.":heart:

soufiehere's photo
Fri 06/14/13 05:37 PM
I do not think love is a choice, it hits you,
pulls you under, or it doesn't.
Like Leigh said, hanging around is the choice.

no photo
Fri 06/14/13 05:57 PM
Yes love, and emotions are a choice. How you react to something is a choice. How you decide to feel is a choice. Therein is your power. To decide.

If you don't think so, then you do not know how to use your own power.

You can't make someone love you... and they cannot stop you from loving them if you decide to do so.

Love is YOUR choice.

BettyB's photo
Fri 06/14/13 06:00 PM
Edited by BettyB on Fri 06/14/13 06:02 PM
I am not sure if love is a choice or not.
I think some people are capable of loving while some aren't.

1j9b6c5's photo
Fri 06/14/13 06:05 PM
Love is a many splendored thing. not my first choice but it has happened.

1Cynderella's photo
Fri 06/14/13 06:57 PM
Edited by 1Cynderella on Fri 06/14/13 07:02 PM
Love is certainly an emotion. And just like any other emotion, we may not choose to have them, but we do choose how we react to them. We can choose to walk away instead of acting on impulses. Emotions can be controlled by mature adults. It's much more fun when they don't have to be though...so for goodness sakes fall in love with someone appropriate. laugh

Ruth34611's photo
Fri 06/14/13 07:07 PM

Behavior is a choice, emotions are not....

Quoted (and I agree)...

"Falling in love is not a choice, staying in love is.":heart:


Yeah. This.

1Cynderella's photo
Fri 06/14/13 07:09 PM


Behavior is a choice, emotions are not....

Quoted (and I agree)...

"Falling in love is not a choice, staying in love is.":heart:


Yeah. This.
Perfectly true and too often forgotten. flowerforyou

no photo
Sat 06/15/13 09:00 AM
Edited by Jeanniebean on Sat 06/15/13 09:01 AM
Emotions are a choice. When you finally realize this, you can have more power and control over your life.

Love is a choice too. We all have reasons why we love someone.

Sexual attraction is a physical and chemical program. People mistake that for love. Infatuation is not love.


P.S. "Falling in love" is often just infatuation.

no photo
Sat 06/15/13 09:16 AM

I do not think love is a choice, it hits you,
pulls you under, or it doesn't.
Like Leigh said, hanging around is the choice.


I'm pretty much with leigh and souf on this one

we 'sperienced gals knowflowerforyou

can't help it who we fall in love with, it's what we do about it....:heart:

searchingsearching's photo
Sat 06/15/13 09:20 AM
Choice, no if's and's or but's.

no photo
Sat 06/15/13 09:22 AM
Edited by Jeanniebean on Sat 06/15/13 09:23 AM


I do not think love is a choice, it hits you,
pulls you under, or it doesn't.
Like Leigh said, hanging around is the choice.


I'm pretty much with leigh and souf on this one

we 'sperienced gals knowflowerforyou

can't help it who we fall in love with, it's what we do about it....:heart:



Is that is because you don't want to take responsibility?

I do understand it, as it has happened to me many times. (I think I'm in love etc.) But I realize the falseness of the feeling. That kind of love is temporary at best. Just enjoy it, but know that it can disappear quickly.

I have been in an out of love many times. But I have learned to recognize it for what it is. Infatuation. Temporary.

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