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| Topic: IS LOVE A CHOICE??? | |
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I do not think love is a choice, it hits you, pulls you under, or it doesn't. Like Leigh said, hanging around is the choice. I'm pretty much with leigh and souf on this one we 'sperienced gals know  can't help it who we fall in love with, it's what we do about it....  Is that is because you don't want to take responsibility? I do understand it, as it has happened to me many times. (I think I'[m in love etc.) But I realize the falseness of the feeling. That kind of love is temporary at best. Just enjoy it, but know that it can disappear quickly. not sure what u are talking about we were actaully talking about love...that cannot be defined for others. well, you can try, but no guarantee your defo will be accpted - so I prefer to leave each to his or her own |
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I do not think love is a choice, it hits you, pulls you under, or it doesn't. Like Leigh said, hanging around is the choice. I'm pretty much with leigh and souf on this one we 'sperienced gals know can't help it who we fall in love with, it's what we do about it.... Is that is because you don't want to take responsibility? I do understand it, as it has happened to me many times. (I think I'[m in love etc.) But I realize the falseness of the feeling. That kind of love is temporary at best. Just enjoy it, but know that it can disappear quickly. not sure what u are talking about Yes I understand that. we were actaully talking about love...that cannot be defined for others. well, you can try, but no guarantee your defo will be accpted - so I prefer to leave each to his or her own Everyone has their opinions. IMO, If you were actually talking about real and lasting love you would know that you choose who you love. |
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I do not think love is a choice, it hits you, pulls you under, or it doesn't. Like Leigh said, hanging around is the choice. I'm pretty much with leigh and souf on this one we 'sperienced gals know can't help it who we fall in love with, it's what we do about it.... Is that is because you don't want to take responsibility? I do understand it, as it has happened to me many times. (I think I'[m in love etc.) But I realize the falseness of the feeling. That kind of love is temporary at best. Just enjoy it, but know that it can disappear quickly. not sure what u are talking about Yes I understand that. we were actaully talking about love...that cannot be defined for others. well, you can try, but no guarantee your defo will be accpted - so I prefer to leave each to his or her own Everyone has their opinions. IMO, If you were actually talking about real and lasting love you would know that you choose who you love. what I know is that is your opinion ut obviously not everyone is going to agree to it I don't and I think it foolish to argue about something that is clearly a personal opinion where there is no "right" or "wrong" to see love as that unidimensional seems to lack thought to me. Have a nice day jeanne we do not always agree but I sure enjoy your company on here!
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I do not think love is a choice, it hits you, pulls you under, or it doesn't. Like Leigh said, hanging around is the choice. I'm pretty much with leigh and souf on this one we 'sperienced gals know can't help it who we fall in love with, it's what we do about it.... Is that is because you don't want to take responsibility? I do understand it, as it has happened to me many times. (I think I'[m in love etc.) But I realize the falseness of the feeling. That kind of love is temporary at best. Just enjoy it, but know that it can disappear quickly. not sure what u are talking about Yes I understand that. we were actaully talking about love...that cannot be defined for others. well, you can try, but no guarantee your defo will be accpted - so I prefer to leave each to his or her own Everyone has their opinions. IMO, If you were actually talking about real and lasting love you would know that you choose who you love. what I know is that is your opinion ut obviously not everyone is going to agree to it I don't and I think it foolish to argue about something that is clearly a personal opinion where there is no "right" or "wrong" to see love as that unidimensional seems to lack thought to me. Have a nice day jeanne we do not always agree but I sure enjoy your company on here! See that's a perfect example. Now you are mad and you don't love me. 
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Edited by
Jeanniebean
on
Sat 06/15/13 09:54 AM
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I wonder if you fell in love with a guy and he had completely different opinions and you hated his politics, and he worshiped a different God, how long would the love actually last?
Oh forever probably, since you can't choose who you love. Oh what if you found out he was a rapist or a serial killer? Would you still love him? (What would that be like to be hopelessly in love with a serial killer.) ewww |
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I wonder if you fell in love with a guy and he had completely different opinions and you hated his politics, and he worshiped a different God, how long would the love actually last? Oh forever probably, since you can't choose who you love. Oh what if you found out he was a rapist or a serial killer? Would you still love him? (What would that be like to be hopelessly in love with a serial killer.) ewww Whether you realize it or not, your first sentence says it loud and clear...Love is not a choice....People fall in love with the wrong people all the time because they have no choice...The choice comes after the fact, just like you are saying...The choice (and the responsibility) involves what, if anything, we do about feelings of love when they happen....Psychologists have long studied the why and how people fall in love...In order to be effective when counseling broken or troubled relationships they need this type of info....Science tells us that human romantic attraction involves chemical changes in the brain...My personal experience with this includes increased energy levels, faster heart rate, decreased appetite and a sharp decrease in sleep requirement..I experience feelings of excitement, elation, and wellbeing...All of these feelings can be attributed to a change in brain chemical levels like dopamine, oxytocin, and others...The feelings I experience are similar to an amphetamine high...It is this initial, uncontrollable attraction that compels us to look further, spend time with, and be intimate with those who evoke in us these feelings of love...We do not choose love, it chooses us...The only choice we have is in how we act upon our feelings...Sadly, that can go either way because love does not come with a guarantee of happiness ever after...You ask, what is it like to be hopelessly in love with the wrong person...Pure hell my dear....Here is a partial list of what can happen when you fall in love with the wrong person... Broken heart Broken home Single parenting Financial ruin Domestic violence Depression Suicide Crime Adultery Addiction and more.... For me, love is a powerful emotion... |
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Edited by
jacktrades
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Sun 06/16/13 01:31 PM
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Love indeed is very powerful. It can make you higher than the tallest mountain or can make you throw yourself off one. To me its like a garden, It is at first a desire but then needs careful nourishment and commitment to see things through.
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Love indeed is very powerful. It can make you higher than the tallest mountain or can make you throw yourself off one. To me its like a garden, It is at first a desire but then needs careful nourishment and commitment to see things through. How true...
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to love is to value!
You can't love what you do not value! |
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to love is to value! You can't love what you do not value!  Here's some truth that will send a few running ... "Romantic love, in the full sense of the term, is an emotion possible only to the man (or woman) of unbreached self-esteem: it is his response to his own highest values in the person of another—an integrated response of mind and body, of love and sexual desire. Such a man (or woman) is incapable of experiencing a sexual desire divorced from spiritual values." ~Ayn Rand |
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I think it depends on the indavidual. I have always wore my heart on my sleave.
Yet now I am more cautious. Some people only love themselves. |
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Should I eat this keylime pie, or fall inlove with it? Maybe their one and the same.
food for thought |
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Should I eat this keylime pie, or fall inlove with it? Maybe their one and the same. food for thought you made me hungry my thoughts went right out the window LOL! |
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I wonder if you fell in love with a guy and he had completely different opinions and you hated his politics, and he worshiped a different God, how long would the love actually last? Oh forever probably, since you can't choose who you love. Oh what if you found out he was a rapist or a serial killer? Would you still love him? (What would that be like to be hopelessly in love with a serial killer.) ewww Whether you realize it or not, your first sentence says it loud and clear...Love is not a choice....People fall in love with the wrong people all the time because they have no choice...The choice comes after the fact, just like you are saying...The choice (and the responsibility) involves what, if anything, we do about feelings of love when they happen....Psychologists have long studied the why and how people fall in love...In order to be effective when counseling broken or troubled relationships they need this type of info....Science tells us that human romantic attraction involves chemical changes in the brain...My personal experience with this includes increased energy levels, faster heart rate, decreased appetite and a sharp decrease in sleep requirement..I experience feelings of excitement, elation, and wellbeing...All of these feelings can be attributed to a change in brain chemical levels like dopamine, oxytocin, and others...The feelings I experience are similar to an amphetamine high...It is this initial, uncontrollable attraction that compels us to look further, spend time with, and be intimate with those who evoke in us these feelings of love...We do not choose love, it chooses us...The only choice we have is in how we act upon our feelings...Sadly, that can go either way because love does not come with a guarantee of happiness ever after...You ask, what is it like to be hopelessly in love with the wrong person...Pure hell my dear....Here is a partial list of what can happen when you fall in love with the wrong person... Broken heart Broken home Single parenting Financial ruin Domestic violence Depression Suicide Crime Adultery Addiction and more.... For me, love is a powerful emotion... What you describe above is true..... but it is not what I call "Love." It is Biological and its purpose (originally) was for the propagation of the species. Its temporary too. If you are mindful and conscious, you can recognize it for the "natural" programming that it is. But it ain't love. Call it that if you wish and if it makes you feel better. |
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Should I eat this keylime pie, or fall inlove with it? Maybe their one and the same. food for thought you made me hungry my thoughts went right out the window LOL! LOL, then my job is complete here! It's really good BTW! |
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Edited by
Yamin
on
Sun 06/16/13 06:01 PM
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Love is a learned behavior, therefore it is a choice. You are taught to love thru life experience from upon entrance into the world. Some people are gifted at the mastery of love and try to save the world even laying down their lives for others, giving up their last dollar or the shirt off their backs , even making unfathomable sacrifices all for the sake of another. Then there are those that would not share with u a single drop of water in a hot blazen desert if they had a whole pitcher of ice water. We choose to love and extend ourselves to others and we choose how. A freedom that can neva be stolen
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Things have changed a lot these past decades.
The romantic songs of the 50's have been replaced with the shallow materialism and humanist values of the post millennium. It's. not about love anymore but about. looking for the next best thing, the bigger better thing, the I'll stay with you until I find the next best thing, the bigger better thing. No love or commitment, only self interest. So the times have shaped the generations thinking about love. It's not a chioce but peer pressure and mind control. |
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All I know for sure is that if I fall in love and am happy ,then I don't care if it was my choice or not.
I WILL TAKE IT EITHER WAY. |
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Love draws you but it wont take away your choices.
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