Have We All Forgotten?
***************************

Do you know what it’s like
being left all alone…
your heart cries out
but there’s no love shown…
and you can’t figure out
why you’re on your own…
when there’s people everywhere
in the same time zone…
what will it take
for our minds to grasp the pain
of all those around us
who feel exactly the same…
is it pride that keeps us
from reaching out to say
I see you over there
hope you have a nice day…
it’s the little things that matter
even a twinkle in the eye
can spread love’s warmth
and dry a tear that’s cried…
it was in the Christmas season
a special Child was born
God sent Him with a reason
have we forgotten what for?
Jesus lived and gave His life
so we could all be free
whichever road we take
is up to you...and up to me
we can choose one paved with laughter
or…
we can choose one paved with strife
but in the heavenly ever after
which do you want for eternal life…

©AthenaRose 12/20/12

Merry Christmas Every One
******************************

A Country Christmas…

the strong winds blowing
thru the trees
reminds me of waves
rolling out of the sea…
water is standing
mosquitoes abound
the rain has ceased
the sun shines down…
frogs are croaking
bathing in puddles of mud
the woods are alive
limbs hit the ground with a thud…
more than a million eyes
are watching me stride by
and i’m so happy
there are tears in my eyes…
the sun is warm against my skin
my face alight with a silly grin…
i love the voice of nature’s call
igniting my nerves
as leaves around me fall…
the air so fresh
i take a deep breath
thankful for life
and the Mingle friends
that i’ve met…
this Christmas in the country
we’ll experience with glee
and a year from now
we’ll recall our history…

©AthenaRose 12/24/12

Will You Be My Lover?
**************************

I
feel
you
there
watching…
eating my words…
choking
on the silence…
aching
to be heard…
sooooooooooo
many faces
just empty spaces
you know how I hate
being the mouse
the cat chases…
Love is more than emotion
it compels
pure devotion
blowing the mind wide open
where only “the one”
cares to go in…
You breathe me in deep
laughing
as we weep
and no other will dare
impede
what we share…
But…
You hide from my sight
what I look for
with fright…
Who will next feel your aim?
Do we all play
in pain?
You think I resist
the soft touch
of your lips…
But I run to escape
my biggest mistake…
To give my heart true
depends
mostly on you…
Can you break my will
fast?
Can you make your will
last?
Time will wait
as we look to the end
are we foe
or are we friend?
Search we on
to find another?
Or true to me
you’ll be
my lover…

Copyright© Athena Rose 12/10/12

I Walked Away
******************

I came alive thru play
I felt the warmth that day
I heard all you had to say
I replied without delay
I lived your lie… your way
I was caught up in disarray
I then faced the price I pay
I had nothing else to relay
I quietly walked away
I refused to see you until today

©AthenaRose 12/24/12

Impulses - Part One

Abigail… aka Abby, is a silently bright woman. In her day she was considered to be attractive. Though short in stature, she is voluptuous with just the right placement of curves that flatter her small frame. Her dark brown hair began turning gray when she was nineteen years old, and she dyed it black for many years to enhance her French ancestral features.
With sparkling hazel/brown eyes, a man’s heart could be instantly illuminated when she raised them to meet his gaze. Her lips were full and pouty and innocently able to entice a man’s mind to taste, even devour them.
As she ages, now in her late 40’s, Abby grows wiser and more beautiful. Not the outward beauty of youth in its prime, but the inward grace and humility that comes with lessons learned. Of course her once voluptuous and taut body is now softened, and time has taken the color from her hair, with the gray that started so young now cascading a net of silver ringlets down and around her head.
Time however has not weakened the shine in her eyes that reflects the passion of her soul. And though her lips no longer hold the primal allure they once did, they are still able to entice a man’s mind to taste the words that emanate from her heart, and so effortlessly flow outward from her imagination.
Meanwhile, Leon, a very hot blooded man whose passions are for his job and his women, sits quietly in the shadows feeling ever so challenged by this new woman who has entered his realm of possibilities.
He, the mastermind behind a clandestine world of passionate and wealthy lovers seeking various and unimaginable pleasures covered in secrecy and cunning. And with cleverness in his heart his hand unconsciously rests on his member as it pulses to life beneath the tightened jeans he wears while he takes this imp into his mind for the first time.
In his day, Leon has known only confidence as his amazing member descends between his muscular thighs boldly demonstrating his manhood that other men can only envy, and women ever crave. And due to his unique qualities he’s particular about the women he invites into his life.
Leon loves to travel; having been born in England and raised in Hawaii, his wanderlust and unquenchable appetite for new and various obsessions allows him to experience his freedom with no regrets.
But now that he’s entering his golden years, he contemplates on whether he wants to always remain a bachelor that enjoys answering to no one, or if he’s going to finally settle down with one special someone who will take care of and love him the way he’s always wanted.
So he decides to make a determined effort to search for a woman he can relate too, while working for various dating sites, using his online position to find the missing link inside of himself, another adventurous spirit who shares his common interests. When slowly, he began to take notice of an unusual woman who joined the FindLove site he is monitoring, and as he became more aware of her, he could see that she has the basic qualities he desires in a female.
Leon is very intelligent and has many skills to help him locate and track those who interest him. And being worldly himself he senses an innocence yet seductress in this new female that has caught his attention as she wastes no time or effort making her self at ease among the men on FindLove.com, who seek after such morsels they can taste and then throw away.
Coincidentally, or perhaps fate is even now being instrumental in bringing both Leon and Abby‘s plans to attract their life partner head to head in the same place. And it’s only a matter of time before, like opposites attracting, metal too magnet, their two world’s collide.
But, will their ardent and shrewd personalities compliment each other? Or like a moth to a flame, will Leon’s passionate and controlling nature overwhelm and destroy Abby’s delicate sensibilities?
Little does she know that his eyes have been, and are, closely watching her since the moment she entered his world, and he’s absorbed her every impulse, her every thought and word spoken, that he will use to gain his advantage over her.
Leon is a man that doesn’t take “no” for an answer, and always gets what he wants, when he wants it…

©AthenaRose 12/25/12

Impulses - Part Two

The longer and more intensely that Leon watches and occasionally interacts with Abby on the dating sites, the deeper his feelings become involved. And he is the one man that will teach her, this childlike woman who he has confidence will soon be his, just what the strong boundaries he places around her will have on her free spirit that he now wants to control, as his own becomes intertwined and dependent on hers.
There is a dilemma to overcome first, as he becomes accustomed to her ways. Abby is very confident, much like himself she is spontaneous and enjoys exciting adventures that keep her sharp mind active, while satisfying her innate need for freedom and control over her own affairs.
Leon does find this independent aspect of her nature to be refreshing. And as he thinks of how to tame this vivacious woman whose restless spirit often draws her to the roads less traveled, where she sometimes meets with danger she can’t protect herself from, he vacillates between making a serious go with her, or not.
The way he contemplates this major decision that will seriously affect his life and future is whether this is going to be his last committed relationship, and if so, he wants to make sure she can capture and maintain his attention and affection for more than a fleeting moment.
While Abby leads a basically leisure lifestyle, finding different hobbies to occupy her time, and only works when and if she wants too, preferring instead to support her man in his endeavors, just as he supports her too; Leon works to afford his pleasures and his responsibilities.
Just recently he received a call from an old family friend in Honolulu, Hawaii, in which he was asked if he was free to fly over for a contracted job that will take him three months to complete. His day job as a Civil Engineer takes him all over the globe, and he informs the caller that yes he is available.
With no personal attachments at the moment in New Jersey, where he owns his home, he eagerly accepts the offer for another taste of the sand, surf, and sun that will occupy his time when he’s not working, and is quickly on his way to what he so fondly remembers as his boyhood paradise, where he discovered his sexual prowess as a young man, who learned how to skillfully pick and devour the ripe and delicious fruit of the islands.
In his excitement revolving around the fantasies in his head, Leon immediately thinks of Abby, and how he will continue to keep an eye on her while he’s preoccupied and unable to meet with her face to face as quickly as he was planning to.
This job offer arrives just as he is getting closer to her, and now he worries about the length of time it will take to bring his plans to fruition. But, once on the outlying shores of Honolulu, he tries to put Abby on the back burner of his mind as he returns to his bachelor days mentality taking the occasional lover to bed, never committing himself to anyone.
His life has been one of success and of pain. And when he gives of his time and feelings to a woman, Leon expects her complete submission and obedience. He has to know and feel that she is totally devoted only to him and his way of life, even though in his own self-regard he often takes no notice of the woman’s need of his equal devotion to her.
But, Abby is a different breed then the other women he has seduced, and Leon knows that if he intends to be with her in a serious long term relationship, he will have to learn to meet her half way, to show more sincere concern for her, or else he will remain on the same path he’s on, alone, as she loses interest in him.
A commitment takes two to make it work, and if both hearts aren’t firmly grounded in the other from the start, the ties that bind them will soon come apart. Only now that Abby has touched the most hidden part of his thoughts, and stirred something indescribable within him, does he even begin to think it’s possible to feel the security of one woman’s love as she walks beside him.
Above all else, Leon desires a spiritual connection, cords between two minds binding, and only then can he open himself up to give what he has so rakishly kept in check for most of his life. His true feelings that once invested become stronger and more engrossing with each passing day.
For he knows that time takes away the beauty of youth admired through sight, but the inner essence of a person’s mind remains forever young and it sees what it wants too, it sees all the possibilities that two together can achieve even when it’s in the latter years of their lives, and he truly wants to make Abby his own.
Now that fate has brought her to stand before him, he instinctively sees the missing part of himself in her that he’s been searching to find beyond all hope. And he wants to, no, he has to experience her, all of her, without constraint.
But how can Leon capture Abby’s attention? How can he discover more about her? How can he test her to see if she’s as real as she appears to be, or if she’s just pretending with ulterior motives that he must discover before taking a chance on her with his life?
So he devises a plan whereby he’ll try to catch Abby in her own self interest, and if she disappoints him in any way he can quickly turn from her without guilt. The course he’ll set will be fool proof and once again he’s confident to reap the just rewards he seeks.
Due to his own strict upbringing and itinerant lifestyle, his soul mate has to have more commonalities with him than not, and he’ll stop at nothing to know what’s necessary before giving her that part of his inner self he safeguards.
And what better way to avoid rejection while slowly revealing himself to Abby than to alter his ego and become another man, or many men hiding his true identity in another’s life, creating a secret world around himself so he can see how and if she will fit in with his way of life and vastly creative nature…

©AthenaRose 12/25/12

Impulses - Part Three

Leon has been on the island for thirteen days, and the building project he’s supervising is well underway, giving him more leeway in his downtime to pursue his personal interests. Now, with his laptop fully charged, and a free evening with no distractions, he returns to FindLove and focuses his undivided attention on Abby.

She felt his presence online although she couldn’t see him...

Nudging her as he passes by will be the touch that ignites an unquenchable desire as it instigates a meet between the two. Simultaneously he sends her an equally fiery email to assist in melting the ice quickly. “I can be your worst friend, your best enemy, the nightmare you’ll never wake from, or your wildest dreams come true. You choose, what do you have to lose?”
Particular about the strangers that she opens her self up too, after Abby reads his over the top introduction, her appetite for the extreme causes her to reply, “If you think to charm me, Sir, with your freakish aim to disturb, you have bull’s-eyed your target.”
Within minutes of his reading back from her he makes contact again, and they introduce themselves generally, while making small talk. Over the course of the next few days they continue to correspond until they reach the conclusion that they have mutual interests and would like to discuss them via web-cam on Skype. He calls and she answers.
There is something in that very moment they come face to face that Abby recognizes, a certain allure in the way he smiles, and she can’t take her gaze away from his dark blue eyes as the message behind them grasps her awareness. This undeniably handsome man has a strange and unexpected effect on her, and she becomes distressed at his ability to penetrate her psyche as he travels even further inside to every nerve ending in her body as she feels his sensual attack just by the way he looks at her.
His demeanor is calm, his voice gentle as he formerly addresses her for the first time. “My given name is Roderic Kaiser Sinclair, I’ve been following your work in the community and I admire your skill and passion. I’m mostly new to the world of self-expression and I don’t write, but I’m interested in learning. I want to understand the subtle ways people are affected by what they discern through poetry.”
“Mr. Sinclair, it’s nice to put a face to a name, mine is Abigail LeAnn Mumford, my friends call me Abby, but of course you already know this.” she tries to appear at ease in her response to him, but his quiet look that assures her he has more on his mind than just talking is unnerving her. Instinctively she knows that she is somehow the center of his focus, his intensity.
They barely pass a few sentences between them when suddenly a very strong and unrelenting urge overwhelms her as deep feelings of uncertainty take hold and compels her to quickly withdraw from him. Making excuses and with hesitation in her voice she says, “Mr. Sinclair, you’ll have to uh…um… bare with me please, I feel a most ghastly headache coming on.” To which he replies, “Please, call me Roderic, and I completely understand you need your rest.”
“Yes, that’s it, rest, that’s what I need. If you’ll excuse me then, goodbye Mr. Sinclair.” and without waiting for his response, Abby quickly grabs the wireless mouse and clicks on the red X close button located at the upper right side of her computer screen.
This impulsive move to rid her self of his presence waned just as quickly as it had taken hold and now that he was no longer in her face, giving her that look, she felt embarrassed by her lack of self control. But she still couldn’t rest easy from the overshadowing doubt about his true intentions that were only now starting to wreck havoc on her mind.
Not a man to be easily brushed off, Roderic could plainly discern Abby’s uneasiness during their eyes on conversation, and he felt pity for her, so he gave her a little time to rest and recover. But, he was not going to let her get away from him yet, and within hours emails her again.
“How are you feeling this afternoon, Abby, is your head on straight yet?” his attempt at more dry humor might be misinterpreted, but she will have to get acclimated to his wit sooner, rather than later, as he didn’t intend to go anywhere without her in the foreseeable future.
“You ran off so quickly this morning I didn’t get a chance to ask you… why do you seek inspiration?” he had read the tagline of her profile on FindLove and it made him curious, “Will it arrive in a package?” “And what will you do with it if you find it?” he ended his limited questioning of her as he clicked on the send button. This way, she could take a reasonable amount of time to think about her answers without feeling pressured before contacting him again.
Abby really did require a nap after her conversation with Mr. Sinclair… uh, Roderic… earlier in the day. And once feeling rested, she gets out of bed and walks to the kitchen to grab a bottle of cold spring water from the fridge. She then makes her way to her office at the other end of the house and walking up to her desk grabs the mouse and slides it back and forth to wake her computer from sleep mode. Next, she reaches for her chair and pulling it closer to her sits down and clicks on the Outlook Express icon to check the inbox for any messages.
As they begin their descent into her inbox, 21 messages in all, she quickly assesses nothing but junk mail, and while she begins the aggravating task of deleting them, she stops at one that isn’t labeled [Bulk] and looks at it more closely. To her surprise and somewhat annoyance at his persistence, she sees that this email is from HIM, Mr. Sinclair. Her anger increases to a fever pitch as she opens his message and immediately feels the sting of his arrogance that he unsuccessfully tries to pass off as humor.
How dare he? She thinks almost aloud while trying to compose her response. Who does he think he is? And what business am I to him? Her loathing is slowly stemmed as she decides to respond just to put an end to their connection, “When inspired I absorb and reflect energy, and the adrenaline rush created by the mysterious fusion ignites my passionate nature and wills me to follow its course writing and describing what I see.”
“Furthermore, if inspiration arrives in a box, labeled ‘Fragile - Handle with Care’, and I find nothing inside once the box is opened, I can imagine being stirred by the experience, as creativity takes many different forms to fruition.” “I hope I have answered your questions to the satisfaction of your curiosity, Mr. Sinclair. It has been a pleasure making your acquaintance. Goodbye.”
At this point, Abby feels like she’s been twisted into a figure eight with her stomach tied up in knots. She can’t understand why this seemingly gentle yet arrogant man whose naturally magnetic force is so strong it’s pulling, even sucking her into the vortex of his world where her mind and feelings are no longer hers to control, but his to conquer.
Meanwhile, Leon, and his alter ego, Roderic, have no intention of letting Abigail LeAnn Mumford out of their sight for even a moment, so now it’s time to teach her a lesson she won’t soon forget…

©AthenaRose 12/26/12

Impulses - Part Four

Completely flustered, more about the way she is impulsively reacting to Roderic, than in anything he’s said or done to cause her to feel alarm, Abby tries to put the entire incident, and him, behind her. After all, they haven’t known each other that long at this point, a few emails and the one Skype face to face, so he shouldn’t be too difficult to forget.
Feeling some weight lifted off her shoulders, once making the decision not to speak to Roderic again, she pulls the plug on the bathtub drain, deeply engrossed in her thoughts as she remains sitting and staring at the water swirling down and out from around her.
As the warm water that had just enveloped her body in a soothing comfort quickly dissipates and she feels a chill coming on fast, she stands and reaches for the towel that’s hanging on the wall rack by the tub.
While drying herself, she begins to formulate her plan for the day. After getting dressed and fixing her hair she’ll grab her laptop from off the end table by the couch in the den and see what’s going on at FindLove. She hasn’t heard from Leon in almost a week, and she’s curious to see if he’s back online.
She also wants to check to see who all has posted on the writers threads. Writing is her favorite pastime, and one of the main reason’s she chose to become a member of FindLove is their multipurpose “community forums” where the members can socialize in mixed company while getting to know each other.
There are many talented people, regulars who are bonded by friendship, and their work together is posted for others enjoyment too, it makes for a more exciting and creative experience at FindLove to appreciate.
With her appearance for the day double checked in the mirror, Abby turns the bathroom light off and walks to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. She’s thinking about how good she’ll feel momentarily as the piping hot brew takes over and stimulates her blood and nervous system, completely reversing the calming effect of the hot soak she just enjoyed.
Cup of coffee in hand, she heads for the den and laptop, lifting the cover screen she pushes the power button and as it boots up she reaches for the TV remote that’s on the coffee table in front of her. Pushing the remote’s power button brings the 55” flat-screen that’s mounted to the wall above the gas log fireplace to life.
She’s ready to hear some music as she scans the internet sites, and turns the TV channel to SXM [SiriusXM]. The first song she hears is the new one “Home” by Phillip Phillips, this past season’s American Idol winner.
Adjusting the TV volume to a hair above audible, she clicks on the foxfire icon on the laptop and her Yahoo homepage immediately opens. First, scanning over the news headlines to see if there’s anything she needs to know about, but, when convinced it’s just another day in the neighborhood; she points the mouse on the address bar down arrow and selects FindLove from the previous history list, then clicks to open.
Instantly her homepage on FindLove is staring back at her, and she quickly scans for mail before clicking on Communities to open the Forums page. There are three messages waiting to be opened, so she clicks on mail (3) to access the inbox, and she’s instantly amused to see that the first message is from Leon, when he was just upper most in her thoughts.
Before clicking on his message, and reading it, she checks out the other two messages, to see who they’re from. And just as quickly as she felt happy to see Leon’s email waiting for her attention; her feelings were immediately usurped by a strong sense of dread, when she sees the second and third email is from… yes… you guessed it… Roderic Sinclair, the very man she is trying desperately to forget.
It has been three days since she sent Mr. Sinclair that final email, emphasizing the last word, “Goodbye”, and having not heard back from him on that fact, she felt he had taken her hint and was not pursuing their lack of connection further. Yet here he is, his name, and that face, that look that can hold her captive are staring back at her, taunting her.
Daring her to click on the “Subject” of his thoughts that he begins by heading his first message with, “Hi, where have you been, I’m waiting!” his second with, “Don’t ignore me, Abby LeAnn, I’m not going away!”
Abby is incredulous, and her guts tied up in knots like a figure eight squeezing the life out of her feeling returns just as suddenly, while she hesitates to click on Roderic’s mail, hoping that if she just ignores him, he’ll soon tire and lose interest in her. Despite his obvious aggression he’s displaying in these attempts to contact her, she knows that given enough time he will go away without her having to tell him to his face to leave her alone.
This is the tactic she has practiced with every other man she doesn’t want to keep company with, and it works like a charm every time. And, Mr. Roderic Kaiser Sinclair is just another man to her, and like all the rest, he too will eventually buckle under her rejection.
Or so she thinks…
Abby has never met any man that’s like this man… and he’s about to show her how he reacts to not getting his way… to not being obeyed…

©AthenaRose12/27/12

all roads lead to somewhere…

we’re driving them way too fast
our lives go by us like a whirlwind
to slow down we take our foot off the gas
are we happy in the direction we’re going
or do we take all the detours that we can
how we reach our final destination
is reflected in all our lives past

all roads lead to somewhere…



©AthenaRose12/27/12

Let's Tango!
****************

no matter how you try to hurt me…
i will never feel the pain…
your bite just isn’t deep enough…
and your bark’s about the same…

what i see is jealousy…
as we play this lovers game…
do you really think it matters to me…
how you choose to place the blame…

life is one big odyssey …
as i travel the world alone…
the love i have is what i gained…
from the quest to remain unknown…

i’ll not cry… or lie… or die…
when the spotlight shows my face…
for i learned to rule my own life…
and you can never take that away…

so go ahead and ignore me…
write me off... all of the lists…
we’ll see who ends up the strongest…
and can get by… just based on our wits…

i love a good challenge of the senses …
it makes me feel more than alive…
and you know how much i hate boredom…
so let’s tango… and see who survives…

©AthenaRose12/28/12

Impulses - Part Five

Leon has never had a face to face with Abby. Nor have they talked on the phone for her to recognize his voice. And now that she has made up her mind just to ignore Roderic, she clicks on Leon’s subject heading that reads, “You miss me yet?” which makes her smile.
Of course she does, even though she doesn’t know why and they aren’t very close. There is something different about Leon that rouses Abby’s curiosity, she knows he made her feel comfortable the few times they posted together on FindLove’s poetry board, but he’s so secretive and she wants to find out why.
So, without any trepidation she clicks his message open. “Seriously, Abby, have you missed me?” he asks. His sincere tone throws her off just a bit, as she doesn’t think their limited contact warrants feelings of loss on her part. And instinctively, her defenses rear up just a smidge, thinking about why he might wish her to miss him at all.
Leon is the most distinctive of all Roderic’s alter egos that Abby is about to discover as she begins reading his message. Although they posted together in a public forum they haven’t communicated privately yet, and what little she knows about the messages found in his poetry he seems harmless enough. A little shy and sensual natured is the way she describes her experience with him up to this point.
Imagine her surprise as she begins to read his first private communication. “Hello Abby, I’ve missed our little get together on the poetry board. I know you weren’t expecting to hear from me the way I just disappeared from FindLove two weeks ago. I’ve been out of pocket though, currently on location in Honolulu, working on a job that won’t be completed for another couple of months. And I know you’re being a good girl waiting for me, right, ABBY?”
Abby sits back in her chair, props both feet up on the left side corner of her desk, as she continues to read the email printed out in her hands. “I would like to tell you more about myself, Abby, so when I get back you will feel comfortable about meeting me in person.” an uneasy feeling takes hold of her, as she continues to read.
“My full name is Leon Lector, I’m 54 years old, and I’m originally from Atlanta, GA. I have one younger sister, but she and both my parents were killed several years ago in an automobile accident. So, I’m basically alone in the world. And I’m looking for a special woman to grow old with.
I broke it off with my last girlfriend, Angel, when I arrived home early from an out-of-town trip and caught her in bed with my best friend, Charlie. You can’t imagine how devastating that feeling was to me. Walking in and catching them together, standing there watching them, but as stunned and angry as I was, I also became excited by what I was seeing, Angel on her knees as Charlie was ferociously f*c*ing her from behind, his hands tightly gripping her hips to keep her from getting away from him as he slapped her *** cheeks and kept plunging his 8” d*** into her ***.
I couldn’t believe my eyes, and I coughed like I had something caught in my throat, like I couldn’t breathe. But, I really did feel like I was strangling, until they both realized I was in the room with them, Angel looked right at me and cried to be let go, she was pretending for my benefit, trying to convince me she was being f**ked against her will, and reaching her right hand out in my direction, she wanted me to rescue her.
As I stood there debating whether to accost Charlie, ripping him apart from her, throwing him off the bed and beating him to within an inch of his life, Angel suddenly dropped her hand, moaned in what sounded to my ears like she wanted more of what she was getting, and she gripped the bed sheets tightly with both hands as Charlie grabbed her hair with one hand and pulling it so hard she let out a serious wail, while he shoved her face into the mattress to muffle her screams.
Angel likes to play rough, and she never gets enough, so my anger for both of them quickly vanished as my own d**k got hard at the thought of joining them. Without saying a word I unbuckled my pants, and simultaneously slipped out of my loafers and dropped both my underwear and pants down around my ankles, as I unbuttoned my white cotton shirt. Within less than a minute I was naked and ready to play. I couldn’t help myself.”
Wow! OMG! Were the words in her head expressing her reaction to what she couldn’t believe she is reading, and also feeling herself. At this point, with her own physical excitement growing from the pictures Leon is painting in her imagination, Abby scans down the page trying to bypass what she thought he might say next, and this caught her attention. “I’m a mostly sane human male and I like to think I’m unique.”
He’s “mostly sane”? And he’s unique? Is he saying there’s part of him that isn’t? Well, she is definitely being led to believe just that in this email that has her ready to run for the hills, as she ponders what he really means by all of this. Why is he telling her any of this, right now? But, as she continues to read the third and final page he now says, “I’m honest, a good communicator, affectionate, I enjoy touching, and intimacy is high on my list of important things in a relationship. I can’t live without it. It’s as important as breathing, a “must” every day. I love to kiss, hold hands, caress, and feel connected with my partner.”
So here it is, without beating around the bush, Leon is letting her know right upfront what to expect from him, and what he expects from her. But Abby isn’t accustomed to a man coming on so fast, and so strong, especially when he’s basically still a stranger to her. Putting the email on her desk, she gets up and walks to the fridge to retrieve another bottle of water. With her free hand she grabs a golden delicious apple from the top of the fruit bowl that’s sitting on the bar as she walks by, and with both hands occupied she returns to her desk chair.
Reclaiming her seat she sets the bottle of water on a coaster on the desk, she takes up Leon’s email again, sits down while propping her feet, and begins reading. “Let’s see”, she mumbles aloud, “where was I? ah yes…” “I’m passionate about things that are important to me (my family, doing the ‘right’ thing, making a difference, volunteering for social causes or the environment) I’m sensitive, and enjoy talking about what I’m thinking and what I’m feeling. I am a good listener too (yes, I have two ears and I know how to use them). I’m extroverted and playful, and I really want to know more about you too, ABBY.”
Finishing up the apple, she tosses what’s left of the core into the white trash bucket sitting on the floor to the right side of the desk, simultaneously reaching for the bottle so she can take a swallow of water before getting back into Leon’s email that just goes on and on. This just seems like too much information to find out all at once, and she begins to question his deeper motives for opening up to her in such a personal manner, as she once again continues to read…. to be continued…

©AthenaRose12/29/12

A Mistake
*************

I’m in like now
does it possibly show…
my eyes do sparkle
my face just glows…
my heart beats faster
than I can think…
first he noticed
then sent me a wink...
his smile can hold me
my attention’s on him
assessing my subconscious
he knows me within…
we’ve kept our love private
not wanting to offend
but to hell with the masses
he’s my best friend…
let me shout it from the rooftops
so everyone knows
my player… and me
we let everything show…
there are no mysteries
for us to unfold…
no deep dark secrets
we haven’t yet told…
in this world of darkness
we’ve seen a new light
and for me and him…
it feels real… and right...
so give it up… you haters
you will never prevail…
cause he is my hammer
and I am his nail...
building a future together
our blueprints a synch
he gives me a mile
I trust him an inch…
together we’re perfect
even with flaws
we forgive all the hurts
no matter the cause..
love can be simple
or it can be grand
apart we might flounder
but for now
he's my friend…

Copyright©AthenaRose12/29/12

2012 - Life Changing Moments
**********************************

I entered the darkness carefully
yet eagerly and bold
looking for… whatever...
could warm a heart grown cold…

my mother diagnosed with cancer
and quickly she did die
sadness overwhelmed me
but I kept it all inside…

then I get a phone call
in the middle of the night
it’s about my brother-in-law
my sister’s husband.. he too… just died…
I drive up to help her
close down his enormous estate…

when my husband back home texts me
“Tazzy’s dying NOW!” is all he'd say…
my precious baby girl
my four legged friend
she was my very special gift
right up to the very end…
for 16 years… she captured my heart
there was seldom a moment we were ever apart…

but now… all of a sudden… death is beating at my door…
it has a vice grip on my life… like it never has before…
and everywhere I turn
nothing comes out right…
even my husband is acting crazy
creating unnecessary strife…

here I am… please God… help me… this has to be a dream
but no.. I’m awake… and nobody hears me scream…
one day after the other… emotionless… I survived… when I too… could have just as easily died…

then I catch my sister
running around with my ole man pitchfork
NOW! I’VE REALLY HAD ENOUGH $H!T
and I’m taking a f**king stand!explode
so I divorce my cheatin husband
and make a brand new plan…
after escaping all the misery
maybe I can meet a better man…

but.. in the light of my reality
it’s much easier said then done
because everyone is taken
or just wanting to have some fun…

well…

I consider myself to be honored
a special man did look my way
by wrapping his love around me
he makes me feel safe… in his own way…
but…

we are so very single
not pledged to each other... this is true
so as we continue to mingle
there’s a chance we both can lose…
it’s the risks that we are taking
that could get us caught up in the crowd
if we live our lives without purpose
all we really have is the here and now…

Copyright©AthenaRose12/29/12

The One Without a Clue
***************************

you tricked me… yes… that was you… you saw me coming…
you knew just what to do…
you lay in wait… then jumped right in… saying the right things…
you got under my skin…
oh baby please… you are my world… you’re the one for me…
my very special girl…
without a conscious… you taught me to give in…
you knew I was fragile… but you took advantage of this…
deftly you played me like your violin… convinced me to dance…
so you could impress your friends…
with feelings so new… I was out of control…
I’d never experienced a man... who has no soul…
so many times... I walked away… but you wouldn’t let go...
and made me stay…
you always tried to get me to give…
like I didn’t need anything else but you… to live…
your selfish desires played a fool’s game...
now I hope you squirm when you hear my name… or see my face…
if you think inside me is still a place for you… then look again…
oh yea that’s right… YOU’RE THE ONE WITHOUT A CLUE…
so please… pick yourself up… get off your knees...
and thank your lucky stars… that I’m a new me…
a full grown woman now… with no time for regret…
cuz each lesson learned... taught me quickly to forget…
men like you… who think that you’re all that…
when push comes to shove… you’re just a spoiled brat…

©AthenaRose12/30/12

It's a Jubilee!
*********************

do we communicate
only with our friends
those who will coddle us
and play right into our hands
there is no sport in catching fish
swimming circles within their bowl
why kill time with rod string hook and lure
we can reach in net them one by one to be sure
they’ll remain in our power until they’re out of breath
but where is the fun when there’s no challenge for us left
it’s time the fish move to deeper wider seas breathing to feed
leaving smug uptight fishermen basking in their own ocean’s breeze
incredibly boring it is to see the strong overpower the weak or the meek
it’s the same song and dance repeated when there’s no fire under our own feet
something original would be most beneficial to ignite an invigorating change of pace
not again with hide go seek, follow the leader, and blind man’s bluff, for Pete’s sake
LET’S GIVE IT A BREAK!
so where’s the cream of the crop that rises to the top but don’t play nice in the sand box
if he wants to dominate, that’s GREAT! She knows to submit to the role for her to play
but don’t even try to intimidate or humiliate her in the part she chooses without her say
after all, rules are rules and every game has them, even if it’s just so they can be broken
besides, SHE STILL HASN’T SIGNED THAT DAMNED CONTRACT YET!

BTW, did I forget to mention to you that I’m not into mind games I can’t win? That’s my
“HARD LIMIT!”

©AthenaRose12/31/12

Mistakes - We Made a Few
*******************************

I remember all the excitement
pulsing throughout my veins
igniting every nerve… and fiber
from my toes… up to my brain…

everyone we knew was watching
all the moves we ever made
wondering to themselves and aloud
are they together………
what’s up with those two now…

as friends arrived to share in the love
we all gathered together in one voice
some raising theirs to cloud’s above
knowing the cost of freedom’s choice…

magic was in the air back when
we could feel it’s mystical touch
and no one felt they didn’t fit in
how I miss those days so very much…

I’m often accused of being a dreamer
and told I should open my eyes to see
that the rainbow colored glasses I wear
only sees life the way I wish it could be…

But...

without optimism and hope for the future
recalling dark days we just want to forget
our lives might not hold enough meaning
and our frailties could overwhelm us instead…

so I say… another year is finally behind us
let’s be happy for any progress we’ve made
and in the new year we can always try harder
to improve on whatever mistakes that we made…

©AthenaRose12/31/12

The Black List
*******************

have you ever looked into the dark
with an eye to spy
uncovering truths.. dispelling the lie
there… secret connections they tie
only in the light of day
followers of leaders who do nothing
unless it’s their way…
when first arriving on the scene
so controlled by the unseen
and being told how truly awful it is
no one gets along it seems
this was impossible to believe
why would anyone be so mean…
so… mixing in with the crowds
rubbing shoulders… getting loud
out of nowhere arrogance shows it ugly face
and grins so proud
the sense of entitlement fills the air
those in the clique start running scared
jeezz… you can not be serious…
I did not just see that… there… and now you want ME….. Where?
it’s my turn to bow and kiss the ring
be humble and obey… put up with anything
PLEASE…
you’re self imposed superiority means absolutely nothing to me
when it’s backed up by an empty smell of something that reeks
no matter how high up you think you are
on the food chain
with a character like yours everybody can see
you won’t get anywhere inside my brain…
after all…
you have enough cloned soldiers
who at your feet do follow.. your ego.. they bolster
eagerly and obediently they fight for you… your little wars
because you don’t have the guts to settle your own scores…
no… you just like to start the tiff …
then you refuse to finish it
instead you quickly blacklist…
so now I’ve seen all the twists
having been marked… and Judas kissed…
and here I once thought you better than this…
goes to show how much life I’ve really missed
at least now I understand why everybody’s pissed
for having to put up with your S#!T… like this…

©AthenaRose01/01/13

What's Next?
*****************

When we’re young we look ahead in expectation…
everything about our lives…
from education… religion… work… relationships… birth of children…
we juggle each with its own set of plans… decisions… and actions…
to satisfy our need and extent of the importance of each…
moving forward day after week after month after year…
everything stays the same.. and yet everything changes…
we go with the flow… or we fight against the current…
our accomplishments and our struggles…
our milestones and defeats…
every ingredient put together reflects our lives and what we’ve done or left incomplete…
defines who we are…

When we’re in the second and final phase of our lives looking back…
we’re thankful for the security we have…
having worked for so long and so hard to achieve…
and we can recall the hustle and bustle to keep everything running smoothly…
how frustrating and defeating it could be if plans didn’t come to fruition…
how lives within the same family could turn out to be so different
even breaking the bonds that held them together in their youth…
overall there were goals being met… there was love and happiness…
friendships… maybe foes… trials and errors… disappointments…
disillusionments… death… maybe even divorce…
with children having grown and moved on with families of their own…
unless you never had children…
friends lost to death or time…
spouses divorced or dead…

When everything has been done and said… if we’re alone… what’s next…
01/01/13©AthenaRose

You're Not Talking Me Down
*********************************

I’m emotionally wrought…
because I just never thought…
that I would ever get caught…
loving you…
we were our biggest secret…
and we swore always to keep it…
you were my everything…
you were my first ding…
I wanted to fall hard…
and I must have hit my head when I did…
because I acted like I’d lost my mind…
you’d push my buttons…
and I’d completely unwind…
talking about no shame…
I had way too much game…
and nobody else but me to blame…
there wasn’t no talking me down…
I was in heaven or high up on ecstasy…
something strange gotten into me…
and it was you…
pretty words… pretty how do you do…
even prettier face… I couldn’t turn my head away…
and a body that could make me crazy…
the second I laid eyes on it… I wanted it…
I knew it was mine…
mine to kiss… to stroke… to lick… to grip…
in all the right places…
we made love…
we made promises…
we even made compromises…
then I started hearing the lies…
I could see them in your eyes…
and it was time to say goodbye…
nothing else matters to me but trust
break that… there ain’t no love…
I walk… gig’s up…

©AthenaRose01/02/13

Is There such a Thing as Magic?
*************************************

secret eye after secret lie…
mine…
teachers… preachers… bleachers…
studies… lessons… testing…
buddies…
1st… 2nd… 3rd…
words…
knowledge…
contempt… envy… lust
impulse a must…
selective… protective… inventive…
superman… cowboy... hero…
big fat zero…
travel the roads not taken…
make a friend…
the end…

©AthenaRose01/03/13