precisely

I think 'emotional closeness' is the poing

I think people have a conditioned and psychological need to feel EMOTIONAL CLOSENESS/BONDING

some cannot achieve that without sexual activity and others can,,,,,

msharmony, thanks for your thoughts, today!

The last men i dated 45-55 had difficulty with finishing and or starting - the one guy i really wanted a lasting relationship could not accept the changes in his body - the sex wasnt important to me - but his need to please me drove him away because of ego - sometimes women are just happy to be with you - diabete and high blood pressure, different meds all play a part

The last men i dated 45-55 had difficulty with finishing and or starting - the one guy i really wanted a lasting relationship could not accept the changes in his body - the sex wasnt important to me - but his need to please me drove him away because of ego - sometimes women are just happy to be with you - diabete and high blood pressure, different meds all play a part

Society has put TO much emphasis on sex. To much emphasis on preformance & many men seem to have taken this to heart in their mind. There is NOTHING we can do, as we age, like we did it in our younger years. Prescribed drugs, non-prescribed drugs, alcohol in excess, smoking in excess & improper nutrition, NOT to mention MENTAL attitude; all effect us more than some want to admit, both men & women. We all fear being alone. We were NOT meant to be solitary beings. GREAT COMPANIONSHIP will never replace sex, but REALLY HELPS as we get older. I think if the companionship is close enough, the subject of sex will work itself out. OPINION

That's pretty much how it was with the most recent dating relationship I had. Diabetes, high BP and antidepressants combined to give him problems with sexual function, desire and eventually with emotional attachment after a medication adjustment to his antidepressant. I wasn't bothered by the phaysical stuff... my definition of "sex" revolves around intent but his revolved around mechanics, so HE saw it as a problem. We've remained friends and while we probably wouldn't have worked out for a long-haul romance due to some fundamental differences in our approach to life, we still hang out (platonically) on occasion. Still, I wish he'd been better able to just accept himself as-is and explore the idea that physical intimacy comes in many flavors. It would help him in his next relationship.

First off, thanks for the compliment.

As previously noted, I obviously can't speak for all of womankind... but I do think that women have, by and large, been conditioned to view talking openly about sex as 'unladylike'. *shrug* For me, it's as valid a topic of conversation as anything else. Don't get me wrong; my mother raised me with the idea that I should remain virginal until my wedding night, as she had done, and that I shouldn't really discuss sex in any but the most general and clinical of terms (and with the word "No" ready on my lips). Dad was a different story and I think I take after him, LOL. But yes, I 'get' the whole bit about sex talk being regarded as somehow unfeminine and prone to giving men the wrong idea about a woman.

I just never truly bought into that thinking for long.

I mean, in my college years I and most of my friends listened to Dr. Ruth Westheimer's syndicated radio show, Sexually Speaking. Here was a woman who approached the topic of sex openly, with neither shame nor guile, and who spoke with equal candor to both men and women. The message was that sex was a natural, healthy part of life, and not some taboo subject suitable only for whispered conversations and furtive encounters laced with primal guilt. Sexual desire was nothing to be ashamed of for members of either gender, and therefore it was a perfectly acceptable topic of conversation between adults.

As I matured through my twenties and thirties, navigating the complex and often complicated world of relationships, I learned that the only way to really get what I wanted and to know what my partner wanted was to actually TALK about it. Moreover, talking about sex in the abstract with a potential partner before our interaction reaches that level of physical sharing is a good way to judge how compatible we're likely to be in terms of attitude. Not that this has always been foolproof, mind. But it beats the heck out of just leaving that aspect of our relationship blank until the actual event and going in blind.

Now in my late forties and after having spent over a decade in an ultimately unsatisfying marriage, I've found that it's very freeing to be able to discuss sex openly and without embarrassment. I feel more confident as a person, more able to express what I want and need and thereby increase my chances of receiving it. Given that I'm dating sexually-experienced men in my own age bracket (that is, several years to either side of my own age), most of them have a pretty good idea of what they want as well, and also of any potential issues we might encounter. The ability to discuss these things is, I think, paramount to enhancing the odds of a positive and enjoyable physical aspect to any relationship we may have.

And, well... I've also found that my willingness to speak frankly about sex seems to garner me more respect from men than I might expect were I more reticent. *shrug*

Oh, by the way: If you want to quote just a piece of something another poster wrote, all you have to do is copy their text and then paste it into your reply. Then tag that text block with {quote} immediately before it begins and {/quote} immediately following its end, except use straight brackets [ and ] in place of the curly brackets { and }. Make sense?

I don't know about others but it keeps me fit and happy!

Recently I turned 71...I have always had a healthy sex drive and I think that as you go thru life your prioritys change...Being divorced once and then widowed there have been times when I had no one in my life...But I won't have sex with just anyone just because I miss it...Having friends of all ages, I know lots of men in their 40's, 50's and older that have problems, mostly because of medications.. Having been diabetic (no longer)and on blood pressure meds never affected me...
I just want to meet a guy to have a loving and comfortable relationship with.. Hugs and holding hands are just as important as sex...

Yes. Yes they are.

And even if there IS sex in the relationship, there'd better be hugging and handholding too.

I'm divorcing at 57 and it didn't need to slow down very much. It's a healthy way of being and feeling conjoined, melding into one, cleaving to each other, as "the good book" puts it. But, there are many other factors that need to be there to keep a marriage healthy and alive. I don't plan on stopping, while married of course.

LW2

To have sex is very healthy so enjoy it while you can.

A man is a man and a man must eat and the partner must supply the meat and after 7 years i need it really badly so ladies can you please help me out?

I think it is important to get to know each other, from the start. If sex is the only aim, no deep relationship develops. There is much to learn about each other, at many levels. Sex prevents that from happening or growing.

I don't think sex prevents deep relationships from forming at all.

No sex is not based on age but it depends on persons thinking.

So true!!!

True..best way to start a true relatonship is without sex first.

@human1234

Don't know how "quote" works.

"I exchange messages with a girl, and after a few messages, I mention the (s-word) . . . And she stops writing back to me! What's THAT all about?"

You poor man. Let me explain.

Your timing is totally inappropriate. After "exchanging a few messages" is WAY TOO EARLY to bring up sex to a woman. You haven't even formed a relationship with the woman! You haven't even met her! IT'S SO PREDATORY!!!

TO CLARIFY: A woman does not want to be a man's entertainment. For a woman, physical desire for the man grows naturally out of a loving, caring relationship. A woman must feel that the man values her, cares for her . . . treasures her. And, if she feels the same way towards him; desires his attention and wants to return it, will ardor for the man bloom naturally. Emerging from inside. For a woman, the emotional component is the driving force. A feeling that takes time and nourishment.

Capish?