You are meeting your significant others family for the first time. You’ve already been informed that they have particular standards that are different from yours. Wanting to please your partner by fitting in and being accepted, do you conform to their way of thinking and behaving, or just be yourself and hope for the best?

Why should I change just to please people whom I would not be living with?

I am normally myself and will voice my opinion, I know that is hard for some to believe, however I do believe in being respectful to her parents when we first meet. If I am a guest in their house, I should respect their rules. Tuff part is remembered doing that.

I am myself. Take me or leave me.

The only one I would be concerned about pleasing would be my partner. I would hope he is man enough, to know that is all, that is required of me.

I would just be polite to them and see how it goes. If I'm told that they are a bunch of snobs or something like that I'm probably not going to like them or enjoy their company. They aren't my family and if I don't meet with their approval that's not really my problem. Of course it would probably be better at least for my hypothetical new partner if they didn't dislike me but it's her that I want to be with and not them.

I take it that we aren't talking about her kids that live with her here? That could be awkward but it's still her that I care about and unless she lays down any actual rules or tells me how to behave towards them I'm just going to be myself because that's the guy she chose to be with after all.

I would make adjustments to please my mate.

I see your point...

Yes, I agree.. we put our best face forward the first go round.. but after that's it's like... plzzzz...

I hear you and agree too, toody..

cool, tawt... being yourself... me too... no, I was thinking about meeting the kids for the first time... though I know that can be awkward sometimes too...

<---- Is not a changeling.

Seriously though? No, trying to be something I’m not is not how I would want my boyfriend’s parents to like me.

What I can do is avoid touching on hot button issues. Even if hot topics enter the conversation, I don’t argue...I discuss.

Gotcha... but how far into the discussion could you get before the hot buttons started to feel argumentative... would you stay quiet and excuse yourself from the conversation... or dare venture in deeper, especially if asked for your honest opinion? just asking...

I also, am very accommodating and would adjust.
Like, I might stop swearing in their presence if
they just arrived from Church.

My mate's Daddy, with whom I talk on the phone and
have not met yet, always asks me for an autograph,
and was I a model hahaha that apple DOES NOT fall
far from the tree :-)

I can give my honest opinion without being argumentative.

If someone is purposely trying to rile me, they will be disappointed. I think anger is a waste of time and energy. I just don't go there.

If I notice THEY are getting too heated, I am good at redirecting the conversation or at least toning it down considerably until I CAN redirect it to a more pleasant topic.

yes, I'd save the swearing for the ride home if things didn't go well.. that's cool, soufie, a model?? I bet you are gorgeous in pictures...

I completely understand, Cynderella, thank you for expounding... sometimes the tension gets so thick I have to leave the conversation until things cool down...

I never worry if her folks will like me or not. It's like meeting any stranger. Make eye contact, firm handshake, smile and pay attention to what's being said and respond appropriately.