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| Topic: Should we, or shouldn’t we? | |
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Ideally, I would not want to move in with someone I would not be willing to give everything I have. At least I don’t have to wonder why I’m still single. 
that is funny... 
Glad that my perpetual state of solitude amuses SOMEONE!
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What you need is called a "cohabitation agreement." You'll both need lawyers to represent you or it won't be legal. Spell out EVERYTHING. Who will pay how much of the bills, if any rent is to be paid, make sure it says you both agree that you are NOT getting married, etc. Spell it all out in detail.
Something else to consider, I don't know the laws where you live, but many states (mine included) do not allow you to just throw someone out of a place they've taken up residence. You could be forced to serve someone with an eviction notice and they'd still have 90 days before they had to move out. I knew someone that had that problem. He actually had to move into a motel for three months until his ex-girlfriend moved out of the house he'd already paid for in full. And it was illegal for him to turn off the lights or water. She had three months to trash his house. Do you really want to open yourself up to that? I wouldn't. |
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Ideally, I would not want to move in with someone I would not be willing to give everything I have. At least I don’t have to wonder why I’m still single.
that is funny...
Glad that my perpetual state of solitude amuses SOMEONE!
What? I'm laughing along with you at my own constant state of loneliness too... it's better than crying about it...
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What you need is called a "cohabitation agreement." You'll both need lawyers to represent you or it won't be legal. Spell out EVERYTHING. Who will pay how much of the bills, if any rent is to be paid, make sure it says you both agree that you are NOT getting married, etc. Spell it all out in detail. Something else to consider, I don't know the laws where you live, but many states (mine included) do not allow you to just throw someone out of a place they've taken up residence. You could be forced to serve someone with an eviction notice and they'd still have 90 days before they had to move out. I knew someone that had that problem. He actually had to move into a motel for three months until his ex-girlfriend moved out of the house he'd already paid for in full. And it was illegal for him to turn off the lights or water. She had three months to trash his house. Do you really want to open yourself up to that? I wouldn't. No...  I hadn't thought about it to that extent.. but thanks for opening my eyes...  
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It is nice to travel light. The commitment makes the difference in the seriousness of the relationship. Which begs the question sometimes of which is more important the friendship or the relationship? I like to fallback on "To thine own self be true". Because one should have a relationship with one's self before getting into a relationship with another. Which I think looks at the relationship business like. One can understand this as you keep what is yours and they only keep what is theirs. It makes sense to me anyways. you'd be surprised how many people get together just to have what belongs to others, then try to keep it during the break up... burn me once shame on you........ I am sure that is true. Not my way though. But then I am not a material person. Losing the relationship would be worse than losing materials. I think that people are more important than stuff. |
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What you need is called a "cohabitation agreement." You'll both need lawyers to represent you or it won't be legal. Spell out EVERYTHING. Who will pay how much of the bills, if any rent is to be paid, make sure it says you both agree that you are NOT getting married, etc. Spell it all out in detail. Something else to consider, I don't know the laws where you live, but many states (mine included) do not allow you to just throw someone out of a place they've taken up residence. You could be forced to serve someone with an eviction notice and they'd still have 90 days before they had to move out. I knew someone that had that problem. He actually had to move into a motel for three months until his ex-girlfriend moved out of the house he'd already paid for in full. And it was illegal for him to turn off the lights or water. She had three months to trash his house. Do you really want to open yourself up to that? I wouldn't. No... I hadn't thought about it to that extent.. but thanks for opening my eyes...
Have you seen the film "Pacific Heights"? Watch it for an idea of just how far things can go. |
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Ideally, I would not want to move in with someone I would not be willing to give everything I have. At least I don’t have to wonder why I’m still single.
that is funny...
Glad that my perpetual state of solitude amuses SOMEONE!
What? I'm laughing along with you at my own constant state of loneliness too... it's better than crying about it...
I was only joking. I usually am. I have nothing to cry about. I lead a exceptional life full of exceptional people. Dating is not really that important to me. 
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Sign the bloody agreement!!! And have it notarized with by a law firm.
I lost my entire set collection of Sax Rohmer books that she had given me as a present...I still feel the loss...    etc.
(I love my books!) |
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Sign the bloody agreement!!! And have it notarized with by a law firm. I lost my entire set collection of Sax Rohmer books that she had given me as a present...I still feel the loss... etc.
(I love my books!) You should hire Fu Manchu to get them back. 
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What you need is called a "cohabitation agreement." You'll both need lawyers to represent you or it won't be legal. Spell out EVERYTHING. Who will pay how much of the bills, if any rent is to be paid, make sure it says you both agree that you are NOT getting married, etc. Spell it all out in detail. Something else to consider, I don't know the laws where you live, but many states (mine included) do not allow you to just throw someone out of a place they've taken up residence. You could be forced to serve someone with an eviction notice and they'd still have 90 days before they had to move out. I knew someone that had that problem. He actually had to move into a motel for three months until his ex-girlfriend moved out of the house he'd already paid for in full. And it was illegal for him to turn off the lights or water. She had three months to trash his house. Do you really want to open yourself up to that? I wouldn't. No... I hadn't thought about it to that extent.. but thanks for opening my eyes...
Have you seen the film "Pacific Heights"? Watch it for an idea of just how far things can go. cool, I'll keep that in mind.. thanks... |
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Sign the bloody agreement!!! And have it notarized with by a law firm. I lost my entire set collection of Sax Rohmer books that she had given me as a present...I still feel the loss... etc.
(I love my books!)  sorry, I didn't mean to bring up bad memories for you...
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We meet online, live 50 or more miles apart, and have been seeing each other for some months, traveling back and forth between residents mainly on weekends spending quality time together while also satisfying our sexual connection… all things are going good between us and we decide to become more serious about our commitment, eventually agreeing on monogamy… as time goes on, gas prices start to rise, and it becomes more costly to continue round trip sexcapades… so we decide to take one more serious step to keep our relationship together, by one of us giving up our residence to move in with the other… in order to retain our individual property that we bring into the now combined relationship, should we draw up and sign a binding document that details what belongs to whom, and that we will take our things with us should the relationship dissolve? Because possession is 9/10th the law, when a break up occurs and tempers might be flaring, the one who remains in the residence is able to legally retain possession of all material assets until the one moving out can prove what property is theirs… so advance preparation to cover both our buttz with a binding agreement will make the breaking up process easier and quicker… but… how do you personally feel about taking these kinds of advance safety precautions when just starting out in a relatively new relationship? Relationships shouldn't be taken as Contracts. Issues like dis should be of Little importance. I think People Should be Concerned about Pleasing each other, ratha than Worry about what Belongs 2 who. #My Opinion# |
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We meet online, live 50 or more miles apart, and have been seeing each other for some months, traveling back and forth between residents mainly on weekends spending quality time together while also satisfying our sexual connection… all things are going good between us and we decide to become more serious about our commitment, eventually agreeing on monogamy… as time goes on, gas prices start to rise, and it becomes more costly to continue round trip sexcapades… so we decide to take one more serious step to keep our relationship together, by one of us giving up our residence to move in with the other… in order to retain our individual property that we bring into the now combined relationship, should we draw up and sign a binding document that details what belongs to whom, and that we will take our things with us should the relationship dissolve? Because possession is 9/10th the law, when a break up occurs and tempers might be flaring, the one who remains in the residence is able to legally retain possession of all material assets until the one moving out can prove what property is theirs… so advance preparation to cover both our buttz with a binding agreement will make the breaking up process easier and quicker… but… how do you personally feel about taking these kinds of advance safety precautions when just starting out in a relatively new relationship? Relationships shouldn't be taken as Contracts. Issues like dis should be of Little importance. I think People Should be Concerned about Pleasing each other, ratha than Worry about what Belongs 2 who. #My Opinion# hi Kennee... 
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We meet online, live 50 or more miles apart, and have been seeing each other for some months, traveling back and forth between residents mainly on weekends spending quality time together while also satisfying our sexual connection… all things are going good between us and we decide to become more serious about our commitment, eventually agreeing on monogamy… as time goes on, gas prices start to rise, and it becomes more costly to continue round trip sexcapades… so we decide to take one more serious step to keep our relationship together, by one of us giving up our residence to move in with the other… in order to retain our individual property that we bring into the now combined relationship, should we draw up and sign a binding document that details what belongs to whom, and that we will take our things with us should the relationship dissolve? Because possession is 9/10th the law, when a break up occurs and tempers might be flaring, the one who remains in the residence is able to legally retain possession of all material assets until the one moving out can prove what property is theirs… so advance preparation to cover both our buttz with a binding agreement will make the breaking up process easier and quicker… but… how do you personally feel about taking these kinds of advance safety precautions when just starting out in a relatively new relationship? Relationships shouldn't be taken as Contracts. Issues like dis should be of Little importance. I think People Should be Concerned about Pleasing each other, ratha than Worry about what Belongs 2 who. #My Opinion# I agree with you 100%. It shouldn't be about tangible things. It should be about feelings and connection and fighting the world together. And if that's the case, if the other person really isn't trying to get their hooks into your savings account, they should have no a problem signing a contract that states they won't have access to it. It's my opinion that men and women are equal and each person should plan their own future and pay their own way. Since 50% of marriages end in divorce, it just doesn't make sense to bet your life savings of a relationship. It's going to Las Vegas and putting everything you own on red. Sure, you could double your assets. You could also lose EVERYTHING. Ask yourself; what will you gain by sharing your place with another person? Will that person love you more? Will you be more connected? I suppose there's the benefit of sharing expenses, but is that really worth the risks? I don't think so. |
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Hello Athena……just a thought here but I couldn’t help but notice that 75 percent of your question is dedicated to the presumed demise of the hypothetical relationship. Perhaps if 75 percent was reserved for the success of this hypothetical romance then there may be no question to ask.
Just an observation. |
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Hello Athena……just a thought here but I couldn’t help but notice that 75 percent of your question is dedicated to the presumed demise of the hypothetical relationship. Perhaps if 75 percent was reserved for the success of this hypothetical romance then there may be no question to ask.
Just an observation. |
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oops.....I guess all my stuff has been hauled away because I seem to have posted and echo. sorry. lol
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I don't see why it couldn't just be responsibly decided without the need of a contract.
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I don't see why it couldn't just be responsibly decided without the need of a contract. 
if he doesn't trust me at my word why are we making future plans at all that involve each other on a personal level...? |
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I don't see why it couldn't just be responsibly decided without the need of a contract.
if he doesn't trust me at my word why are we making future plans at all that involve each other on a personal level...? It's not about trusting your word, it's about the laws in the state where you happen to live. In most states, there are three items that have to be met for a "common law marriage" to happen. The first is cohabitation (that's what we're talking about), the second is co-mingling of assets (something you should avoid if marriage is not on the table at this time) and the third is to introduce the other as your husband or wife (people sometimes do this just to keep things simple and to avoid awkward questions). If you're moving in together, you could become married and not even know it. If you don't think you're ready for that step, it's best to spell that out in a contract so everything is clear. |
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