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| Topic: How many kids is too many? | |
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I really don't care as long as it isn't some insane amount of kids to her age...Preferably none, but s***, anymore that is like finding gold.
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All kids isn't the point. Like I said, I have a very well mannered teenager in my home. His mama doesn't live here. We be two bachelors. I did have another one here a few years back. That's when the wife and I were together. The little basterd was a rebellious prick. Dishonored me, my wife, and the neighbors. I sent his a$$ down da road. The wife chose to go with him. She came back a month later without the POS. I love being a Grandpa. I can always give the kids back to the parents. My point is...you speak ill of some children...whether they are well behaved or not....they are still someone's children. I wouldn't have anything to do with a man that speaks about children like that. There are good reasons some children behave the way they do...and it's usually the parents that are lacking something they need...last thing these children need, is a man that isn't their father, behaving towards them the way you did. "The wife" ought to be ashamed of herself. The little basterd was in my fkin' home. I have rules. He chose to buck my rules and spit in my face. If I was his father, he would have been raised differently. He's very fortunate I didn't abort him. The POS was raised that way. I took him in in good faith. He was lazy, back-talking, disrespectful. The wife, sent him back to his mama and daddy in Mexico. Shame on any bich who would condemn her for that. I chose to send his a$$ down the road. What would you have done. These children may need more than a child that has had both parents together their whole life. Children of divorce or single parents are not always fine with their parent's choices in life, and have anger and sadness issues. People getting with partners that have children need to realize, you will be an influence to some degree to your partner's children if they are around you. More often than not, they will not like the union. They may act out because of this, but not in ways that will tell you what the problem is. These children may have behaved like that their whole life because mom has weak parenting skills so the child is spoiled, confused, let to do what they want. Not getting the love guidance, and comfort they need from a father. One needs to tread lightly with children in this situation. You almost can't expect them to behave as other children do that were blessed enough to have two parents, or heck, even one good parent. The last thing you should do is make the child dislike you and fuel their preexisting fears about you. Sure but don't you agree that it's one thing to say that a guy coming into a relationship with someone with kids should be friendly towards them and maybe be a good influence or role model but it's something else for him to act as an authority figure? What right do I have to punish someone else's children? I assume that you are a good mother, so in what way would you expect a man to act towards your children? Wouldn't any decisions made have to be yours or would there have to be some sort of negotiation where you would expect your partner to show respect for your kids and vice versa? |
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All kids isn't the point. Like I said, I have a very well mannered teenager in my home. His mama doesn't live here. We be two bachelors. I did have another one here a few years back. That's when the wife and I were together. The little basterd was a rebellious prick. Dishonored me, my wife, and the neighbors. I sent his a$$ down da road. The wife chose to go with him. She came back a month later without the POS. I love being a Grandpa. I can always give the kids back to the parents. My point is...you speak ill of some children...whether they are well behaved or not....they are still someone's children. I wouldn't have anything to do with a man that speaks about children like that. There are good reasons some children behave the way they do...and it's usually the parents that are lacking something they need...last thing these children need, is a man that isn't their father, behaving towards them the way you did. "The wife" ought to be ashamed of herself. The little basterd was in my fkin' home. I have rules. He chose to buck my rules and spit in my face. If I was his father, he would have been raised differently. He's very fortunate I didn't abort him. The POS was raised that way. I took him in in good faith. He was lazy, back-talking, disrespectful. The wife, sent him back to his mama and daddy in Mexico. Shame on any bich who would condemn her for that. I chose to send his a$$ down the road. What would you have done. These children may need more than a child that has had both parents together their whole life. Children of divorce or single parents are not always fine with their parent's choices in life, and have anger and sadness issues. People getting with partners that have children need to realize, you will be an influence to some degree to your partner's children if they are around you. More often than not, they will not like the union. They may act out because of this, but not in ways that will tell you what the problem is. These children may have behaved like that their whole life because mom has weak parenting skills so the child is spoiled, confused, let to do what they want. Not getting the love guidance, and comfort they need from a father. One needs to tread lightly with children in this situation. You almost can't expect them to behave as other children do that were blessed enough to have two parents, or heck, even one good parent. The last thing you should do is make the child dislike you and fuel their preexisting fears about you. Sure but don't you agree that it's one thing to say that a guy coming into a relationship with someone with kids should be friendly towards them and maybe be a good influence or role model but it's something else for him to act as an authority figure? What right do I have to punish someone else's children? I assume that you are a good mother, so in what way would you expect a man to act towards your children? Wouldn't any decisions made have to be yours or would there have to be some sort of negotiation where you would expect your partner to show respect for your kids and vice versa? You have excellent questions. Thank you for your mother compliment. I did however, have to learn the hard way with some aspects of motherhood. I have few regrets. But one of them is getting with a man that didn't want to be a father figure to my children. Of course I didn't realize this until much later....and of course, he didn't think my children needed an additional father, as they did visit their real father regularly. I discovered though, that my children only spent every other weekend with their father, and every day with the step. Step fathers, and boyfriends alike, need to play, help, and back up mom whenever she needs it. It's that simple. I wouldn't discipline her children without her. That will never work. But she does need a man's help to back her up when there is an issue of discipline. Don't just let her take care of it all. She needs help or those children will walk all over her, next thing you know, we have teenage hellions later talking back and disrespecting, etc. There is something about two people together that makes the children listen. Just as in our friendship conversations, I don't really listen to a new idea until the person next to them also says the same thing. |
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All kids isn't the point. Like I said, I have a very well mannered teenager in my home. His mama doesn't live here. We be two bachelors. I did have another one here a few years back. That's when the wife and I were together. The little basterd was a rebellious prick. Dishonored me, my wife, and the neighbors. I sent his a$$ down da road. The wife chose to go with him. She came back a month later without the POS. I love being a Grandpa. I can always give the kids back to the parents. My point is...you speak ill of some children...whether they are well behaved or not....they are still someone's children. I wouldn't have anything to do with a man that speaks about children like that. There are good reasons some children behave the way they do...and it's usually the parents that are lacking something they need...last thing these children need, is a man that isn't their father, behaving towards them the way you did. "The wife" ought to be ashamed of herself. The little basterd was in my fkin' home. I have rules. He chose to buck my rules and spit in my face. If I was his father, he would have been raised differently. He's very fortunate I didn't abort him. The POS was raised that way. I took him in in good faith. He was lazy, back-talking, disrespectful. The wife, sent him back to his mama and daddy in Mexico. Shame on any bich who would condemn her for that. I chose to send his a$$ down the road. What would you have done. These children may need more than a child that has had both parents together their whole life. Children of divorce or single parents are not always fine with their parent's choices in life, and have anger and sadness issues. People getting with partners that have children need to realize, you will be an influence to some degree to your partner's children if they are around you. More often than not, they will not like the union. They may act out because of this, but not in ways that will tell you what the problem is. These children may have behaved like that their whole life because mom has weak parenting skills so the child is spoiled, confused, let to do what they want. Not getting the love guidance, and comfort they need from a father. One needs to tread lightly with children in this situation. You almost can't expect them to behave as other children do that were blessed enough to have two parents, or heck, even one good parent. The last thing you should do is make the child dislike you and fuel their preexisting fears about you. Sure but don't you agree that it's one thing to say that a guy coming into a relationship with someone with kids should be friendly towards them and maybe be a good influence or role model but it's something else for him to act as an authority figure? What right do I have to punish someone else's children? I assume that you are a good mother, so in what way would you expect a man to act towards your children? Wouldn't any decisions made have to be yours or would there have to be some sort of negotiation where you would expect your partner to show respect for your kids and vice versa? You have excellent questions. Thank you for your mother compliment. I did however, have to learn the hard way with some aspects of motherhood. I have few regrets. But one of them is getting with a man that didn't want to be a father figure to my children. Of course I didn't realize this until much later....and of course, he didn't think my children needed an additional father, as they did visit their real father regularly. I discovered though, that my children only spent every other weekend with their father, and every day with the step. Step fathers, and boyfriends alike, need to play, help, and back up mom whenever she needs it. It's that simple. I wouldn't discipline her children without her. That will never work. But she does need a man's help to back her up when there is an issue of discipline. Don't just let her take care of it all. She needs help or those children will walk all over her, next thing you know, we have teenage hellions later talking back and disrespecting, etc. There is something about two people together that makes the children listen. Just as in our friendship conversations, I don't really listen to a new idea until the person next to them also says the same thing. Okay, that's interesting. I was brought up by both of my parents (who are still happily married) and my father was a strict disiplinarian, backing up my mother and dealing out punishments. If anything though, that made me even more rebellious. I respect my father but I don't always get on with him. I just have very little experience with this. The father of my ex's daughter was out of the picture and had no contact with her. My ex was an independant woman that never made any real commitment to me. Before I even met the daughter my ex said to me, "Don't worry about her. It's me that you need to impress". I don't know though; maybe I should have spoken up when the girl was giving her mother cheek. It was hard enough just standing up to my ex though when she was causing arguments and giving me abuse without trying to stand up to both of them. |
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How many kids is too many or do you have limits on the number?
-No limits as long they are all blue eyed kids 
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As a mother, my preference has to do with the quality of the family,, with no preference for the number of the children
Id rather be with a smooth running family of five or six stepsiblings who live and work together as loving family members than with one or two who are selfish or bratty,,, |
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I love children, so it wouldnt have mattered how many my man had.
However I have 6 children and there are rules and things that are acceptable and things that are not. My ex had 10 children, his 10 and my 6 all got on and had no troubles living together as a family, we had chaos, just because their where alot. but our home was always fun and full of laughter, nobody was rude and everyone new how to share. Privacy had to be respected as did each others feelings and belongings. However I would find it very hard to have a child or children come into my family and be rude, hurtful or selfish. I would expect a time of adjustment, however if it didnt seem like a child would be happy with my children and us being a part of their family I would never go any further then friendship, the hurt for both his and my children would not be worth it. |
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Edited by
josie68
on
Wed 02/13/13 02:14 AM
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I knew I should have waited
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Edited by
josie68
on
Wed 02/13/13 02:13 AM
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bummer triple post
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I need to clarify a thing.
The little basterd was a cousin of the wife. His parents wanted him to come over from Mexico and go to school here. He's an Anchor Brat. The parents dropped him while they were here illegally. That's another story. The kid stayed with the wife's Mother til she died of cancer. The wife was living with and taking care of her Mother. After she died, the wife's dad became unbearable to live with and the wife moved in with me. She brought her basterd cousin with her. He had it in his head he could do and act exactly as he pleased. BS didn't cut it here. After they left, the wife finally wised up and realized she couldn't handle him either and sent him packing. The a$$hole was ungrateful and takes advantage of everyone who has tried to help him. When he was 17 he threatened me. I told him to bring it on when he turned 18. He is 19 now. When he sees me, he crosses to the other side. |
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It might be hard for me to be involved with a man who had a big extended family IF there were a lot of expections...For instance I wouldn't want to feel obligated to have everyone over for dinner every single Sunday...Or go to someone else's house for dinner every single weekend...Would I be able to "opt-out" of some of the get-togethers and family events at times? Or would this make me look like a "sinner" and mean and uncaring person??..I enjoy having free and independent time. (Off the "hook" space and time.) I'm used to being more of a loner...Family get-togethers and special events can be fun and rewarding but I don't want to feel obligated to take-in everything..I don't want to end-up feeling suffocated or smothered.
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When he was 17 he threatened me. I told him to bring it on when he turned 18. He is 19 now. When he sees me, he crosses to the other side. willing2 I see you are a handful and a half 
You want to know how many kids are too many? 6 That would be the other 6 kids (plus our 3) my looser ex husband had with 5 other women during our marriage. |
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I don't do long term with women with unruly or disrespectful kids. I'll befriend, date, lay with, but, won't consider living or marrying them. I won't live with a woman with adult kids at home either. Young, happy kids are nice. But, I am at the age where it's great being a Grandpa. So, young ones are out of the question also. Kinda' weird. I now have a teenager in my house. He is here because he is respectful and a good kid. Soo. Let me ask. How many kids is too many or do you have limits on the number? Be nice now. Everyone is entitled to their opinions. 
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I don't do long term with women with unruly or disrespectful kids. I'll befriend, date, lay with, but, won't consider living or marrying them. I won't live with a woman with adult kids at home either. Young, happy kids are nice. But, I am at the age where it's great being a Grandpa. So, young ones are out of the question also. Kinda' weird. I now have a teenager in my house. He is here because he is respectful and a good kid. Soo. Let me ask. How many kids is too many or do you have limits on the number? Be nice now. Everyone is entitled to their opinions.
If I ended up dating a single guy who has children, three would be my limit. Any more than that and I'd probably crack from the stress.
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I don't do long term with women with unruly or disrespectful kids. I'll befriend, date, lay with, but, won't consider living or marrying them. I won't live with a woman with adult kids at home either. Young, happy kids are nice. But, I am at the age where it's great being a Grandpa. So, young ones are out of the question also. Kinda' weird. I now have a teenager in my house. He is here because he is respectful and a good kid. Soo. Let me ask. How many kids is too many or do you have limits on the number? Be nice now. Everyone is entitled to their opinions.
If a man is Really attracted to a woman, he doesn't care how many children she has or anything else she has or doesn't have. |
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