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Topic: Does no mean no?
no photo
Wed 12/19/12 03:21 PM
This came up in another thread, but I thought it could use a thread of it's own.

No means no. Do you agree with that? If not, why? What circumstances would make you not agree with it?

lilott's photo
Wed 12/19/12 03:58 PM
Of course no means no as does yes mean yes.

Dodo_David's photo
Wed 12/19/12 04:08 PM
This came up in another thread, but I thought it could use a thread of it's own.

No means no. Do you agree with that? If not, why? What circumstances would make you not agree with it?


I know what you are talking about.

If a woman is going to say "No" to engaging in sex, then she needs to say it before any sex takes places.

If she says "Yes" at the beginning, voluntarily participates in sex until she obtains pleasure for herself, and then says "No" before her partner obtains pleasure, then the woman is playing a game.

Two adults need to express what their limits are before anything happens. Back when my late wife and I were just dating, she and I agreed that we would not have sexual intercourse until after we were married, and we kept that agreement. To us, "No" to premarital sexual intercourse meant "No".

HeadnHeart's photo
Wed 12/19/12 04:13 PM
Edited by HeadnHeart on Wed 12/19/12 04:24 PM

This came up in another thread, but I thought it could use a thread of it's own.

No means no. Do you agree with that? If not, why? What circumstances would make you not agree with it?


I know what you are talking about.

If a woman is going to say "No" to engaging in sex, then she needs to say it before any sex takes places.

If she says "Yes" at the beginning, voluntarily participates in sex until she obtains pleasure for herself, and then says "No" before her partner obtains pleasure, then the woman is playing a game.

Two adults need to express what their limits are before anything happens. Back when my late wife and I were just dating, she and I agreed that we would not have sexual intercourse until after we were married, and we kept that agreement. To us, "No" to premarital sexual intercourse meant "No".


Well, I can see the point of not leading someone on to a major degree and then them saying no...BUT. and a big one at that...ha.
Who is going to want to force themselves on someone that has made it clear in some way, (saying no, pulling away, getting up or whatever) and get satisfaction from that?

That sounds pretty hard up to me. No thanks. There also could be a good reason, physically, mentally or otherwise that they need to stop...

Pushing yourself on a woman, when it is unwanted is way beyond stupid.

PS. This is not directed at Dodo, this idea came from the other thread..

SO Yes, No means No.

TxsGal3333's photo
Wed 12/19/12 05:07 PM


This came up in another thread, but I thought it could use a thread of it's own.

No means no. Do you agree with that? If not, why? What circumstances would make you not agree with it?


I know what you are talking about.

If a woman is going to say "No" to engaging in sex, then she needs to say it before any sex takes places.

If she says "Yes" at the beginning, voluntarily participates in sex until she obtains pleasure for herself, and then says "No" before her partner obtains pleasure, then the woman is playing a game.

Two adults need to express what their limits are before anything happens. Back when my late wife and I were just dating, she and I agreed that we would not have sexual intercourse until after we were married, and we kept that agreement. To us, "No" to premarital sexual intercourse meant "No".


Well, I can see the point of not leading someone on to a major degree and then them saying no...BUT. and a big one at that...ha.
Who is going to want to force themselves on someone that has made it clear in some way, (saying no, pulling away, getting up or whatever) and get satisfaction from that?

That sounds pretty hard up to me. No thanks. There also could be a good reason, physically, mentally or otherwise that they need to stop...

Pushing yourself on a woman, when it is unwanted is way beyond stupid.

PS. This is not directed at Dodo, this idea came from the other thread..

SO Yes, No means No.


Myself I have never heard of a woman saying no after she has her jollies before the man is satisfied.

Now I have heard of those that it got farther then they had wanted it to lost in the moment....then said no.... Speaking for myself I know it can happen when the woman gets lost in the moment and then realize they need to stop.... Not because they are trying to be a tease at all. But due to they want to wait, things are going to fast. This does happen.....


Why would any man want to force themselves on someone....There is much more satisfaction when the woman is totally ready...just saying...

So yes no means NO!

Dodo_David's photo
Wed 12/19/12 05:14 PM

Now I have heard of those that it got farther then they had wanted it to lost in the moment....then said no.... Speaking for myself I know it can happen when the woman gets lost in the moment and then realize they need to stop.... Not because they are trying to be a tease at all. But due to they want to wait, things are going to fast. This does happen.....


That's why I said that people need to set limits before anything happens.

no photo
Wed 12/19/12 05:20 PM
yes, I mean no, I mean no means no

Cutiepieforyou's photo
Wed 12/19/12 05:23 PM
No always means no!

no photo
Wed 12/19/12 05:32 PM


This came up in another thread, but I thought it could use a thread of it's own.

No means no. Do you agree with that? If not, why? What circumstances would make you not agree with it?


I know what you are talking about.

If a woman is going to say "No" to engaging in sex, then she needs to say it before any sex takes places.

If she says "Yes" at the beginning, voluntarily participates in sex until she obtains pleasure for herself, and then says "No" before her partner obtains pleasure, then the woman is playing a game.

Two adults need to express what their limits are before anything happens. Back when my late wife and I were just dating, she and I agreed that we would not have sexual intercourse until after we were married, and we kept that agreement. To us, "No" to premarital sexual intercourse meant "No".


Well, I can see the point of not leading someone on to a major degree and then them saying no...BUT. and a big one at that...ha.
Who is going to want to force themselves on someone that has made it clear in some way, (saying no, pulling away, getting up or whatever) and get satisfaction from that?

That sounds pretty hard up to me. No thanks. There also could be a good reason, physically, mentally or otherwise that they need to stop...

Pushing yourself on a woman, when it is unwanted is way beyond stupid.

PS. This is not directed at Dodo, this idea came from the other thread..

SO Yes, No means No.
thank you!!! AND this right is reserved for men as well - sometimes a man or a woman can do something that inadvertently turns a partner off , or an external event can occur, or maybe it is not meant to be.....w/e no is no and it can be said at any point

I agree also that only a true sleaze would want to have intercourse with someone who is resisting or has made it plain she doesn't want him

(aside from the obvious legal issues there)

no photo
Wed 12/19/12 05:35 PM
Edited by sweetestgirl11 on Wed 12/19/12 05:36 PM


Now I have heard of those that it got farther then they had wanted it to lost in the moment....then said no.... Speaking for myself I know it can happen when the woman gets lost in the moment and then realize they need to stop.... Not because they are trying to be a tease at all. But due to they want to wait, things are going to fast. This does happen.....


That's why I said that people need to set limits before anything happens.


nice idea, true. but not completely realistic....unless of course you have not ever had a real burning desire for someone but just knew it was better to wait...that can and does happen PEOPLE - men and women both, have the right to change their minds at any point -irrespective of what was previously agreed upon or not

they also have the right to change their minds and go thru with it if it feels right

whatever happens it needs to be 100% consensual 100% of the time

your take on this is a little creepy dave

Dodo_David's photo
Wed 12/19/12 05:39 PM
Here at Mingle2, plenty of women say in their profiles that they will not participate in sexual intercourse while they are still single.

These women have said "No" before anything happens.

So, what is preventing women from telling their dates/boyfriends "No sexual intercourse" or "No sexual foreplay" at the beginning of the relationships with the dates/boyfriends?

TxsGal3333's photo
Wed 12/19/12 05:39 PM


Now I have heard of those that it got farther then they had wanted it to lost in the moment....then said no.... Speaking for myself I know it can happen when the woman gets lost in the moment and then realize they need to stop.... Not because they are trying to be a tease at all. But due to they want to wait, things are going to fast. This does happen.....


That's why I said that people need to set limits before anything happens.


I'm sure that those that end up saying no, knew their limits prior to the first kiss.

At times I have not even thought of going very far and that first kiss just blew me away. I'm sure it has happened even to those that had limits.....bigsmile But still no means no ......

Dodo_David's photo
Wed 12/19/12 05:48 PM



Now I have heard of those that it got farther then they had wanted it to lost in the moment....then said no.... Speaking for myself I know it can happen when the woman gets lost in the moment and then realize they need to stop.... Not because they are trying to be a tease at all. But due to they want to wait, things are going to fast. This does happen.....


That's why I said that people need to set limits before anything happens.


nice idea, true. but not completely realistic....unless of course you have not ever had a real burning desire for someone but just knew it was better to wait...that can and does happen PEOPLE - men and women both, have the right to change their minds at any point -irrespective of what was previously agreed upon or not

they also have the right to change their minds and go thru with it if it feels right

whatever happens it needs to be 100% consensual 100% of the time

your take on this is a little creepy dave


What is creepy about setting limits ahead of time?

As I mention in my previous post, plenty of women here have already said no to sexual intercourse before marriage. Are they being creepy?

My late wife and I kissed with passion before we married, but she and I kept our limit of no intercourse before we got married.

That's right. It is still possible for people to wait until marriage before having sexual intercourse, and there is nothing creepy about it. The fact that one person has difficulty controlling sexual impulses doesn't mean that everyone has that difficulty.

no photo
Wed 12/19/12 05:56 PM




Now I have heard of those that it got farther then they had wanted it to lost in the moment....then said no.... Speaking for myself I know it can happen when the woman gets lost in the moment and then realize they need to stop.... Not because they are trying to be a tease at all. But due to they want to wait, things are going to fast. This does happen.....


That's why I said that people need to set limits before anything happens.


nice idea, true. but not completely realistic....unless of course you have not ever had a real burning desire for someone but just knew it was better to wait...that can and does happen PEOPLE - men and women both, have the right to change their minds at any point -irrespective of what was previously agreed upon or not

they also have the right to change their minds and go thru with it if it feels right

whatever happens it needs to be 100% consensual 100% of the time

your take on this is a little creepy dave


What is creepy about setting limits ahead of time?

As I mention in my previous post, plenty of women here have already said no to sexual intercourse before marriage. Are they being creepy?

My late wife and I kissed with passion before we married, but she and I kept our limit of no intercourse before we got married.

That's right. It is still possible for people to wait until marriage before having sexual intercourse, and there is nothing creepy about it. The fact that one person has difficulty controlling sexual impulses doesn't mean that everyone has that difficulty.


out of respect for your being a forum member I will respond to the point of saying that if you re read the many comments on here you will find the answers to the questions you have posed as I am not going to fall for your classic move of quoting people out of context, nor will I take the bait and explain any further. If you are genuinely interested in answers there are already in print above. (gotcha) end/

AndyBgood's photo
Wed 12/19/12 06:08 PM
In most respects yes SAVE ONE, (ACTUALLY TWO) Case one, NEVER TEASE A STARVING DOG WITH MEAT! PERIOD. If you dangle a slab of meat in front of a starving dog you will get bitten.

Case two, women who play the no game...

"No baby, No baby, baby why are you stopping?"

Please tell me women don't do that... Not all women do but some do...

Really the only sounds I want to hear are those of a woman having the time of her life under, above, beside, and bent over the couch in front of me... 'NO' is the last thing I want to hear!

So how do you justify an idiot who straps T-Bone steaks on their naked bodies to go streaking in front of hungry lions?

Dodo_David's photo
Wed 12/19/12 06:10 PM





Now I have heard of those that it got farther then they had wanted it to lost in the moment....then said no.... Speaking for myself I know it can happen when the woman gets lost in the moment and then realize they need to stop.... Not because they are trying to be a tease at all. But due to they want to wait, things are going to fast. This does happen.....


That's why I said that people need to set limits before anything happens.


nice idea, true. but not completely realistic....unless of course you have not ever had a real burning desire for someone but just knew it was better to wait...that can and does happen PEOPLE - men and women both, have the right to change their minds at any point -irrespective of what was previously agreed upon or not

they also have the right to change their minds and go thru with it if it feels right

whatever happens it needs to be 100% consensual 100% of the time

your take on this is a little creepy dave


What is creepy about setting limits ahead of time?

As I mention in my previous post, plenty of women here have already said no to sexual intercourse before marriage. Are they being creepy?

My late wife and I kissed with passion before we married, but she and I kept our limit of no intercourse before we got married.

That's right. It is still possible for people to wait until marriage before having sexual intercourse, and there is nothing creepy about it. The fact that one person has difficulty controlling sexual impulses doesn't mean that everyone has that difficulty.


out of respect for your being a forum member I will respond to the point of saying that if you re read the many comments on here you will find the answers to the questions you have posed as I am not going to fall for your classic move of quoting people out of context, nor will I take the bait and explain any further. If you are genuinely interested in answers there are already in print above. (gotcha) end/


huh My classic move?

Nonsense.

I said that people need to set limits before anything happens, and you said that my take on this is a little creepy. Yet, you didn't explain why my comment was a little creepy.

Nowhere have I disagreed that "whatever happens it needs to be 100% consensual 100% of the time".

So, no, my previous comment wasn't a little bit creepy.

msharmony's photo
Wed 12/19/12 06:12 PM
we communicate in two ways

verbal language and body language

so,, no, a verbal no isnt always a no, it depends upon the body language

just like an ok isnt always an ok, if the body language signals discomfort or tension

body language trumps verbal language,,,in the heat of the moment


semantically, of course, no means no

in real life,, its much more complex,,,

Dodo_David's photo
Wed 12/19/12 06:19 PM

we communicate in two ways

verbal language and body language

so,, no, a verbal no isnt always a no, it depends upon the body language

just like an ok isnt always an ok, if the body language signals discomfort or tension

body language trumps verbal language,,,in the heat of the moment


semantically, of course, no means no

in real life,, its much more complex,,,


When it comes to sex, a verbal "No" should be the end of it regardless what you think the body language says.

HeadnHeart's photo
Wed 12/19/12 06:30 PM

In most respects yes SAVE ONE, (ACTUALLY TWO) Case one, NEVER TEASE A STARVING DOG WITH MEAT! PERIOD. If you dangle a slab of meat in front of a starving dog you will get bitten.

Case two, women who play the no game...

"No baby, No baby, baby why are you stopping?"

Please tell me women don't do that... Not all women do but some do...

Really the only sounds I want to hear are those of a woman having the time of her life under, above, beside, and bent over the couch in front of me... 'NO' is the last thing I want to hear!

So how do you justify an idiot who straps T-Bone steaks on their naked bodies to go streaking in front of hungry lions?


Have you never been to a strip club? How would this thinking work there...How would you slow the bus down in that environment man.

You may find that T-bone on your eye or worse, if the bouncers feel like justifying the situation.

no photo
Wed 12/19/12 06:40 PM


In most respects yes SAVE ONE, (ACTUALLY TWO) Case one, NEVER TEASE A STARVING DOG WITH MEAT! PERIOD. If you dangle a slab of meat in front of a starving dog you will get bitten.

Case two, women who play the no game...

"No baby, No baby, baby why are you stopping?"

Please tell me women don't do that... Not all women do but some do...

Really the only sounds I want to hear are those of a woman having the time of her life under, above, beside, and bent over the couch in front of me... 'NO' is the last thing I want to hear!

So how do you justify an idiot who straps T-Bone steaks on their naked bodies to go streaking in front of hungry lions?


Have you never been to a strip club? How would this thinking work there...How would you slow the bus down in that environment man.

You may find that T-bone on your eye or worse, if the bouncers feel like justifying the situation.


bounce away!

I definitely prefer a man who can control himself

male lack of control is an excuse that has been unsuccessful for ages

no one listens to that garbage any more

I used to be a waitress (not in a strip joint tho) - the guys who were all touchy feely were just gross

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