Community > 30 and 40 somethings

Topic: Am I wrong because I only date White or Spanish women?
Dodo_David Joined Fri 08/13/10 Posts: 48928	Sat 12/22/12 12:13 PM
but still self hatred, because one has pinpointed a negative they experienced and equated it to the race they experienced it in, even when THEY are part of that race, A man doesn't necessarily equate a particular attitude with a particular race, just with the women of that race. A man may perceive that he is treated better by women of one race than by women of another race.

navygirl Joined Sat 06/02/07 Posts: 8118	Sat 12/22/12 12:16 PM
I like what I like so what's the big deal Its not a big deal of who you want to date; its just your preference. Do what makes you happy.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Sat 12/22/12 12:17 PM
but still self hatred, because one has pinpointed a negative they experienced and equated it to the race they experienced it in, even when THEY are part of that race, A man doesn't necessarily equate a particular attitude with a particular race, just with the women of that race. A man may perceive that he is treated better by women of one race than by women of another race. and since he came from a WOMAN, that would still qualify in my opinion, of having a negative SELF opinion, racially,,,

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Sat 12/22/12 12:23 PM
People date who they're attracted to. If they're attracted to certain races, that's their preference. Why would others worry about it? Why worry about what others think?

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Sat 12/22/12 12:25 PM
People date who they're attracted to. If they're attracted to certain races, that's their preference. Why would others worry about it? Why worry about what others think? YEah, nothing to worry about just sharing opinions people within the same race have a variety of features to be attracted to or not attracted to I have realized throughout life and experience, that its not really possible to be attracted to a 'race' we are attracted to people, and features, and every race has a multitude of different combinations of features in each individual within it

navygirl Joined Sat 06/02/07 Posts: 8118	Sat 12/22/12 12:27 PM
Date who you want.... no one cares.... just make sure you can appreciate the beauty in all races.

Dodo_David Joined Fri 08/13/10 Posts: 48928	Sat 12/22/12 12:55 PM
but still self hatred, because one has pinpointed a negative they experienced and equated it to the race they experienced it in, even when THEY are part of that race, A man doesn't necessarily equate a particular attitude with a particular race, just with the women of that race. A man may perceive that he is treated better by women of one race than by women of another race. and since he came from a WOMAN, that would still qualify in my opinion, of having a negative SELF opinion, racially,,, So, if a man expresses a dislike of a certain attitude expressed by certain women, then he is expressing self-dislike because a woman gave birth to him? That is nonsense. A man may have a positive opinion of himself and still believe that women of a particular racial/ethnic background have an undesirable attitude.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Sat 12/22/12 03:11 PM Edited by msharmony on Sat 12/22/12 03:15 PM
but still self hatred, because one has pinpointed a negative they experienced and equated it to the race they experienced it in, even when THEY are part of that race, A man doesn't necessarily equate a particular attitude with a particular race, just with the women of that race. A man may perceive that he is treated better by women of one race than by women of another race. and since he came from a WOMAN, that would still qualify in my opinion, of having a negative SELF opinion, racially,,, So, if a man expresses a dislike of a certain attitude expressed by certain women, then he is expressing self-dislike because a woman gave birth to him? That is nonsense. A man may have a positive opinion of himself and still believe that women of a particular racial/ethnic background have an undesirable attitude. we can agree to disagree, if I have a low opinion of ALL the men in my family,, than I have a low opinion of myself,,as they are a part of me,,, and the belief that race is the reason for certain attitudes is an ignorant belief as there is no race with a monopoly on any one character trait,,,

Dodo_David Joined Fri 08/13/10 Posts: 48928	Sat 12/22/12 04:26 PM
Nothing in the OP indicates that its author has self-hate. He alone knows the reason for his dating choices.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Sat 12/22/12 04:45 PM
Nothing in the OP indicates that its author has self-hate. He alone knows the reason for his dating choices. thats true, but the title suggests that an opinion is requested I gave mine,,,

Dodo_David Joined Fri 08/13/10 Posts: 48928	Sat 12/22/12 05:36 PM
Nothing in the OP indicates that its author has self-hate. He alone knows the reason for his dating choices. thats true, but the title suggests that an opinion is requested I gave mine,,, It is one thing to tell a man that it is wrong to deliberately exclude women of a particular racial/ethnic background from dating considerations. It is another thing to tell him that his doing so is the result of self-hate. The former can be true without the latter being true.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Sat 12/22/12 05:51 PM
Nothing in the OP indicates that its author has self-hate. He alone knows the reason for his dating choices. thats true, but the title suggests that an opinion is requested I gave mine,,, It is one thing to tell a man that it is wrong to deliberately exclude women of a particular racial/ethnic background from dating considerations. It is another thing to tell him that his doing so is the result of self-hate. The former can be true without the latter being true. I dont think it can be,, on some level, to say that womne/men of my race are undesirable, is to say my mother, sister/Father , brother are undesirable that is to say, the line I am an immediate part of is undesirable,, therefore, I am not desirable or else, the egotistic belief that I am special and not like all the others in my race,,, either way,, its finding your race undesirable, finding the people who raised and created you undesirable its having a form of self hate at worst, and low self esteem or overinflated self esteem at best

Dodo_David Joined Fri 08/13/10 Posts: 48928	Sat 12/22/12 07:14 PM
Nothing in the OP indicates that its author has self-hate. He alone knows the reason for his dating choices. thats true, but the title suggests that an opinion is requested I gave mine,,, It is one thing to tell a man that it is wrong to deliberately exclude women of a particular racial/ethnic background from dating considerations. It is another thing to tell him that his doing so is the result of self-hate. The former can be true without the latter being true. I dont think it can be,, on some level, to say that womne/men of my race are undesirable, is to say my mother, sister/Father , brother are undesirable that is to say, the line I am an immediate part of is undesirable,, therefore, I am not desirable or else, the egotistic belief that I am special and not like all the others in my race,,, either way,, its finding your race undesirable, finding the people who raised and created you undesirable its having a form of self hate at worst, and low self esteem or overinflated self esteem at best All that the OP's author says is that he dates only white or Spanish women. He didn't explain why. It could simply be that he find such women more outwardly attractive than other women. Perhaps he finds them to be more interesting than other women. He simply did not give enough data for anyone to conclude that he hates members of his own race.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Sat 12/22/12 08:01 PM
Nothing in the OP indicates that its author has self-hate. He alone knows the reason for his dating choices. thats true, but the title suggests that an opinion is requested I gave mine,,, It is one thing to tell a man that it is wrong to deliberately exclude women of a particular racial/ethnic background from dating considerations. It is another thing to tell him that his doing so is the result of self-hate. The former can be true without the latter being true. I dont think it can be,, on some level, to say that womne/men of my race are undesirable, is to say my mother, sister/Father , brother are undesirable that is to say, the line I am an immediate part of is undesirable,, therefore, I am not desirable or else, the egotistic belief that I am special and not like all the others in my race,,, either way,, its finding your race undesirable, finding the people who raised and created you undesirable its having a form of self hate at worst, and low self esteem or overinflated self esteem at best All that the OP's author says is that he dates only white or Spanish women. He didn't explain why. It could simply be that he find such women more outwardly attractive than other women. Perhaps he finds them to be more interesting than other women. He simply did not give enough data for anyone to conclude that he hates members of his own race. doesnt really matter outward attraction is a matter of what 'features' we are attractred to , which isnt defined by race interesting is also an individual attribute and not one tied to race there is no data that would justify eliminating a whole RACE of individuals from the dating pool that would fall short of racist because it would have to attribute something to an entire RACE, as opposed to considering the individuality within every race,,,

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Sat 12/22/12 08:02 PM
Nothing in the OP indicates that its author has self-hate. He alone knows the reason for his dating choices. thats true, but the title suggests that an opinion is requested I gave mine,,, It is one thing to tell a man that it is wrong to deliberately exclude women of a particular racial/ethnic background from dating considerations. It is another thing to tell him that his doing so is the result of self-hate. The former can be true without the latter being true. I dont think it can be,, on some level, to say that womne/men of my race are undesirable, is to say my mother, sister/Father , brother are undesirable that is to say, the line I am an immediate part of is undesirable,, therefore, I am not desirable or else, the egotistic belief that I am special and not like all the others in my race,,, either way,, its finding your race undesirable, finding the people who raised and created you undesirable its having a form of self hate at worst, and low self esteem or overinflated self esteem at best All that the OP's author says is that he dates only white or Spanish women. He didn't explain why. It could simply be that he find such women more outwardly attractive than other women. Perhaps he finds them to be more interesting than other women. He simply did not give enough data for anyone to conclude that he hates members of his own race. it's probably because he likes lasagne and burritos

notsoincognito Joined Fri 11/30/12 Posts: 178	Sat 12/22/12 08:08 PM
I dont think it's wrong at all. If you prefer to date only white or spanish women than do that. We all have personal preferences with almost everything if not everything. Do what makes you happy....

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Sat 12/22/12 08:09 PM
a racial preference is a prejudice,,, but to each their own,,

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Sat 12/22/12 08:14 PM
not all racism is hateful,,,but it is still racism one common form of racism (in my opinion) is the idea of some absolute link between race and 'culture' we only know one's culture once we get to know them, their race wont be the indicator we should use to assume what it is,,,, I do not agree. Racism is prejudice, discrimination with intent, and not a desirable belief system. I do not agree that it is racist to prefer to date within ones own race as long as that preference is not hate based - or based on a negative belief system about other races, it is not racist. People tend to be attracted to others who are like themselves - some to a great degree - others to a lesser degree- but that is not racist if it is not based on degradation of others based on race. If it is a preference based on attraction devoid of any discrimination or hatred based belief that one race is superior over another, it is not racist reference: Racism a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule others. 2. a policy, system of government, etc., based upon or fostering such a doctrine; discrimination. 3. hatred or intolerance of another race or other race

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Sat 12/22/12 08:15 PM Edited by sweetestgirl11 on Sat 12/22/12 08:20 PM


sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Sat 12/22/12 08:19 PM
People date who they're attracted to. If they're attracted to certain races, that's their preference. Why would others worry about it? Why worry about what others think? I agree. it's not that big of a deal but I also do not think it is racist to prefer ones own race as long as the preference is based on factors of attraction rather than hatred of others because of race. People often have more in common with and are more attracted to others who they have a common cultural background with. sometimes that will includes those of other races and many times it will include people in ones own cutural/ethnic/ racial group. I know I am not racist but I do usually date within my race - not always tho