Let's say you are in a serious relationship, and you discover your partner has recently had cybersex with someone. Is this infidelity in your opinion, and would you react in the same way as if they had had a real affair, or do you see it as just internet fun and OK as long as it stays in cyberspace?

For me,yes definately .IT would be enough for me to end a marrage ,II wasnt enough, then he needs to be with someone who is

I agree, it is cheating just as much as if they had been under the covers somewhere. Seems to me that you might deal with it the same way too. Was it a 'one night stand' or an ongoing relationship, could/would you forgive either and find trust again if it happened in 'real' life? If this happened to you I am sorry and wish you well in figuring out what you want to do about it.

Hypothetically, there could be a guy who cheats on his girl, but only in cyberspace, with someone who's far, far away; not because his girl is not enough, but because she's too much.

What then?

Humm well had this happen and they were setting up to meet each other...One thing leads to another if I'm not enough for them then they need to move on.........which I made sure he did...

what is cybersex anyway? fantasy?,,,no, I Wouldnt consider it cheating if there is no physical contact, I Would think we need work on our relationship though,,,,,,

Do u get divorced if ur spouse has a wet dream with another person besides yourself? Get over it or move on.. Dwelling on the subject will make you look insecure and this, undesirable;)

I wouldnt take it as cheating unless there has been a physical contact or a plan to pursue a physical contact. However, we must sit down and address the issue.

I have to say this does indeed qualify since it opens the doorway (FLOOD GATES MORE LIKELY) for REAL acts of infidelity!

If your minds not with the person your with . Time to leave .

sex is just sex.
if that's all they're using each other for,
who cares.
once they start getting to know each other and have wonderful, deep, long conversations,
then i'd worry.

Is it infidelity if you find him humping the monitor while he has a Tomb Raider game going?

the other persons heart and desire is not with you anymore. Is that OK with you? That's the question.

And if you tell them its OK, then they will continue. The risk is telling them its not OK and them leaving. But do you want to stay with someone who is seeking pleasure with someone other than you.

I see it as not only cheating but distorted thinking and exploitive since too many people resort to doing this under duress of one sort or another.

It is living a lie on so many levels it would make me seriously question their judgement, sense of boundries, and impulse control.

There may come a day when cyber sex is well programmed enough that it is just images and digital responses but currently that is someone on the other end of the keyboard camera that is pimping themself and doing the "Brain function" (however limited that might be) for the client. I think when you interact in an intimate sexualized fashion with someone other than your partner that is defintely cheating.

I think relationships are living things which grow and evolve, which also have times when they regress and stall,, we have to work extra hard during those times

I dont believe anyone will have their heart and desire with another 24/7 unless they are together 24/7

we are naturally curious and attracted to others, we naturally have imaginations and fantasies which I believe are not unhealthy or a risk to a relationship until they cross over to a physical interaction or unless they are regular and habitual

to me, a partner seeking such a fantasy is indicative of something needing work in the relationship, and not grounds to leave


crossing the line to make the effort of a REAL TIME relationship with someone else,, is a different story ,,,at least for me

I know that some people try to run away and escape from "real life" and their problems through "psuedo relationships" with others. (On the Internet or by having "real life affairs" etc.)..It would be hard for me to live with an "escape artist" type of man...Or a man who preferred to live in a "fantasy world" etc...I'm a "real life" kind of person! (Even when the "going" gets "tough!")...And I need a man who is just as "tough" as I am! Not someone who always tries to "bail out" or "escape" etc...If I caught my man resorting to "cyber sex" and living in a "fantasy world" we just wouldn't have much in common.

So....him whacking off while she is getting off and not having any contact (physically)is cheating? Hmmmmm. Guess watching porn is cheating too eh? It's living in a fantasy world. Is it right? Nah.....but we all have done it. Fantasized about someone else that is.

Now....where this crosses the line is if the two meet and actually get it on. That's cheating. Just my humble opinion though.

Ditto.....

It is a tad different then getting off to porn...or being in a fantasy world of your own...

When one brings another person in the picture wheather it be online chatting ext.... it only opens doors for trouble..

Could not have said it better....