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Topic: At What Point?
sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Sat 09/15/12 06:26 PM
At what point do you change something about yourself based on the feedback of others (or another)? rather than that being strictly a reflective decision you've made on your own?

Cutiepieforyou Joined Wed 10/17/07 Posts: 43085	Sat 09/15/12 06:30 PM
After it's finally sunk in, I guess.

soufiehere Joined Sat 10/24/09 Posts: 45350	Sat 09/15/12 06:34 PM
I have often thought, if enough people opine a certain way, there MUST be something to it. On the other hand, they could all be wrong. So I ponder on it until I reach a conclusion. It is easy to give away all the small battles, long as I win the war. If my squeeze wanted me to change something, I would do it. Or try. Because I trust that they would not ask unless something needed tending to.

edmguy94 Joined Sat 08/25/12 Posts: 20	Sat 09/15/12 06:34 PM
I think you should not change who you are for anyone unless it is something that YOU wanna change. I find thats the problem when ppl change who they are for someone eleses opinions

Dodo_David Joined Fri 08/13/10 Posts: 48926	Sat 09/15/12 06:39 PM
At what point do you change something about yourself based on the feedback of others (or another)? Back on planet Melmac, that point was usually when you learned the conditions of your parole. I have no idea what that point is here on planet Earth.

Totage Joined Sat 10/13/07 Posts: 24210	Sat 09/15/12 06:45 PM
At what point do you change something about yourself based on the feedback of others (or another)? rather than that being strictly a reflective decision you've made on your own? The only changes I make based on feedback of others is business related.

FearandLoathing Joined Fri 12/28/07 Posts: 30121	Sat 09/15/12 06:50 PM
At what point do you change something about yourself based on the feedback of others (or another)? rather than that being strictly a reflective decision you've made on your own? Never...I change for the better.

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Sat 09/15/12 08:00 PM
I think you should not change who you are for anyone unless it is something that YOU wanna change. I find thats the problem when ppl change who they are for someone eleses opinions itend to agree I like what soufie said too tho because I think sometimes it depends on what it is.....certainly no one should ask you change who you are on the inside - what u think or what you believe but sometimes small things - it's OK for the benefit of the relationship - I think and I agree with soufie - if someone loves you they are not going to make that type of demand anyway

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Sat 09/15/12 08:01 PM
At what point do you change something about yourself based on the feedback of others (or another)? rather than that being strictly a reflective decision you've made on your own? Never...I change for the better. well that was a given

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Sat 09/15/12 08:08 PM
After it's finally sunk in, I guess. for me it's a little more evaluative - I weigh what they are asking to see if is reasonable and/or if it is something that will affect the "core" of who I am...

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Sat 09/15/12 09:01 PM
At what point do you change something about yourself based on the feedback of others (or another)? rather than that being strictly a reflective decision you've made on your own? If I make a change, it's because I wanted to, not because someone else wanted me to.

FearandLoathing Joined Fri 12/28/07 Posts: 30121	Sat 09/15/12 09:08 PM
At what point do you change something about yourself based on the feedback of others (or another)? rather than that being strictly a reflective decision you've made on your own? Never...I change for the better. well that was a given Can't change for the better if the motivation doesn't come from within in the first place, changing for someone else is never a good reason to change.

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Sat 09/15/12 09:14 PM
At what point do you change something about yourself based on the feedback of others (or another)? rather than that being strictly a reflective decision you've made on your own? Never...I change for the better. well that was a given Can't change for the better if the motivation doesn't come from within in the first place, changing for someone else is never a good reason to change. I think it's a good point about the intrinsic motivation. Thinking back on it, were I to make a change - well it's not gonna happen (or not go particularly well) without that...and the times I have tried to change at someone else's behest have not gone well prolly because that was missing - the intrinsic part and I am talking about important stuff - not little stuff like keeping books on a different shelf

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Sat 09/15/12 09:21 PM
At what point do you change something about yourself based on the feedback of others (or another)? rather than that being strictly a reflective decision you've made on your own? If I make a change, it's because I wanted to, not because someone else wanted me to. I hear ya. Basically I think you're right but sometimes I think it's OK to explore why someone would want you to change in the first place often as not it turns out to be not particularly important when the two actually talk it out - or the person asking for the change will realize that it really does have to come from within

SlvrStang_2 Joined Mon 09/03/07 Posts: 6	Sat 09/15/12 09:21 PM
Take a good look in the mirror and really look at yourself. Find the flaws and fix them right away. It's not always your looks that need fixing. Look deep inside yourself. If you get negative feedback than its time.

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Sat 09/15/12 09:29 PM
Take a good look in the mirror and really look at yourself. Find the flaws and fix them right away. It's not always your looks that need fixing. Look deep inside yourself. If you get negative feedback than its time. well I prefer to keep a few flaws - keeps me human if I get negative feedback from another I simply know I touched a nerve. I dont like a lot of negative feedback so I would probably not change in response to it and I tend not to be negative about myself so I will not be getting negative feedback from viewing my reflection in any case I think it is quite fine to fix things that a person wants to fix w/e those things are, if I have understood you correctly

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Sat 09/15/12 11:39 PM
At what point do you change something about yourself based on the feedback of others (or another)? rather than that being strictly a reflective decision you've made on your own? only if it is something I have questioned myself I dont change for others, but I do consider the advice of those I know love me,,,,

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Sun 09/16/12 08:45 AM
Take a good look in the mirror and really look at yourself. Find the flaws and fix them right away. It's not always your looks that need fixing. Look deep inside yourself. If you get negative feedback than its time. So, you feel that anything you get negative feedback on will need to be fixed?

metalwing Joined Fri 11/14/08 Posts: 26218	Sun 09/16/12 08:48 AM
I have often thought, if enough people opine a certain way, there MUST be something to it. On the other hand, they could all be wrong. So I ponder on it until I reach a conclusion. It is easy to give away all the small battles, long as I win the war. If my squeeze wanted me to change something, I would do it. Or try. Because I trust that they would not ask unless something needed tending to. Good advice. I stopped smoking many years ago to please my GF. It was a smart move all the way around.

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Sun 09/16/12 08:54 AM
At what point do you change something about yourself based on the feedback of others (or another)? rather than that being strictly a reflective decision you've made on your own? only if it is something I have questioned myself I dont change for others, but I do consider the advice of those I know love me,,,, this is helpful "consider the advice" from people whose opinons you value. I like that - not a guarantee you will change but agree to consider their idea?